Letter for coming out at work...

[Bari Jo]

Well, my date is set.  I'm coming out at work officially on Oct 12.  A meeting has been scheduled and I am one of the items.  I am also not going to be at work that day.  Instead it will be led by HR and my manager.  I do though want to send out an email to be forwarded informing what gender dysphoria is, why I'm taking this tract etc.  I remember reading some great ones a year ago here on Susan's, but now I can't find them.  I think they might be part of personal threads,  can somebody help a girl out with a link please?

Bari Jo

[Bari Jo]

I couldn't find it, so wrote one myself.  I did read a couple from doing google searches for a guide though.  What do you think.  Btw, I'm thinking of doing it socially (on facebook) too.

Dear Colleagues,
I am writing this letter to tell you about a matter that is essentially personal but will result in some changes at work.  Some have already started to notice some changes in my appearance and it being National Coming Out Day, it's a good day to bring it all to the forefront.

I identify as transgender and am undergoing the transition process.  If you saw this coming, that's great!  I didn't try to hide my changes over the past year.  If you didn't notice,  please stick with me.  I'm hoping to help you understand this decision and process has been long coming.  I have had feelings that question my gender identity as long as I can remember.  Imagine what it's like to always have a feeling that something is wrong all the time.

In all likelihood this happened in my formation in the womb with little more than a mix of hormones pointing in a different direction than usual.  The fetal development took hold and gave me a female mind.  No amount of societal, peer pressure, or mental conditioning swayed this.  I kept those feelings hidden for the most part and did my best to make my life function within my male body.   I did have some stumbles, but was always able to contain my need to be me.  As time went on, this discomfort only increased, and a breaking point was reached where I had to choose life and transition or the rather permanent option and lose myself forever.

Soon, I will be changing my legal name to "Bari Jo" which is the original name that my parents planned for me before I was born with male genitalia.  My immediate family and friends call me Bari Jo, and I will be changing my legal name to Bari Jo and my gender designation from male to female.

The transition process includes psychotherapy, hormonal treatments, voice therapy and lots of other treatments. Accordingly, I have been working with my therapists, support groups and doctors, following the Standards of Care that set out treatment guidelines for transgender individuals.

I'm very pleased to be able to take this step toward personal wholeness while staying at company I love and doing a job that is very fulfilling. This change will not affect my ability to do my job. In fact, I may be less distracted when I no longer have two personas to juggle. Also, as I enjoy being myself more, you may find me more enjoyable to be around and work with.

Some of you may not understand the life changes I'm undertaking. I would be happy to answer your questions or direct you to additional information. Some of you may not approve of what I'm doing; that is your right, but please offer the same basic human rights to me that you would expect to receive yourself.

I ask that you call me by my new name "Bari Jo" and use female pronouns (she, her, her's) when referring to me or about me. I know this will take a little time to get used to, and I do expect that people will make mistakes at first. All I ask is that you try to get it right.

Respectfully,

Bari Jo

[Kendra]

Excellent letter! 

Instead of mentioning "male genitalia" I'd use more general terms.  "Assigned male at birth" implies the same, and that's the overall issue you're tackling and taking care of. 

I'd say "If you anticipated this" instead of "If you saw this coming" to avoid an accidental pun for a serious and important topic.

> "Some of you may not approve of what I'm doing; that is your right, but please offer the same basic human rights to me that you would expect to receive yourself."
It's true people have the right to have different or unique beliefs.  But there are reasonable limits to how and where people express that in a business context.  And there's the subtle "you vs. we" thing.  I'd shorten it to:
"Some might not approve of what I'm doing, but please offer the same basic human rights to me that you would expect to receive yourself."

[Donica]

I think what you have is excellent too. I wrote something shorter but very similar for work and FB too. I would go with Kendra's suggestions as well. I would like to add one more suggestion. You should also include in your letter that you would be very happy to answer any questions that anyone may have. As Kendra suggested, "Some might not approve of what I'm doing, but please offer the same basic human rights to me that you would expect to receive yourself.". I won't tell you "Good Luck" because I think you will be pleasantly surprised by the acceptance of your colleagues. In fact, be prepared to answer a lot of questions. This is a good thing.

[Bari Jo]

Thanks, I've amended my letter with your notes and sent to my manager and HR for review.  We are planning for the end of next week!

Bari Jo

[Jin]

Congratulations Bari Jo!
You rock!
You are courageous, beautiful, and considerate of how your choices impact other lives.
You are WOMAN, I hear you roar!