I get it. I get the hating your female body and all the problems that comes with it.
If you don't like it, do something about it!
Have you gone to a gender therapist yet? It sounds like you need to talk over your anger with a professional. Don't worry, I'm not saying you're crazy or anything like that. Sometimes GD comes out as anger. As long as you don't hurt yourself or anyone else, there's nothing wrong with not liking the body you're stuck inside of.
Don't like having a uterus? Have it removed. Don't like breasts? Have them removed. Have you looked into surgical options yet? Many FTMs have, and have had male parts surgically added. But make sure you
do your research! Have the surgeons do what
you want done, and not what someone suggested for you.
Have you looked into HRT? Testosterone can help you somewhat change your body shape. You sound young. The younger you are when you start T, the more masculine your body should end up, depending on your genes, of course. I'm 56, nearly 57, and even at my age, the changes are pretty drastic. I've gained muscle, my voice has deepened, I've gained body and facial hair and more. sure my hands are still slender, but I've always been told I have sugeon's hands. I don't mind, especially since I was in the medical profession when I worked.
Maybe you should look into transitioning. Its something that sounds like you might need to do. Give it serious consideration, but above all,
its your life. You do what's best for
you. And don't let anyone tell you your thoughts/feelings/etc are wrong. They are
yours, and you are allowed to feel/think/etc whatever fits you.
Good luck!
Ryuichi
