It's about time I introduced myself after a year of not saying very much. By saying who I am, I can participate fully on this site in an open and honest manner. So, here goes. I am transitioning MTF and have been receiving HRT since December. I waited this long (I am well over 60) because there is no one to tell me that I can't. I came out to my daughter the other day, and I am eligible to retire at work (with the red tape involved, it will take forever!). I am presenting as a male at work and androgynously on weekends (these things take time). When I get my retirement squared away, events will proceed at a much faster pace.
In grade school and high school, I didn't do "boy" very well. I was socially awkward and terrible at Phys Ed. Not that I wanted to be a girl, though. I tried so hard to be a boy but never was able to succeed at it. I got called "fairy' a lot, even though was not consciously acting Gay or girly. I must have been sending out signals that I did not perceive.
From high school on, I began crossdressing in secret at home when nobody was looking. I was always afraid that somebody would find out and make fun of me.
After I got married, I came out to my wife on crossdressing, and she went along with it until she thought I was going to far. it contributed to our eventual divorce, although we remained friends afterward. That was much better for our daughter as well. I'm glad of that.
As time went on, I began to think of the possibility of transitioning, although I could not see any practical way of making it happen under the circumstances. My wardrobe was a mixture of men's and women's clothing which I combined while presenting as a male. I liked to go to a downtown bar "en femme", although not often enough, even though I always had a good time. The last couple of years, I began to see that transitioning could be possible even at my age, and started looking seriously in to the matter. The fact that I do not look my age is very comforting. I see plenty of 50 year old women who look great and are full of life. I would prefer that to looking like a 50 year old man not enjoying life. I want to be accepted as a woman. It's about time.
Thanks for listening.
Barbara
