Which hurts less

[Emma1017]

O&C, HRT definitely changed me, physically and emotionally.  My wife supports me and, not happy, accepts me.

[Oldandcreaky]

My question was whether she's ever been near when someone addressed you as female, and if so, did she react? I ask because the people who've only seen daily, ever-so-slight, incremental change often miss the accumulative, big change.

Back when I was still presenting as male, I attended a workshop with a colleague. Other than her, everyone was else was seeing me for the first time and saw me as female, even though I was presenting as male.

Off to the side, "They see me as female."

"Nah," she replied.

"Just listen," I said.

So, she did, and she heard "she" and "her."

She was astonished. She couldn't see it, i.e. the change in me, but she heard the change in others and understood that they saw it.

I'm wondering if your wife has had a similar experience, because when my colleague did, to the best of her ability, she looked at me anew.

[Emma1017]

She has and she quietly observes.  After all this time she accepts what I am but she still wants it kept private.  No one has been directly confrontational so it still is deniable.  I haven't gone away and she hasn't asked me to go away. 

We still take joy in each other's company. 

[Oldandcreaky]

Thanks for answering, Emma. It sounds like you've set a comforting course.

[ChrissyRyan]

She has and she quietly observes.  After all this time she accepts what I am but she still wants it kept private.  No one has been directly confrontational so it still is deniable.  I haven't gone away and she hasn't asked me to go away. 

We still take joy in each other's company. 

I am glad your relationship is steadfast.

Chrissy

[Oldandcreaky]

I am glad your relationship is steadfast.

Chrissy

I'll tell you what's steadfast: Miss ChrissyRyan!

[Emma1017]

I agree O&C, Chrissy is steadfast and always has your back!

The one giveaway for my wife regarding my gender is the size of my breasts.  I do a good job disguising but at home, there is no hiding them. 

[Emma1017]

"I have had several dog owners say, "My dog really loves you. She only loves women, but she really loves you."  Dogs can suss us out with a sniff."

O&C, I reread your comment today because I had exactly the same experience this past last week.

I have developed a female friend who I originally hired to help me with my makeup. She rents a studio in a women's center in lower Manhattan. I meet her there so I can do my gender wardrobe change from my male role to the female me. Her friendship gives me a sense of safety, caring, and support that my soul is bursting to feel.

When I met her at the studio, there was a group of women getting ready for a karaoke party sitting on a group of couches. Some knew me and others were strangers. I was introduced as Emma even though I was still wearing my male street clothes.

Standing there I attracted the attention of Frankie, a vicious, man-hating dog that threatened to rip my legs off. I quickly retreated to the changing room with my friend and firmly closed the door to protect me from the rabid teeth of an avenging man-hating dog.

I joyfully shed the male costume and began to relax as I became me. We were planning on some light shopping and a trip to a local coffee shop. As I slowly opened the door, fearing another attack by the vicious, misandrist dog, this is what I found:

                 

Frankie came over and started to lick my hand. The women all looked on with shock. Frankie never did that with men, ever. I smiled at all of them and said, "That's easy to understand. I am not a man. I am a woman."

I had passed the "Frankie" test.  I no longer fear being clocked. Frankie knows better.