Hello everyone!
I am -so- sorry for never updating this topic, I went through a -lot- since my surgery and I will write all about it. I have had a MAJOR complication, huge ups and downs and now I'll be sharing it all, so strap in this might be a long one.
I will separate everything by weeks.
Week 1 (Oct 3'rd - Oct 10'th)
The week of my hospital stay. I woke up from my surgery, with my very supportive mum by my bedside, I kept telling her "I have a vagina, I have a vagina!", I was extremely happy about it, I also had 0 pain, they were keeping me on some strong stuff so that I'd be comfortable.
What I had in me as I woke up:
- Drainage
- Catheder
- Vaginal packing (So that it doesn't close up)
- Compresses on top
After surgery there are 2 doctors who will be working with you, dr. Marta and dr. Borko, both of whom are very professional and absolutely amazing, dr. Marta in particular is very understanding and kind, she will take your every question and tell you all you need to know. The surgeon (dr. Miro) you will not be seeing very often, he will come see you a couple of times, but you can always email him.
Days 2 and 3 were very scary, I was bleeding excessively. The nurses were very worried about me, while the doctors were using very tight compresses and packaging to stop my bleeding. There was blood going past all the compresses usually ending up on my thighs, which means I had to call the nurse, change all the sheets, make a new compress etc. It was a horror movie scene. I lost a lot of blood and I couldn't get up or stand for I would faint at even the slightest attempt.
On day 3, Dr. Borko came into my room, pulled up the tightest compress I've ever felt in my life, secured it with insane amounts of tape and told me to keep my legs and feet together and literally not move the entire night. Miraculasly, day 4, there was no more blood, it was as if it had "run out". There were very light amounts at times, but not very often, the entire thing just stopped, which was a fantastic relief for me.
Day 5 I managed to stand up, the moment I stood up I felt extreme tightness in my crotch, my vagina felt tight, it felt heavy and I had a feeling as if it was gonna fall off my body. I was reassured that this was normal, I did not attempt walking, so I simply stood up for a minute and laid back down.
Day 6, I managed to have my first walk, I could go brush my teeth by the sink, I was allowed to take a shower if I wanted. It was a very sudden 1-day improvement for I could walk for a period of time even (10-15 min, I walked like a cowboy, think Ariana Grande's song "Side to side", I was the girl in the song) before getting dizzy and having to lay down (I could in no way shape nor form sit down at this point, sitting was -super- uncomfortable).
Day 7 was very nice, for I managed to dress myself (Apart from shoes, I needed help putting those on). I also found out that I'd be going home tomorrow with my boyfriend waiting for me there.
Week 2 (10'th of Oct - 17'th of Oct)
This was the week of recovery at home, I still had my catheder in, the drains were out and I still had my vaginal packing in. The doctors here prefer to keep these in for 2 weeks in order for everything to heal a bit better before you start dilating yourself.
I was in a -lot- of pain, I had gotten Ibuprofen, but it was simply not enough, so I switched to something called "Analgin", I'd take two pills at once every 6-8 hours and thank goodness that kept me comfortable, it took me 2 days to find the pain-medication that worked though.
I could stand / walk briefly, but I'd often get very dizzy, now that I know better, I realise it was because of "Analgin", it messed with my blood-work and my lab results were really bad, which I why I kept feeling like I was gonna faint so often. Luckily I had no nausea or anything alike to that. Admittedly, I was taking "Analgin" on my own terms, with no doctor recommendation, my doctor suggested I try to lower the dosage if I could, once I did my mobility improved. Past that week 2 went smoothly.
Week 3 (17'th of October - 24'th)
The crazy week.
My vaginal packing was out, and I could now dialate. As you know, I got the Vagiwell dilators, my doctor suggested I skip number 1 and go straight for number 2, which I did, I was able to put it in my easily, the entire thing with no paint at all. After a few days, I decided I'd go ahead and switch over to number 3, again I put it in there very easily, the entire dilator, no problems.
Dialation was a good experience for me, with no pain or any set-backs as far as depth. (I am about 17cm deep, I am European so I don't know inches). I would do it 3 times a day for 30 minutes. However I noticed, every time I'd pull my dilator out, it would have some red stuff on it, like dried blood, the stuff smelled like cabbage, almost exactly like it, I didn't think much of it and just kept on with my routine. I'd find out during my next visit that this smelly stuff was an infection.
I had my check-up on the 25'th, there dr. Borko noticed this discharge from my vagina, he didn't like what he saw and decided that he'd like to hospitalise me again, so back to my room I went, I was officially in the hospital again. He scheduled me for a check-up surgery on the 29'th of October. They basically give you a sedative to make you sleep for an hour while they look around your vaginal canal in-depth to see what's up.
Week 4 (24'th of October until 31'th of October)
The insane week.
I had my check-up surgery, the surgeons had found that the vaginal wall of my vagina, made out of penile-inverted skin had gotten infected, but even worse, it went into necrosis, my tissue was dying. The surgeons cut off the dead tissue and I had an open wound inside my vaginal canal, with about 5cm of my original penile skin left (My canal is 17cm).
I was put on an extremely intense antibiotic therapy through IVs and stayed in the hospital for 2 weeks (I was released on the 9'th of November). This was a very difficult time for me, before I go any further, allow me to explain the complication and what happened.
A bacteria that is usually found in human feces entered my vaginal canal, no one knows how, they think it could have been a dilator mis-placed, possibly something else, no one knows. However, even when this happens, this bacteria usually doesn't cause trouble. However, I was the lottery 1% case winner where this thing made an entire mess for me and caused me this enormous complication. Now that we knew what the problem was, it was time to talk solutions.
The first suggestion was to take a skin-graft from my thigh and use it to line my vaginal canal. I'd have a large 10 x 15cm scar on my thigh for the rest of my life, but at least I'd have a vagina. Being a vain creature, this was very difficult on me, I cried my fair share, I'm a gorgeous girl and I didn't wanna have a scar on my thigh but there was nothing I could do about it. I then decided that this scar would be my beacon of femininity, it would be what I had to do in order to become the woman that I am, I attributed to it this very feminist attitute of pride, I accepted it as a would-be part of me and all of a sudden I was now fine.
Few days later, dr. Marta comes to me with a better suggestion, they'd take the skin a bit higher, where the thigh and abdomen meet, around the hip bone, a bit lower. It would be hidden in the panties, no one would know it was there. I was very happy with this new development, I'd have a well-hidden scar and I wouldn't have to sacrifice my legs, brilliant.
However, later past that, dr. Miro and the head of gynocology visited me together. They came up with a new procedure to fix my situation. They would go in, under my abdomen, take the skin from peritoneum and use that to line my vagina. It would be more flexible, and I'd have a scar inside my belly button, with 3 more scars that would look like mere scratches, no skin graft scars and a more elastic vagina, fantastic! This is the solution we settled for in the end.
Weeks 5 and 6 (31'st of October until now)
I stayed in the hospital, recieving therapy until the 9'th of November. I am very mobile at this point, I can walk, I can sit, I can bent my legs every which way. I still take a bit of time walking, I cannot strut with one leg in front of the other yet, but I can deffo feel that I'm getting there.
I do wanna say, the irony of all of this is, while my vaginal canal has a major complication, the outside of my vagina is -gorgeous-, dr. Miro did a Labioplasty on me as well as a Vaginoplasty, he gave me the most gorgeous lips, beautiful clitors and hood, an amazing cosmetic job. I even fooled an ultra-sound specialist into thinking I'm cis, there is barely any swelling by this point, there was never much swelling to begin with and I really do have to give it up to dr. Miro for that, his work on the appearance is outstanding.
So now I am home, I am walking, sitting, doing all of my stuff as per normal. Peeing is feeling good, so I know that part functions. I am visiting my doctors daily, since I stopped dilating (I haven't dilated since I was re-admitted into the hospital), they keep vaginal packing inside of me and they replace it every day to make sure it doesn't get infected, luckily I have lost no depth so far.
My fix-up surgery will be scheduled soon, the doctors and just being extra careful, keeping me on antibiotics and checking my vagina every day to make sure 100% that all infection is gone. I will of course update you guys after my revision as to how it went.
I also had my very first orgasm during week 5, I woke up during a wet dream to a sudden orgasm, which felt great. After that I started experimenting on my own, the first time I tried masturbating, it felt good but I did not hit an orgasm. However, the 2nd time I tried with my boyfriend, I really relaxed, got into that mental state and managed to hit an orgasm caused by my own stimulation rather than a wet dream, which felt really good and reassured me that things were working on the outside at least. All of these orgasms were clitoris based.
A few things I missed during the text that you might be curious about:
- My catheder was out by week 3
- I stopped pain meds after week 3 at the start of week 4 and did not need them since
- Ask anything else you might wanna know below and I'll answer, literally -anything- don't hold back
Ok, hopefully this huge post actually makes sense and is readable... thank you for reading if you read all of that <3
