Ok, so I've had about 90% of my trans friends be FtM. (talk about a sausage fest! lol see why I need more girls in my life?
(If any of you are browsing I adore you, but I need some balance, and you should be helping with this topic! lol)
Your experience is always useful, Sarah, and you have some great points, and I was no way trying to take away from that. I just think male stuff for my generation is much more fluid these days, especially outside of the USA.
Hopefully between all our collective posts we'll be able able to cover a bit for everyone, from all walks and places!
So, I'll add some rules I think work well and my friends have done with great success.
1. The Tough Persona -Typically, the one who puts on the most airs or tries the hardest to seem tough or unaffected by things, is usually seen as the weakest one. There's a difference between being cool and being a braggart or troll, and guys tend to not like much someone who is overboard and find it annoying. Undercutting things or understating them a bit is definitely considered masculine, and guys tend to use less words to share feelings and such things. A long running tradition I think is still valid, is that guys are more about action than talk. The more you are just relaxed and cool, but take positive action towards something when it needs it, the more guys will tend to respect you.
2. Sharing Feelings - Guys these days are more sharing in their feelings, but it's obviously a bit different from women. Guys tend to say less, and summarize a bit, as previously mentioned, and sometimes understate things a bit, though males around them tend to understand by their mannerisms. Some guys will really open up and rant together even, though. When guys are feeling hurt or overly emotional, it's common for them to look away or straight ahead rather than at the person they're talking to more often than usual if that's a trait they have. Guys usually don't say much with guys ssometimes, but will sit or hang with them and listen, as if they don't know what to say, they will usually try to find it first and have a think. Offer feedback and attention that you're listening and thinking, but keep it simple until they've finished completely, and only when it seems like it's a good place to acknowledge.
3. Kind Greetings and Behaviors - Guys who greet good friends or people they're friendly with commonly do a firm hand shake, often followed by a pull-in for a quick half hug. A good firm (but not aggressive) shoulder grab or light slap on the side of the top of the arm and a smile works as well. (This will vary per country) For more casual people, this is usually just a verbal greeting, and a fist pound sometimes or something similar and quicker in contact.
4. Talking! - Talk less, but listen more. I cannot stress enough that summarizing but effectively saying what you want in less words is an excellent trait, so you will see a little repetition. Definitely be engaging in listening and hanging out, but be more
chill, and think more before responding. Just be cool as mentioned.
5. Walking and facing - Guys typically don't walk super close to each other unless they're up to something or into each other
, but they do turn a bit to face each other and talk, though not all the way, especially when moving. Typically though, this will be much less than girls. Not always, of course, but you'll see it happen.
6. An obvious classic that is already mentioned very validly, is that some guys tend to gestate (use their hands) less in conversation, unless it's really passionate and their imitating something. Still, definitely not the same as girly movements, and if its basic gestation, it is typically lower than girls.
7. Responding to Abrasive Guy Talk - I know you have testosterone flowing through your veins but play it cool. The cool thing to do is keep your composure and confidence but not let people get under your skin. If it escalates, don't do the stupid chest puffy yelling thing, it just makes you look weak and all talk. Just stand firm with a sarcastic slight smile and show you're ready. If you respond, just be cool and say something calmly like 'Well, I'm right here, and all you're doing is talking, so.' The quieter and confident cool guy is seen as the realer and tougher one. The more you act unarrogant, but like you have nothing to prove, the better and more masculine you'll come across.
That's all I can think of as a few basic things for now, but I'll controbute more later if I think of anything. Hope this helps!