Quote from: Alaskan Danielle on August 06, 2018, 08:30:18 PM
@Maddie86
Your picture looks terrific with the darker lipstick... did you do your nails in a similar shade perhaps?
I love how your hair looks in your picture too. I love how you did that little wavy bang in the front just over your left eye.... and your dress, at least the top of it seen in the picture looks nice on you.
Thank you for sharing all of this with your followers.
Hugs and hugs,
Danielle
aw, thanks! I didn't paint my nails last weekend but I should have, I think I'm going to do them this weekend and I'm thinking about doing them black! and it's funny, the wave was kind of an accident lol, I pinned my hair up and it just dried like that! and I wasn't wearing a dress, it was just a black top and I wore jeans with it, but thanks though! I need to get some more casual dresses, I feel like a lot of the ones I have are too much for a casual dinner with a friend. I think I'm set with summer clothes for this year, I'll focus on better ones next year, fall is just around the corner and that's my favorite season so I'll focus on getting some good clothes for that
Quote from: DawnOday on August 07, 2018, 02:58:20 AM
Hon anti depressants are a last resort as they take away all feeling. No joy. No sadness. Just one long string of days without feeling. Actually for me E was what brought me back to normal. I now have a desire to be happy and positive. People used to say I was the most negative person they have ever met.I didn't realize it at the time just how bad I was. Please reconsider. See if you can talk it out with your therapist. Maddie don't be so hard on yourself. They are the ones with the problem, not you.
honestly, I've always been a pretty negative person. It's something that I really tried to get free from when I came out and it worked for a while but it's all coming back. Depression can be hereditary and I'm pretty sure that's how I got it, my mom is definitely depressed and negative all the time. I could see it in my grandmother too and I think she got it from her dad, I've been going through so many old photos with my sister and there's a lot of pictures of my great grandfather, and there's not one where he's smiling, he's not even smiling in the one where he's having a drink with his son who just got home from the war!
I don't have much of a middle ground, I'm sad a lot of the time or the times that I get happy I'm super excitable to the point where I annoy people. I was thinking about trying to start with a low dose of some sort of medication to even me out. I could stand to have less highs, but I don't want to have no highs at all, especially with my favorite season coming up, and one of my best friends is about to give birth! I know I have a lot to be happy about, I look back on my old self and see that I really have come a long way, but somehow it doesn't feel like enough, I still feel invisible a lot of the time and that I don't matter and that not much would be different if I never existed. I hate feeling like that and when the negative thoughts come in I tend to dwell on them and it's hard for me to shake them off.
Quote from: LizK on August 07, 2018, 04:23:57 AM
Hi Maddie
I think its too cute you lectured your cat about the evils of underage drinking...the real question is has the cat reoffended? Did it get the message LOL...
I am a worrier about hair loss in the shower and a few things that I do to help prevent it are wash it gently, massage the scalp, conditioner is for the long part of the hair and not the scalp, use your fingers to detangle, wet hair stretches and is prone to breakages. Having long hair you probably know all that anyway...sorry if you already know all that...
Some girls like you can pull off wearing red lipstick unfortunately I am not one of those girls...I always look like I should be wearing a brightly coloured nose to match when I wear red lipstick. I agree I think you have found your colour
Take care
Liz
aw, thanks! so far my kitty has stayed away from the hard stuff. I had a glass tonight while I took a bath and he didn't seem interested in the wine at all, but he did seem very concerned about the bath, he kept standing up and peering in and giving me this worried little meow, it was so cute!
So a couple of things to mention, I'll start off with something positive... my friends finally told their 8 year old daughter about my transition! They said she took it well and asked a couple questions but then got embarrassed and didn't really say anything else lol. She has always adored me, so I knew she would be supportive, I think the biggest concern is being mature about it and keeping it to herself. She's having a birthday party on sunday that I'm going to but her parents and I thought it would be best if I go see her tomorrow so she can get used to seeing me as a woman, it would be weird if her first time seeing me like that was in a room full of people. I'm a little nervous about the party because I know some of my friends' family is a little narrow minded, but others are pretty open and accepting, so we'll see.
speaking of people being narrow minded, I'm pretty damn sick of working with my dad, and it's only been 2 weeks, I forgot just how bad he can be sometimes. I remember over the winter he asked me if I thought he was racist. I didn't answer, but now I definitely have an answer. So with a lot of state funded construction jobs, a certain percentage of the workers have to be a minority, and although they don't say it on paper, they mean a black person. They've used women before for their workers but I guess recently a guy told the company off the record that it's preferred if the minority is black. We actually had a black guy working with us last week and the fired him and replaced him with a white guy the next day, and now they have to hire another black guy, so it was really stupid to fire the other one in the first place. My dad called the union hall and asked if they had a black guy and they called him back and said they found someone we can use, and then my dad asked how he was, and my dad actually asked if the guy used drugs. He would NOT have asked that question if they were sending us a white guy. and then he asked our boss that if this guy doesn't work out he can just call and get a white guy next time. The whole conversation made me sick. Our boss is a big Trump supporter and he just started spewing off all this ignorant stuff about work and how obama was actually trying to keep people from working so he could destroy the country, it was absurd and I just wanted to effing scream but I bit my tongue. I know that the actual owner of the company doesn't think like that, he's a good guy but I guess he hires ignorant people. Only 3 more months of this and then hopefully I'm done with it and can find something new. The money is good and I need to save as much as I can while I'm working. I got my first paycheck this week and it was more than I was expecting. My first couple checks are going to be used to catch up on few things but after that I should be able to get ahead again.
oh and here's something random... So a few times I've had friends send me stuff to my apartment and they wrote my female name on it. It's not my legal name yet and twice my friends have had stuff sent back to them, but other times I've gotten stuff. I was telling my mom about it and she said that when my sister's boyfriend moved into my mom's house they wouldn't deliver mail to him there until his name was on the mailbox. So the other day I put Maddie on the mailbox and then today I got the mail and it was the card that my friend sent to me that got sent back to her, so yay! I don't have to worry about my mail now!
