Hello from Malaysia - Partner of Gorgeous Transwoman

[JessieH]

Hi there! I accidentally found this forum looking for a sextoy for my transgirl. I am so glad I found this place. I live in Malaysia, Malaysian but have lived around the world and a writer. I am 44, was cis-straight lol until end of last year when I discovered that, my lesbian fantasies were not just fantasies but real after sexual encounter. It threw me into an identity crisis too as I started thinking, maybe I like girls because I was more of a dude inside.

A few months later, I met a transwoman who is pre-op and still works as a male - ex military pilot, still works as a private contractored pilot. Love at first sight, met at a party, courted this amazing creature for three months, met again and decided to become a couple. It's been five months, we're in a LDR, she lives in Thailand but works in a different continent while I live in Malaysia - intolerant majority Muslim country (I'm not Muslim).

She is also in a poly paper marriage with a cis-gendered Thai girl who is living together with her Thai baby-daddy. It's a party of four, I am OK with the poly situation but I am my transgirls' primary partner. She is 50, highly decorated military vet, comes with some ptsd issues on top of the dysphoria, divorced and has two children who are 18. I'm divorced and have an 11 year old son, share custody with my European ex.

I need a lot of education and info about being in a relationship with a transwoman. I only saw her as a person, I have been a long time ally of the lgbtq community and have gay bestfriends. I am well aware of many community issues and I have activists friends but nothing had prepared me to firsthand experience what I'm experiencing in this relationship. 

All I know is that I love her very very much, not planning to run away at the first sign of complications, which are many haha, (life is complicated anyways) and strive to make her happy everyday as much as possible, tho I ->-bleeped-<- up royally sometimes and get into the doghouse..being the 16 year old male brain that I've fully accepted....

I am falling under the spectrum of fluid, and butch lesbian - which is hilarious as people saw the drastic change I made with wardrobe and appearance. I just had to do what I felt inside for a long time and coming from the Indian community, it's quite shocking for many. But I don't care as I had always been a rebel, and did things which were out of the ordinary.

That's my story and I would sure love to find out how to make my partner, the love of my life, the one I want to marry someday (my first relationship in five years after my divorce and told everyone I will never marry agn haha) a happy lady.

Thank you and hope to make some friends here :-) 

[Megan.]

Hi Jessie,  welcome [emoji5]

Firstly thankyou for your open-mindedness in accepting others wholely.

Secondly, as you're discovering, gender and sexuality can cover an almost infinite number if combinations. There is no right or wrong, just what what feels right to you and makes you happy. It sounds like you're in that happy place, so that's great!

I'm also currently in a LDR, it's not easy, but best wishes for you all in the future. X

Sent from my MI 5s using Tapatalk

[JessieH]

Hi Megan,

Thank you for the welcome! Looking forward to having more fruitful chats. Yes, I agree and see it now when it comes to my own gender identity and sexual orientation. I was even confused for awhile about who to have sex with and dysphoria once I switched, esp when I presented more masculine externally. If I mess up on terms etc please forgive me in advance as I am still learning.

[V M]

Hi Jessie 

Welcome to Susan's Place    Glad to have you here, join on in the fun

Here are some links to the site rules and stuff that we offer to all new members to help them along

Things that you should read

Site Terms of Service & Rules to Live By	Standard Terms & Definitions	Post Ranks (including when you can upload an avatar)	Cautionary Note
Reputation rules	News posting & quoting guidelines	Photo, avatars, & signature images policy	Membership Agreement

Hugs

V M

[Northern Star Girl]

@JessieH
Hello Jessie,   
Thank you for introducing yourself with your detailed and interesting posting.     
I am glad that you have become a member of Susan's Place and that you have shared your introductory posting with other members here on the Forums.
I am thinking that you may lots more questions and concerns, this is the right place for you to be to find out what others have done that may have been in your circumstances.
 
Be aware that there are a lot of members here that can identify with what you may be going through.

I see that our very lovely member  @V M  has already welcomed you but also please allow me now to also warmly WELCOME you to Susan's Place.  You will find this a safe and friendly place to share with others  and to read about others similar trials, tribulations, and successes.
It is nice that you had signed up so you can share with others and involve yourself with some give and take with other members.
When frustrated or if you have successes you can share it here if you wish and receive support from others and offer support to others. ....

***It's a very good chance that you might find that you will make some new friends here. 

Please come in and continue to be involved at your own pace. 

Below the Welcome Message that @V M  posted, she included Important LINKS that will tell you about Susan's Place.  Included there is information about the site that will help you navigate around and best utilize the features here.   
As she indicated please look closely at the LINKS in RED, there answers there to many questions that new members ask.

Again, Welcome to Susan's Place.
Danielle