Anxiety about name change

[AnamethatstartswithE]

Hello all,

I'm guessing that this is pretty common, but something is keeping me from "pulling the trigger" on my name change. I like the name I picked out, I have the form ready, all I need to do is go down to the courthouse and file it, but something is holding me back.

As I understand it, where I live they just mail you the court order and that's that, my old name isn't my name anymore. I usually get anxious before big changes, moving to a new place, starting a new job, etc. I'm guessing that's a big part of it. I also know that I can always just get it changed back if I want. (Though I'm guessing that they would get annoyed if I kept doing it). Any words of wisdom?

[Arianna Valentine]

Well I do believe that it really depends sometimes they do have you go to court but from what I understand is extremely rare when I got my name changed I paid the $68 filled out the form they mailed it to the judge the judge approved it they mailed me a letter saying my name was legally changed definitely hold on to the letter also after you get your name changed and then its social security card, insurance and so on and so forth even the title to your vehicle I think.
But I think Nike said it best  when they said just do it!!! Trust me it's really not all that bad and there is so much freedom in picking your own name and changing your name.

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[KathyLauren]

What exactly is holding you back?  Analyse it.  Do you have doubts about transitioning and think that this is the "thin edge of the wedge"?  Do you think you picked the "wrong" name?

I am guessing that a more likely reason for hesitating is that this may be the first "official" step on your journey and it means that your transition is really happening.  You have to take that first step some time.  So, unless you really strongly think this is a mistake, just do it!

I bet the whole neighbourhood could hear my "squeeeeeee" when the letter arrived in my mailbox from Vital Statistics, addressed to "Kathleen Lauren _______"!

[Alice V]

Just do it? Maybe with few deep breaths If that such simple process there shouldn't be problems, I'm glad for you

[AnamethatstartswithE]

What exactly is holding you back?  Analyse it.  Do you have doubts about transitioning and think that this is the "thin edge of the wedge"?  Do you think you picked the "wrong" name?

I am guessing that a more likely reason for hesitating is that this may be the first "official" step on your journey and it means that your transition is really happening.  You have to take that first step some time.  So, unless you really strongly think this is a mistake, just do it!

I bet the whole neighbourhood could hear my "squeeeeeee" when the letter arrived in my mailbox from Vital Statistics, addressed to "Kathleen Lauren _______"!

Interesting thought, for my first name, I really go by a nickname I like, and I backtracked that for my official name.

It's weird that I've been on hrt for a year now, I have boobs and love full time, I think part of this may be that once I eliminate those last bits of masculinity I won't have a "safety net" anymore. Part of me really wants to just get it over with, another part of me doesn't want to go through the hassle right now. We'll see.

[StacyRenee]

It is a monumental step. Like KathyLauren said, it is the first official step. But once you get that piece of paper the world is yours! You go everywhere to change your records and get to show it off. Claiming your place in the world is so empowering! And don't get me started on gender markers!

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[MissyMay2.0]

This is your transition journey, so if you are more comfortable with your birth name at this time then that is where you are, maybe just give yourself more time to acclimate, and move forward when you feel ready.  And with that being said I will share that having my birth name changed to my chosen female name was an amazing spectacular event, which was incredibly affirming, and life changing😊

[Kendra]

Political considerations can cause a sudden change to local or national rules for updating name and/or gender marker.  In many cases, changes to government policies have made things easier but that is not guaranteed and could go the other direction.

I sure like having my passport and other documents match when I'm at the airport.  The only approval I needed was a note from endocrinologist after I started HRT. 

[AnamethatstartswithE]

I filed the petition this afternoon. The clerk had an odd expression of surprise that I was doing a name change, and was visibly surprised when she saw the form. Score one for me passing. After that she was kind and professional for the rest of the transaction.

[JudiBlueEyes]

Good News!  Now that wasn't too hard, was it?  I know you'll be happy when its changed. 

I had the same kind of response when turning in my passport application. 
Judi

[AnamethatstartswithE]

Good News!  Now that wasn't too hard, was it?  I know you'll be happy when its changed. 

I had the same kind of response when turning in my passport application. 
Judi

I've only had a couple "did I think hard enough about my name" freakouts today. Based on past experience by tomorrow morning that will be gone. Besides, I can always try to get people to call me "Danger McAwesome" as a nickname if I end up hating it.

[AnamethatstartswithE]

Ok, so I'm still freaking out a little, sort of a "what if I find I don't like my new name" thing. I tell myself that I'll just pick a new one and go by that, the legal name only matters for official documents, and as long as the name presentation and gender marker match I can call myself anything I want in day to day life.

I think part of the issue is that for me choosing something means that I can't choose something else, and the loss of that possibility feels like a loss for me.

[Lucca]

Ooh, I understand. I get anxious just when setting names to electronic accounts that can't be changed later. I suspect I'll have a hurdle of anxiety to get over in order to legally changed my name.

[AnamethatstartswithE]

I think I'm calming down now. Honestly, this was smoother than changing my Facebook name, if you've never done that they have like 3 are you sures and you can't change it again for 2 months. Part of me is scared about changing it everywhere else, I have a perfectionist streak that makes me overthink these types of things.

[JudiBlueEyes]

Take a deep breath and relax.  Ahhhhh!

I like the idea of defaulting to a nickname if you decide the chosen one isn't quite right.  I think it will be though once you settle in with it. 

It's so much easier having someone else picked our name!

[AnamethatstartswithE]

It's so much easier having someone else picked our name!

I know! I'm definitely getting better, I think it's just change anxiety.

[Kendra]

> this was smoother than changing my Facebook name

What is Facebook?

[AnamethatstartswithE]

What is Facebook?

I'm a millennial, give me a break.