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Validated at band practice

Started by Jennifer M, October 15, 2018, 08:12:52 PM

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Jennifer M

A small local band is one of only three places I am "out" on a regular basis (the others are my hairdresser and the salon where I get waxing done). I explained myself to them last spring and am making every effort to attend practices as Jennifer. It's a short commute and only an hour practice, so I'm fine as long as I don't have to go to the bathroom. (Concerts, for now, are a different story.) Things have gone about as well as they possibly could here.

Tonight, as with all the practices, I spent time thinking about my outfit. I wore a dusky rose top with lace bell sleeves, dark jeggings, and tall brown boots with a 2 1/2-inch wedge, plus clip-on earrings and a large-ish necklace. I also have a homemade name badge that says "Hello my name is Jennifer" for a little assist.

The following happened:

  • The director said "Good to see you back, Jennifer" after I missed last week
  • When passing out music, the woman next to me said "Thank you sir" but then corrected herself
  • On the dues sheet, I'm listed as "[lastname], Jennifer" and I didn't ask for that at all! SQUEEEE!!

The e-mail on the dues list is still my male name and for the moment that can't be helped. But when I saw my femme name on the list my heart leaped.


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Maid Marion

Yes, it is great to be accepted as you are!
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Northern Star Girl

Quote from: Jennifer M on October 15, 2018, 08:12:52 PM
A small local band is one of only three places I am "out" on a regular basis (the others are my hairdresser and the salon where I get waxing done). I explained myself to them last spring and am making every effort to attend practices as Jennifer. It's a short commute and only an hour practice, so I'm fine as long as I don't have to go to the bathroom. (Concerts, for now, are a different story.) Things have gone about as well as they possibly could here.

Tonight, as with all the practices, I spent time thinking about my outfit. I wore a dusky rose top with lace bell sleeves, dark jeggings, and tall brown boots with a 2 1/2-inch wedge, plus clip-on earrings and a large-ish necklace. I also have a homemade name badge that says "Hello my name is Jennifer" for a little assist.

The following happened:

  • The director said "Good to see you back, Jennifer" after I missed last week
  • When passing out music, the woman next to me said "Thank you sir" but then corrected herself
  • On the dues sheet, I'm listed as "[lastname], Jennifer" and I didn't ask for that at all! SQUEEEE!!

The e-mail on the dues list is still my male name and for the moment that can't be helped. But when I saw my femme name on the list my heart leaped.[/size]

@Jennifer M
Dear Jennifer:
WOW, except for a minor mis-gendering and her quick self-correction, this is all very good news.
I will be looking forward to reading more of your transition progress postings as you feel free to share them.

Thank you for posting and allowing your followers to rejoice over your good news with you.

Best wishes,
Danielle
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Lacy

Jennifer,
Seeing your real name printed out by someone else is one of the most exciting, validating things to experience!

It seems like you can look forward to more support and growth with your band!

I agree with Danielle, I would love to keep hearing updates on your journey!

Lacy

Sent from my SM-G950U using Tapatalk
She believed she could so she did!

The continuing story of my new life!



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Jennifer M

Thank all of you for your replies. Perhaps I will have my own epic thread, eventually.

The experience was way better than a few months ago when I was at [retail chain redacted] en femme, including skirt, and I got told, "She can help you over here, sir."


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Kendra

Jennifer this is so cool to read - progress in so many ways.  And having completed many things including surgeries I've found the most important thing is our state of mind. 

Before I transitioned full time, had longer hair and permanently misplaced my beard shadow (yay!) I had quite a few people ask at Starbucks etc "are you in a band?"  I enjoyed being able to answer "actually, yes I am." 

I am not a fan of stereotypes but I think this is how many people acknowledge those who don't fit traditional gender roles tend to be more creative and artistic.  I think over time as society starts to understand what we are accomplishing, add the term ambitious to the stereotype.  Looking forward to that day. 
Assigned male at birth 1963.  Decided I wanted to be a girl in 1971.  Laser 2014-16, electrolysis 2015-17, HRT 7/2017, GCS 1/2018, VFS 3/2018, FFS 5/2018, Labiaplasty & BA 7/2018. 
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Jennifer M

More good news here:

We are getting new band shirts. The band members are voting on a design with orders to come.

I was listed as Jennifer on the voting list AND on the order form for ladies' shirts.  ;D ;D

I am feeling incredibly validated at the moment. (But ordering was put on hold because someone said this company is known for running women's sizes very small and some wanted samples.)


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JanePlain

Quote from: Jennifer M on January 14, 2019, 08:39:12 PM
More good news here:

We are getting new band shirts. The band members are voting on a design with orders to come.

I was listed as Jennifer on the voting list AND on the order form for ladies' shirts.  ;D ;D

I am feeling incredibly validated at the moment. (But ordering was put on hold because someone said this company is known for running women's sizes very small and some wanted samples.)

That is super cool!   The band I'm in all sort or shut down (for decades) while raising kids / marriage and so on.  I have to admit I envy you so much for them being so in tune with the new you! 
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Lacy

Quote from: Jennifer M on January 14, 2019, 08:39:12 PM
More good news here:

We are getting new band shirts. The band members are voting on a design with orders to come.

I was listed as Jennifer on the voting list AND on the order form for ladies' shirts.  ;D ;D

I am feeling incredibly validated at the moment. (But ordering was put on hold because someone said this company is known for running women's sizes very small and some wanted samples.)

How exciting! Getting samples will be beneficial! You will be able to ensure you get the correct size, as women's cloths are usually not as easy to cross reference sizes.
This makes me so happy to read that you are being taught by a teacher who is showing you the sort of kindness and humanity that I wish more people would do!

Lacy
She believed she could so she did!

The continuing story of my new life!



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