This Spoke To My Soul

[Gabrielle66]

I am a huge fan of the muse of Stevie Nicks. I was listening to the album Other Side Of The Mirror yesterday and that song struck me like never before. It's like she was truly speaking to my feminine self. I hope somebody else finds that this is touching in some way. Love and faith to you all.

Stevie Nicks – Ghosts Lyrics
And the rain was there...
There were many nights...
And a few of them, were all that you had dreamed of
Love was the thing...
And you feel as if someone was following you
But you know you are wrong...
It's just the ghost of what you want to be
And the ghost of the past that you live in

It's just the ghost of what you really want
And it's the ghost of the past that you live in
And it's the ghost of the future you are frightened of
So you look to your guardian angel

So long ago I was an innocent...
It had nothing to do with age
One day they were lovers... One day they were friends
There was nothing else to say

Well just the ghost of what you want to be
And the ghost of the past that you live in
It's the ghost of the future that you're so frightened of
So you turn to your guardian angel

And a few of them were all that you really dreamed of
Love was the thing...
So the silver-haired girl looks for escapism

To feel the empty spaces she's feeling
She depends on her music like a husband
And she knows it's no good to fall in love again...
One day they were lovers... One day they were friends
There was nothing else to say

It's just the ghost of the past of what you want to be
And the ghost of the past that you live in
Ghost of the future that you're so frightened of
So you look to your guardian...

So you look... To your guardian angel
Some of them are here on earth...
Well some of them are way up there in heaven...

So you look... To your guardian angel
Some of them are here on earth...
Some of them are... Way up there in heaven... Heaven...

Gabrielle

[ErinAscending]

Always loved Stevei Nicks!!!  And that is a definitely a song which can speak to the soul. 

I, however, am a die hard Phish fan for the past many years.  "Phishhead" so to speak.  Ha Ha

My wife when feeling accepting of me as I am (happens every so often) and when she can tell I'm in a bad mood will play More cause she knows it makes me cry.  Then she just smiles and says "Hi!  There you are!" and it always makes me feel better.  Validated.

More

Life in slow motion
Feet are in the clay
I'm goin' nowhere
Been standin' here all day

I had a notion
There was somethin' more to do
As I watched the water
From the banks of the river, it swelled and grew

And I tilt to the left
Lean to the right
Tilt to the left
Lean to the right
Walked on coal
And slept on glass
Amid swords of sap
And daggers of light

And my heart is screamin'
'Cause half of what I say is lies
And it takes so much to keep up this disguise
It takes so much to keep up this disguise

I see a doorway in the haze
And I'm tryin' to get to it
The stars are peep holes in a wall
But we can walk thru it

The memory's still so real
The memory's still so real
I guess it's never really over
Even when it's over

I'm vibrating with love and light
Pulsating with love and light
In a world gone mad a world gone mad
There must be something more than this

I'm vibrating with love and light
Pulsating with love and light
In a world gone mad a world gone mad
There must be something more than this

The trumpet call is sounding
The trees are bending low
There's a great fire in the distance
There must be something more than this

And our shadows will all be dancing
With red dust on our clothes
When we leave that tornado
Upwards in the clouds and feel the sky

I'm vibrating with love and light
Pulsating with love and light
In a world gone mad a world gone mad
There must be something more than this
We're vibrating with love and light
Pulsating with love and light
In a world gone mad a world gone mad
There must be something more whoa

And they're vibrating with love and light
Pulsating with love and light
In a world gone mad a world gone mad
There must be something more than this

We're vibrating with love and light
Pulsating with love and light
In a world gone mad a world gone mad
There must be something more

There must be something more than this
There's gotta be something more than this
There must be something more than this
There's gotta be something more than this

There must be something more than this
There's gotta be something more than this
There must be something more than this
There's gotta be something more than this

Don't know why but this song...  And the Boat scene in the movie Moana always result in tears.  /sigh


<3

[Gabrielle66]

I've never heard that song before. That is a very powerful set of lyrics. Stevie and Fleetwood Mac are the actual reason I met my wife. It was way before online dating was a thing. We met through a mailing list devoted to Fleetwood Mac. I guess that makes the song more powerful to me.

I realize that I have put way too much pressure on my wife to accept this reality and just try to keep up with my moves. I desperately want to move forward but every step is like a dagger for my wife. For her good I'm going to have to just dial things back and take much longer to make each step forward. I still have the goal in mind but how long it will take to attain it is going to have to change. I can't break her heart this way. Her pain is killing me at the moment. I can't be the cause of it just because I have had to wait so long to start my journey. The journey has always been there really, I've just been stuck in some kind of rip tide and making no progress. I guess i need to swill parallel to the shore for a bit longer if I don't want to drown. This place is awesome. Thank you all for listening. Love and faith.

Gabrielle

[ErinAscending]

I've never heard that song before. That is a very powerful set of lyrics. Stevie and Fleetwood Mac are the actual reason I met my wife. It was way before online dating was a thing. We met through a mailing list devoted to Fleetwood Mac. I guess that makes the song more powerful to me.

I realize that I have put way too much pressure on my wife to accept this reality and just try to keep up with my moves. I desperately want to move forward but every step is like a dagger for my wife. For her good I'm going to have to just dial things back and take much longer to make each step forward. I still have the goal in mind but how long it will take to attain it is going to have to change. I can't break her heart this way. Her pain is killing me at the moment. I can't be the cause of it just because I have had to wait so long to start my journey. The journey has always been there really, I've just been stuck in some kind of rip tide and making no progress. I guess i need to swill parallel to the shore for a bit longer if I don't want to drown. This place is awesome. Thank you all for listening. Love and faith.

Gabrielle

I came out to my wife 3 months ago and it has been a living hell for all the reasons you wrote.  It really is her going through a grieving process.

I've been feeling like crap for the way she feels about all of this and I haven't been doing anything overt since this whole thing came to light.  There has been a lot of anger, a lot of hurt, a lot of denial, a lot of depression...

Just started seeing some acceptance. (See above post about the song)

I think we are completely disconnected now from the relationship standpoint.  But I'm starting to see my old best friend start to emerge.

We probably aren't going to make it.     But I think we will all be okay despite that.  I'm in wait and see mode right now.

[Gabrielle66]

I came out to my wife 3 months ago and it has been a living hell for all the reasons you wrote.  It really is her going through a grieving process.

I've been feeling like crap for the way she feels about all of this and I haven't been doing anything overt since this whole thing came to light.  There has been a lot of anger, a lot of hurt, a lot of denial, a lot of depression...

Just started seeing some acceptance. (See above post about the song)

I think we are completely disconnected now from the relationship standpoint.  But I'm starting to see my old best friend start to emerge.

We probably aren't going to make it.     But I think we will all be okay despite that.  I'm in wait and see mode right now.

Erin,

I'm so sorry to hear that you fear the worst as well. The truth is that my wife is the only person I've truly loved in my life. I honestly can't even say that I love myself. The relationship that we have shared for 18 years is all that has kept me sane. Feeling the love emanating from her was the energy that kept me going through all of the S@%T that the world threw at us. And it threw a lot! She has never been anything but a loving supporting wonderful wife. Now the disconnect is so wide that I feel no energy at all between us. She is completely reliant on me for support. I have the sole income, she doesn't even drive. How do I help her when I can't help myself. I'm thinking that helping her is just more important to me than helping myself.

Erin, I hope that you and I are both wrong and that our wives will find a way past the pain to some level of understanding. Where they can at least stay and share a new journey with us. I don't think that I can stop my transition forever at this point but I sure can slow the train down. I just know that the trip would be so much more magical if she were with me. Love and faith.

Gabrielle