Which hurts less

[EllenW]

My orchiectomy is on February 23 and I am excited.  I'm all set with the insurance and I scheduled time off from work.  Other than my wife and you all, I am not telling anyone because it is none of their business.

Emma,
Wishing you the best on your surgery.

And you are correct, it is none of their business. I only told a handful of close friends that were going to provide support during recovery. My coworkers only knew I was going to be out for a while to recover from surgery. Since

Ellen

[Jessica_Rose]

My orchiectomy is on February 23 and I am excited.  I'm all set with the insurance and I scheduled time off from work.  Other than my wife and you all, I am not telling anyone because it is none of their business.

I guess my excitement for the surgery proves to me that I am transgender...as if I really needed any.

It is indeed no one else's business! I know you'll be happy to have one less thing to worry about, well, two things. It also opens up a few more clothing options, and crossing your legs will be much more comfortable. I hope everything goes well.

Love always -- Jessica Rose

[Emma1017]

Thank you Davina, Ellen and Jessica.  Fingers crossed!!!

[Brooke Renee]

Hi Emma and a huge congrats on your upcoming surgery!!!  This has to be an exquisite moment of affirmation for you!  I am so happy for you!!! 

Warmly,

Brooke

[Emma1017]

Thanks Brooke.  Here among you all is the only place where people appreciate how important that surgery is. 

[Brooke Renee]

Here among you all is the only place where people appreciate how important that surgery is. 

So true girl!  Our desire to cast away the trappings of CIS male privilege like yesterday's taco wrappers is uniquely trans.  While 98% of men are running in fear, we are inquiring about a group rate. 

[REM.1126]

I hope it does well and you are happy with the results. 

[Emma1017]

Thanks Rachel.  Maybe I can play soccer again and not worry .

[REM.1126]

I hope so.  But at our age, you might consider not playing.  I tore my ACL thinking I was still young. 

But, more generally, I hope that it is as emotionally satisfying as ...I would imagine.

[Emma1017]

Thanks Rachel.  It is truly meaningful to me.

Being transgender is truly a unique human experience.

[Emma1017]

Today I had to wear a suit and tie to work.  It was for a client's memorial.  It was an honor to do it because we had worked together for 30 years and he was an incredible human being but the suit felt so strange.  COVID changed the work rules and five years on HRT have changed me.  I wear a dress shirt and slacks to work now but the suit felt so much more alien.  It felt like a costume.  I hated wearing it.  It was not me.

I think, like so many of us who have to pass as male every day for so many different reasons, the sense of who I am is hidden in the shadows of who I have to be.  I have chosen this path and I am not complaining, we all have had tough decisions to make, but the suit and tie today drove home the point that I am never going backward again. 

I may have compromised but I have not surrendered.

[EllenW]

Emma,

I know how you feel. Before I was able to transition each time, I had to see a customer or go into the corporate office I felt like an imposter.

I am happy t hear that you have not surrendered.

Lots of hugs

Ellen

[REM.1126]

I empathize with you.  It's one of those things you sort of have to have GD to understand, and if you do have it, you get it. 

[davina61]

I had to wear a suit to my first grandchild's christening under orders from the now ex, last time I did as it and all my old gear went to the charity shop. Wore a posh frock to the next ones no problem!

[Gina P]

I still have my suit hanging in the closet but it and all my male cloths are to be donated soon. I feel for you having to keep switching identities. I had a court appearance 6 months ago and went male(ok endogenous) and felt so uncomfortable. I will never do that again.
Gina

[Emma1017]

We all have our "male clothes" stories.  It's amazing how similar the stories are.  I agree, Rachel, if you have gender dysphoria, you understand.

Separately, this was announced yesterday: 

"Will & Harper," a heartfelt and heartbreaking documentary about Will Ferrell's cross-country road trip with his best friend Harper Steele, who recently came out as transgender, sold to Netflix after its Sundance Film Festival debut."

I am looking forward to seeing it!

[Brooke Renee]

Hi Emma,

Glad you made it through the suit situation.  Like you and the other ladies have said, if you suffer from GD you understand just how triggering these things are. If I have to wear a pair of wingtips one more time I am going to blow an O-ring! 

Thanks for the heads up on the movie, I look forward to watching!


Warmly,

Brooke

[Emma1017]

Brooke, I absolutely agree.  Men's clothes, particularly suits, are so triggering!!!  I am looking forward to that movie as well!

I changed my avatar photo because it always makes me laugh.  My friend wanted to take my picture and she was trying to get me to pose.  She kept yelling "Open up your eyes more". I tried and she captured my frustration in that moment.  Definitely not the "Emma" smile that my therapist always notices when I am me...maybe this photo is more realistic...

[Brooke Renee]

Brooke, I absolutely agree.  Men's clothes, particularly suits, are so triggering!!!  I am looking forward to that movie as well!

I changed my avatar photo because it always makes me laugh.  My friend wanted to take my picture and she was trying to get me to pose.  She kept yelling "Open up your eyes more". I tried and she captured my frustration in that moment.  Definitely not the "Emma" smile that my therapist always notices when I am me...maybe this photo is more realistic...

Love the photo Emma!  Very cute, very fun! 


Hugs,

Brooke

[Emma1017]

Brooke it is definitely me.  The other photos touch my soul.  This one touches my reality.  She was driving me crazy!!!!