My only real mental/personality changes were that HRT fixed my horrible depression (your mileage may vary), gave me back a full range of emotions after being numb for a couple decades, and slightly improved my sympathy/empathy. It also changed how I experience my sexuality - I'd been attracted to guys since I was a teenager at least, and I'd say that my desires were always more on the feminine side, but they got pushed even further in that direction after being on HRT. It also seemed to exaggerate the already somewhat feminine way I would have flirted or expressed my interest in others (not that I felt very comfortable with doing so before).
Quote from: Devlyn on September 02, 2018, 06:38:55 AM
As someone who drifts between male and female I can tell you they feel different. Putting words to how that feels is difficult. Most of the girls here report a calming effect on starting HRT, a reduction in the "background clutter". I experience a return of that when I am male (a Mike day). 
Hugs, Devlyn
For me, how intensely I feel female varies over time, but seeing more physical changes and being accepted by people that I'm out to has made me feel more and more comfortable with my identity as woman, and now I just treat my situation as having a stable identity, but varying levels of intensity, self awareness, and gender expression. Even if I'm not initially in 'maximum girl mode', having friends and coworkers use my correct name and pronouns can make me feel really, really good, and I can definitely say that 'maximum girl mode' is absolutely fantastic - it's like a total clearing of all brain fog and all doubts and uncertainty of my identity, and being super in tune with myself and the world around me. I certainly wish I felt like that all the time! But even on my less feminine days, I still feel far better than I did without HRT or when I was trying to live as a guy.
Quote from: KruiseMissile on September 02, 2018, 05:28:45 AM
So quick question.. so I have NO idea on how to be a woman. Lol I've lived 28 years full on straight man. Mainly because I didnt want any femininity to show, cuz I didnt want anyone to know lol.
This, right here, is one of the big ones.
I'm not sure how to really explain this, but I've already had what I would describe as female 'instincts' for most of my life. For example, I used to fantasize at a very early age about getting pregnant and being a mom. My early career goals were either grade school science teacher or stay at home mom (I'm guessing that one's not very common among 7-9 year old boys
). I pretty much always sit to pee when at home and have done so since I was young - I never thought about it, or made any conscious choice, it's just what happened if I *wasn't* thinking about it. My parents seemed very confused by that and I was confused that they were confused because it just seemed normal to me. The way that I would want to care for children or be treated in friendships and relationships was a much more traditionally feminine mindset than any of the boys I knew as well.
I also tended to act socially feminine and had a number of more traditionally feminine interests, and people kept bullying me over it, so I got really, really good at hiding them; though sometimes I'd still slip up with reasonably close friends and get comments like 'that was so gay' or 'that was so feminine', and a request to never do it again. I also had a number of times where I had male and female friends who ended up in some frustrated argument because they couldn't understand one another, and I got some pretty surprised responses from both sides when I was able to reasonably explain to the guys how a woman might be feeling about something and why she would respond that way. I wasn't nearly as useful explaining the reverse though - I was familiar with how guys expressed themselves, and their social customs, but I didn't understand how they actually felt, so it was more just providing a little context and minor translation of wording.
There are definitely some behaviors that I need to learn now, especially refining my speech patterns and some other mannerisms, as well as what's socially acceptable to discuss in what contexts, but I already generally have an easy time getting along with women who I'm either out to or who have otherwise known me for some time. Even the ones I'm not out to seem to have no problem talking about feminine health stuff or guys or fashion or whatever else while I'm there, provided I've known them for a while.
I guess the biggest thing for me was just learning to turn down or turn off the massive filter I had on my behavior for so many years, and if you were actively worrying about your femininity showing, it sounds like that might be a big part of this for you as well.
