Hey all,
Before I start this post I want to state explicitly clear that in no way did I find the group mentioned attractive or any horrendous thing like that.
So, I went swimming today with my sister, her fiancée and my mom and unfortunately it was on a day on which teenagers were also going on a school trip. As mentioned in yesterday post the dysphoria feelings have come back and those feelings were definitely present today.
Now obviously as puberty hits for teens the body develops and all in could mainly feel was envy in that they are able to develop naturally whereas I haven't. I wished more then anything that I could be born female. When they were drying there hair with hair dryers I wish i was able to do that as stupid as it sounds. It seems that the simple things others take for granted are the things that I tend to desire.
Even now when my head is in dissary the idea of having my own breasts and long hair and feminine facial features seems to be a constant. So perhaps the reason I'm feeling dissaryed is due to massive life changes where I'm moving to a new country, the fact that my mom seems so much happier when i told her I wasn't trans (see last post).
Not really a questioning post but thanks for reading.
Much love xox
