Lucca,
Those are really great points. I found myself nodding as I read your post.
And, the bathroom thing has enough visibility that it is more a problem now than in a very long time.
I have happily used the women's room for more than 30 years, and had never had a single issue. Until just a few years ago. Today I sure worry a lot more about going potty in TX than I do in CA. I get more "looks" and comments in TX, AZ, NC, and such, these days than I did in those same places 25 years prior. And in places like CA and WA, while I suppose I might get the stink eye, I know I am on the right side of the law, where in those other states, I know it could go either way.
Sort of, I wish we hadn't made a big deal of it a few years back. It really was working, even if we weren't legal.
But, if it was either/or, I would totally choose acceptance of my gender expression at work over almost any bathroom protection.
Kate