Help this youngster, in need, please, is HRT the way to go?

[felppro]

Hi girls and boys, I am so pleased I had the chance to find this forum. Thank you for existing and making this comunity <3

I will try to be short although I have lots of things that have been bothering me. First of all, I'll try to explain a little bit of my story before I highlight the problems I have been facing which have been making be pretty depressed.

So, I am a 23 years old gay man (at least this is how I've seen myself) although I am sure I don't feel part of the male community - I have always been effeminate and I used to wear lots of jewelry and female earrings, and I generally feel more comfortable around females.

But my questioning is not about me being trangender or not - as I also like to call myself non-binary. Actually, I don't care about passing as a woman or a man, I really love being between this spectre, I know when people see me they see that I'm not a straight man or I don't look like a cis man, but they also don't see me as a woman, but I don't care much at all.

But since I realized I am losing my hair and that I am going bald things started to get completely different. My mind started to think things that I have never questioned myself about. Losing my hair is something that will make me not only look male, but also make me feel I am not feminine anymore. (I know hair is not related to gender, but for me is so important that I am pretty damaged by the reality of going bald.

So, checking up internet for almost one month, and reading a lot of posts here and on other forums I started to think that I do not want this male hormone to destroy the thing I love the most in me: my long hair. Idk why, but since I got the diagnoses of MPB, I started to hate this male features and being born a male, and it is making me hate my body and my life, and I feel so sad. I don't want to become a "woman", it is not part of my idea - like having surgery, having long breasts or etc - but I also wouldn't care that much.

My derma prescribed me finasteride (a DHT blocker) for hair loss, but I have seen that it is common for finasteride to make the body stimulates testosterone in other to counter-act the loss of DHT and it can lead to huge shedding and  and make me lose my entire hair in a faster pace than without it (and that would be devastating for me) so I was really affraid to take it.

I read that MtF HRT can help with hair loss, thinning and other characteristics of male pattern baldness, so I came up with words like spirolonatone and estrogen (woman hormone) but I know that they are used for transitioning process, and they can be the only way I can save my hair for many years and thick it - I believe, if taken altogether with finasteride - or dudasteride.

I have lots of shedding and I see that my crown is very thin, which can mke me see my scalp, I also have a big receiding on my temples (but not that much).

I would really like to hear your opinions about it, what could I do in this situation? I am thinking of trying low quantities of spironolactone or estrogen (or both) in orther to decrease my testosterone and avoid hyper androgenetic (the name of the body reaction to DHT blocker), but I don't want it to affect my body that much. I could handle face feminalization - I have a triangular shape and I can look very feminine on makeup, as a natural woman face - and I also woudln't care losing or thinning my body hair.

My only concern is to save my hair, but I am too affraid of taking it alone, as I have the possibility of developing hyperandrogenetic. I thought a lot of suicide when I saw the reports, but finding out HRT can lower testosterone and help a lot more with hair loss and quality made me re-evaluate my condition.

I also consider that identity can be fluid, many trans women find themselves transgender later in life, and maybe I might go to this process as well, I don't know... but losing my hair would affect entirely my non-binry characteristic, and maybe block me in the future for even considering myself a transgender woman.

I really need help and I know that this forum is very supportive, so could you give me a light? Could low doses of one - or both - help me to keep and improve my hair without affecting that much my body shape? This is my only hope - I think - as I am poor and I can't afford transplants and other things, and I am also young, so I still have time to save my hair.

Sorry for any grammar mistake, I am not an English speaker, I'm brazillian, so it's difficult to express myself sometimes, and I hope this is the correct section for this thread.

[Sarah1979]

Ok, this being your first post, I'm sure an official greeter will be along as soon as is possible to welcome you officially.
I just wanted to speak to your question first.  I don't know you at all, but may I recommend that you talk to a gender therapist first before you do anything else?  Hormone therapy is very serious territory, and I know you said that you can handle whatever may happen to your body, but you need to be absolutely sure about that because it's having the wrong sex hormones going through our brains that causes most of the gender dysphoria that drives us to transition.  If you are not genuinely transgender, I fear that having estrogen in your brain might actually cause dysphoria itself, and believe me, you do not want that at all.  My recommendation would be to find a therapist experienced in gender issues before you try doing anything further.

[Kendra]

Hello felppro, welcome to Susan's!

I agree with Sarah - seeing a gender therapist would be a good idea if you are able to access one.  It's possible you won't need to transition.  The main thing is to have accurate information to help you make the best long term decision.

You're currently at the age where some individuals find it easier to present as male or female, but the normal aging process makes this more challenging in either direction.  In addition to hair loss from DHT there are other subtle differences that will continue - depends if your primary hormone is testosterone or estradiol.  Some but not all of these changes can be reversed with HRT.  For example testosterone-caused changes to skull shape are permanent or can only be changed later with FFS, and those changes gradually continue quite a few years after puberty.

Since this was your first post I'll add information to help with navigation and site guidelines.

Things that you should read

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When you get a chance, it would be great if you can introduce yourself in the Introductions Forum.

Really great to see you here!

Kendra

[felppro]

Thanks for replying!!

I will introduce myself as soon as I can, nice to meet you all

Unfortunately I don't know if I can find a gender therapist where I live. I will look for it. I was planning to visit an endocrinologist in order to ask for help and explaining of the hormones processes.

As I do not intend to transition entirely, I was asking myself if low doses of testosterone can really help me out in keeping my hair and traits, but considering what Sarah's said about dysphoria, I think it is really important to think twice before doing such things. Although I don't know if dysphoria is a thing with me as I didn't feel like hating my body or such, maybe be ashamed of male traits when I was a child-teenager. But Idk if this applies, I have to look a little bit more about it.

Question my gender identity was always a concern to me, and it came back a lot when I saw my hair falling and receiding as I was trying to make it go longer and longer.

Thanks for your replies, and just another question:

Can spironolactone affect testosterone levels without estradiol? Or I should only consider taking this if I go to fully transition? I will ask the same questions to a specialist... but as you have experience, your opinions mean a lot to me.

Thanks once again <3

[Northern Star Girl]

snipped:

Can spironolactone affect testosterone levels without estradiol? Or I should only consider taking this if I go to fully transition? I will ask the same questions to a specialist... but as you have experience, your opinions mean a lot to me.

Thanks once again <3

@felppro
Dear Felppro
YES, Sironolactone is a T-blocker and will indeed reduce testosterone levels but how much it will reduce T-Levels and the dosage is unique for everyone.  This is important.... there is no ONE safe and effective dosage for everyone.  
As the other members on your thread commented, it is very important that you see gender therapist before you plan an appointed with a Doctor or an Endo to get the professional medical opinion that you really should seek.
Dosages and exact medications are not a one-for-all type of thing...  your doctors will be guided by the results of your physical exam and your blood tests.

Wishing you well,
Danielle

[Northern Star Girl]

@felppro
Dear Felppro
Thank you for your interesting and detailed posting.  Many of our members will now be aware of your arrival to the Forums and will be able to share with you and you with them regarding your questions and comments.

I see that you have already been Officially Welcomed to Susan's Place
by our lovely member @Kendra

Please allow me to also give your a warm Welcome to Susan's Place.
I am thinking that you may have lots more questions and concerns, this is the right place for you to be to find out what others have done that may have been in your circumstances.
Be aware that there are a lot of members here that can identify with your situation..
 
You will find this a safe and friendly place to share with others  and to read about others similar trials, tribulations, and successes.  When frustrated or if you have successes you can share it here on the Forums if you wish and receive support from others and offer support to others. ....

***It's a very good chance that you might find that you will make some new friends here. 
Please come in and continue to be involved at your own pace. 

In her Welcome Message  Kendra  included Important LINKS that will tell you about Susan's Place.  Included there is information about the site that will help you navigate around and best utilize the features here.   
Please look closely at the LINKS in RED, answers are there to many questions that new members ask.   

Please don't be a stranger, we want to share postings and thoughts with you.

Oh and as Kendra suggested, please introduce yourself in the Introductions Forum  when you have some time.

Again, Welcome to Susan's Place.
Danielle

[DustKitten]

I suppose if you're non-binary, it wouldn't matter so much which gender you are/present as, right? So if, overall, you'd rather have female traits than male ones (e.g. going bald) then it wouldn't hurt to consider it. These days some doctors are willing to work with non-binary people to achieve a sort of in-between, so you don't necessarily have to go all the way. Just talk it over with a good therapist first.

[Dani]

To specifically answer your question, Male Pattern Baldness is primarily caused by Dihydrotestosterone (DHT). DHT production can be blocked by drugs such as Finasteride or Duteraside. There are other more expensive drugs available.

Estradiol will help lower your Testosterone levels somewhat and it is Testosterone that get converted into DHT. If transition is not for you, then I would recommend against Estradiol because in a few years you will look very female.

If you have hair thinning at age 23,  you need to do something about it now, because that is a very early age for MPB to start. It will just get worse as time goes on.

[Allison S]

Honestly this is what happened to me before I started medically transitioning about a year ago. Well, my receding hairline started many years ago. It did upset me on occasions I noticed how receded my hairline was getting, but I always could hide it and I still do hide my hairline.

What really struck me was last year at 27, I felt like the skin on my face was becoming dull. I felt like I no longer had that "glow" and I was also growing little hairs on my forehead and longer hairs on my ears... Yeah it was gross. I always hated my body hair, but for some reason these new changes that were happening hit me hard. I think my hair was also thinning on the crown.

Another thing was that I desperately was researching getting an orchiectomy to stop all this. Slowly I realized with estrogen, I can do more than just tolerate myself and my existance... That I can actually like myself.

That's just what I went through but if I could wake up and be cis and content, I would choose that.

Sent from my VS501 using Tapatalk

[Maid Marion]

You need a professional to help you assess the side effects and health risks.

Often, the gender issues are so bad that really big risks are taken, but that is preferable to being totally non-functional.
What may be minor issues to them, like a loss in height, strength, or even the added risk of cancer down the line, may not be so minor to you.

[KathyLauren]

Although I don't know if dysphoria is a thing with me as I didn't feel like hating my body or such, maybe be ashamed of male traits when I was a child-teenager. But Idk if this applies, I have to look a little bit more about it.

Dysphoria does not always manifest as hating one's body.  It can be a dissatisfaction with one's gender role.  It is often experienced as a longing to be the other gender, and a preference for having that gender's shape.  Often, dysphoria is layered, so you are not aware of some of its more subtle manifestations until the more obvious ones have been dealt with.

You definitely want to talk to a professional about HRT.  Self-medication is dangerous.  Talking to a gender therapist will certainly be helpful.