Do I fit in at Susan's?

[Asche]

I haven't been very active in the past year or so.  I've been finding that when I browse through the posts at Susan's, most of them don't speak to me.  I'm wondering if I've grown away from whatever it is that leads people to seek support in online trans fora.

The thing is, I'm not really questioning much about my trans-ness.  I've done the most important (to me) stuff in my transition, I have an idea who I am and how I want to live, and I'm very, very fortunate in that nobody puts up much in the way of obstacles to my living as a woman.  I've found (real-life) communities that accept me and arranged things so I don't have to deal with ones that don't.  My family accepts me, at least, as much as they ever do.  (Everything is met with a sort of content-free "that's nice, dear" response.  I wonder what would happen if I called them up to say I was entering a three-way marriage with a Martian and a Venusion -- probably just "that's nice, dear.")

The issues/questions that I'm dealing with aren't trans-related.  They're mostly:

• PTSD related.  My trauma-related reactions and limitations are really hampering me living the way I want to.  Unfortunately, the kind of PTSD I have is the kind that takes a long time to treat.  (On the order of 10 years.)
  
• Related to my sexuality.  I'm lesbian, and my attraction to women is getting really hard to ignore, but I'm not sure where I'd want to go if I followed that attraction.  I think I'm demisexual (which is on the asexual spectrum) and I may be some flavor of aromantic, but I know I have a desperate need for cuddling and reassurance.  I guess after 3 years of HRT, that second puberty is finally kicking in -- with a vengeance!
  

There don't seem to be any fora at Susan's for discussing these issues and I don't see much in the way of posts dealing with them, either.  But being trans isn't that much of a burning issue any more, any more than wearing size 14 shoes is or needing a CPAP machine.  It's just my life.

But I do miss some of the people I used to interact with here....

[Northern Star Girl]

@Asche
Of course you fit in here at Susan's Place. 

If you are not finding subject matter and like minded individuals to share thoughts and questions with, perhaps instead of looking for appropriate postings that you are evidently having difficulty finding...

... I might suggest that you find a subject area in the forums that you deem suitable and then start a NEW TOPIC or several new topics with specific wording in the Subject Line that will
draw the types of members that you are seeking.

Please give it a try before giving up on the forums.  Everyone is welcome here.
Hugs and wishing you well,
Danielle

[Dena]

Susan's is different for different people. For many it's a stop on the way to another life. They say here a while and the new life draws them away from here.

For others like me, it's a place where we can help others along the path that we crossed. Some day we may decide to move on as well but it's not our time to do so.

There is no right or wrong. In my  therapy group the saying was the most successful transition was the one where after the transition you faded back into life never to be heard from again however there isn't anything wrong with wanting to remain in contact with the community. The question is what type of life do you want for your future. If you decide to move on, we will miss you but knowing your out there and enjoying every day will offset your absence.

[Virginia]

I am a survivor of childhood sexual and psycholgical abuse with Dissociative Identity Disorder. It takes several different forums for me to discuss different aspects of my disorder. MyPTSD is a safe and tightly moderated group. Malesurvivor.org has subforums for Gay/Bi/Trans Survivors and Sexual Identity Issues. One of those might be a good fit for you as well.

[Sno]

Sweetie,

As long as we are here, you're welcome. CPAP or not

I'd like to add to the list Out of The Storm - primarily focussed on cPTSD (which has finally been recognised in the new World Health Organisation diagnostic manual ICD).

We do understand. We do care, and you give as much or as little as you feel appropriate...

(Hugs)


Rowan

[ErinWDK]

Asche,

I want to echo what Rowan has said.  You are welcome here.  I, for one, look forward to reading your posts.  I have seen a lot of pain in your most recent posts.  I do not have any good answers to the problems, but I do have a listening ear.  Maybe I am a bit quiet about lurking and listening; but you are not alone.

If you need to also go other places to get needed help; know this: that does NOT make you any the less welcome here when you do have time to post.

Take this as from another person that wears size 13 shoes and uses a CPAP.

Hang in there!


Erin

[Satinjoy]

Different llaces can be very different.  Thing is you've been here a while and that belonging thing is right there...the hedgehog is a big part of the forest.

Susans is a funny place, imo.  I think its still very ts oriented, but this section feels healthier since I came back (not because of me lol).

Its the relationships and friendships that make the other "life" posts easier, the support posts.

You could easily launch threads in this section that have nothing to do with being nb.

Why folk stay is often to pass on what we learned so folk can survive finding their truth.

I'm in the groove on living, i do have support elsewhere and irl for needs i have, especially entertainment related stuff. 

Its like, places have their functions and organic life.  I think you are a part of this one, and if you did move on, and most do over time, anywhere, well, you would be sorely missed and this forest would lose another piece of itself.

Stick around.

By the way I'm staying this time.  But im back more to try to give hope and love people who need love.

Like you do.