just a few questions

[J lewis]

So i have a few questions involveing me (MTF trans) and my boyfriend (FTM trans)

1)i really want to go swimming at some point but my boyfriend will only go if he has a one piece suit. However he doesnt want to go put shopping for one and refuses to let me buy one for him. What do i do?

2) a really wired thought came to me for our parts which was is it possible for me to give him my male part and me his female parts?

3) what parts of clothing should i start wareing out in public? Cause i do wanna ware female clothing but not overly female clothing and id like a starting point just so i can try it or get used to it.

4) would i beable to bare children and by extension our children if we froze our gametes and such?

5) are the effects of hrt greater or quicker at a younger age?

6) i find it awkward to tell people im trans so would having a few stickers and badges of the transgender flag help?

I know some of these questions seam wired and im sorry if they are but i cant stop thinking about them.

[Alice (nym)]

There have been times when I've asked myself some of those questions.
1) I think your boyfriend is not comfortable with the idea of going swimming. Have you thought about wild swimming and finding a secluded spot?

2) They did the first womb transplant in the US in December 2017. They are planning the first womb transplant in the UK before the end of 2018. So it is possible but very early days and I don't know enough info to know whether it will be permanent or whether the body will eventually reject the transplant.

3) I am not at that stage yet, but I am aiming at switching my clothing to gender neutral items first... then women's jeans, jumpers that are not overly womanly in terms of design but have a bit of shape in their cut... etc.

4) Depends on how far the advances in womb transplants happen. You will need to take eggs and sperm before HRT. It will be a bigger deal for your boyfriend. You may also need to pay to keep the embryos frozen. They will not be kept indefinitely.

5) From everything I have read in the last 2 weeks, Yes

6) I asked myself the very same question just 2 weeks ago. I said to my wife, there needs to be a symbol that is a little less obvious than the transflag and the current trans symbol that people like myself can wear so that like minded people can recognise us and introduce themselves. Once I am out, it will not be an issue, but trying to keep it under wraps, it would help. I was thinking that something like the symbol for earth would work... between mars and venus (see my signature). Most bigots would think it was a christian symbol, the curious you could explain it means earth, and the people you want to reveal yourself to would be in the know. But then again, how long do secret symbols remain secret. Someone will eventually blab to the press. There is definitely a need for something less obvious than the current symbols used in trans-pride.

[J lewis]

Thank you for this i think it might help. However, its less of he doesnt like swiming, if facted hed love too, its just he wants to ware something that covers most of his body simular to a wet suit.

[MissKatie]

3. Women's jeans are a great start. they ARE a different cut, most dont have pockets and the zipper is usually on the left, not the right.
you can combine that with some plain bracelet and thinner necklace.
For tops you can get a plain female top. they have a slightly different shape to them.
I then progressed to wearing neutral style dresses tucked into female jeans.
shoes can be tricky as the show market caters mostly for women having smaller feet.

there are shops that sell larger female shoes but they can be expensive.
also nothing wrong with a pair of female trainers.

don't think you have to just suddenly throw on a dress and go out

oh and to get used to it. I also recommend wearing a bra and knickers.
sports bras are great for this as there are no clips or wiring.

good luck

[Ryuichi13]

I'm going to answer your questions one at a time.  I hope you don't mind.   

I have not ready anyone else's answers, that way I can give you my unbiased opinion/knowledge.

1)i really want to go swimming at some point but my boyfriend will only go if he has a one piece suit. However he doesnt want to go put shopping for one and refuses to let me buy one for him. What do i do? 

There are websites where he can get a swimming binder.  https://www.gc2b.co/pages/gc2b-binders is one.  This way, he can wear the binder under a t-shirt and a pair of swim trunks, many men do.  I don't think he would want to wear a women's swim suit, that's the only other one piece swimwear I can think of.

2) a really wired thought came to me for our parts which was is it possible for me to give him my male part and me his female parts? 

Doubtful.  You'd have to have an exact DNA match.  Its difficult to find that even in siblings, due to the way DNA mixes even in families. 

3) what parts of clothing should i start wareing out in public? Cause i do wanna ware female clothing but not overly female clothing and id like a starting point just so i can try it or get used to it.

Wear whatever makes you feel comfortable.    If you want to wear jeans and a blouse, do so.  As long as you feel comfortable and mose importantly safe, there's nothing stopping you but you.

4) would i beable to bare children and by extension our children if we froze our gametes and such?

You won't be able to bear/carry children, but he would be able to.  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thomas_Beatie is a man, yet had three kids.

5) are the effects of hrt greater or quicker at a younger age?

The younger you are, the more likely your growth will be for the gender you should have been born.  If your boyfriend hasn't finished growing and goes on testosterone, chances are he'll end up taller than if he's pre-T.  If he's done growing, then his height is probably whatever it is now.  The same for you, if you're on HRT and still growing, your height will be more than likely be whatever is genetic for women in your family.  Everything else, such as facial hair, muscles, and whatnot will more than likely change according to the HRT the two of you go on, despite your age.  Even if you transition late, (like I did, I started transitioning at 54), you will more than likely have your body change.  If your voice has already dropped pre-HRT, then it will not change without vocal training.  If his is still high, pre-HRT, then it will drop once he starts testosterone.  You can see where I'm going with this, right?   

tl:dr Once you're both on HRT, your body will change, according to the hormone/s you're on.

6) i find it awkward to tell people im trans so would having a few stickers and badges of the transgender flag help?

As long as you're safe, there's no reason to hide it.  OR, you don't have to tell anyone outside of your family, your doctor and your school, and even the school is iffy.  Once you change your name and gender legally, if you choose to not tell people (unless you're planning on being intimate with them), you don't have to.  Its called "going stealth."  It's not a bad thing, it simply means that, "unless needed, its not necessary to tell anyone."  I'm sure that cis people don't go around shouting," I"M CIS!" to everyone, why would you need to tell everyone you meet "I"M TRANS!"? 

Or, you could simply get things in the colors of the transgender flag.  I have ADHD, so I have a fidget cube that hangs from my phone case in the transflag colors.  Or, a pin that has the colors on them without the actual flag.

Again, you do what's comfortable and most importantly safest for you.

Hope this helps!  Good luck you two!

Ryuichi

[HappyMoni]

I bought a shirt on line that says, "Cisn't" with pink and blue trim. It is something only trans folk might understand. I will wear it at PRIDE events. I thought about wearing it at my job but decided not to. My reason is that I just want to be accepted as me, a person, a woman. Wearing the shirt says I want attention for that one aspect of me. In the right setting, a place where it is appropriate to focus on that one aspect, I will wear it with pride. It might be very good for someone who wants their secret out to some extent.
Moni

[steph2.0]

I bought a shirt on line that says, "Cisn't" with pink and blue trim. It is something only trans folk might understand. I will wear it at PRIDE events. I thought about wearing it at my job but decided not to. My reason is that I just want to be accepted as me, a person, a woman. Wearing the shirt says I want attention for that one aspect of me. In the right setting, a place where it is appropriate to focus on that one aspect, I will wear it with pride. It might be very good for someone who wants their secret out to some extent.
Moni

That sounds really cool! Yes, wear it with pride. I will probably take part in my first pride event in Orlando in October. Doing that kind of thing never really appealed to me, but a friend of mine is organizing it and I want to support her and the rest of the community that's been so good to me.

I may have to look for one of those shirts...

Stephanie

[SeptagonScars]

1)i really want to go swimming at some point but my boyfriend will only go if he has a one piece suit. However he doesnt want to go put shopping for one and refuses to let me buy one for him. What do i do?
- Have you considered online shopping? That's how I got my swimsuit and it works great. I'm detransitioning and buying a women's swimsuit for the first time in over a decade felt too embarrassing for me to manage in an irl store, so I went to a webshop instead, and that worked great.
If you by "one piece" mean women's swimsuit, I get that might be dysphoria inducing for him. However there are sporty kinds of one piece suits that both men and women wear. Like the surfer kind. That could work.

2) a really wired thought came to me for our parts which was is it possible for me to give him my male part and me his female parts?
- No, medical science has not come quite that far yet. Transplants is very complicated and risky, and then there's the risk of rejection, etc. It seems likely it could be in the future for mtf's, but likely not anytime soon for ftm's.

3) what parts of clothing should i start wareing out in public? Cause i do wanna ware female clothing but not overly female clothing and id like a starting point just so i can try it or get used to it.
- I'd say looking at neutral-looking shirts and pants in the women's section could be a good start. Jeans, t-shirts, cardigans, even hoodies. Sneakers and low-heel boots work fine for both genders. As for jackets, I've found that trenchcoats are a good neutral option that look great on both men and women. The waist strap can create a slightly more fem look to it. Parkas is also a great option. As for a lighter option, you can never fail with a leather or denim jacket.

4) would i beable to bare children and by extension our children if we froze our gametes and such?
- You can freeze gametes and use for later, yes. You won't be able to bear children but your boyfriend could. You could also use a surrogate with both yours and his gametes, if he wouldn't be comfortable with that.

5) are the effects of hrt greater or quicker at a younger age?
- If you're very young (under 20-ish) then yes hrt can have a greater effect, cause of not having finished growing yet. Otherwise, it's kinda uncertain if age has an impact on hrt effects. Your genes is the biggest factor to what changes you get and to what degree.

6) i find it awkward to tell people im trans so would having a few stickers and badges of the transgender flag help?
- What I found worked best for me was to keep it simple and be direct. Practice which words and phrases you'd be alright using to describe your situation, and know what things you'd be okay sharing and what's off limits. And come out first to the people you feel the safest with. I don't think most (cis) people understand what the trans flag means, so I'm not sure it would be of much help, unless you'd be okay with explaining what it means to people.