My girlfriend wants to have sex one last time befor operation

[Vinya]

To explain the title a bit more: my girlefriend have not explisitly said that she wants to but implicitly she have hinted to that she wants to have penetrativ sex once before my operation. I have explained to her before how traumatic that was for me when I in my youth tried to have penetrativ sex. I would feel the same now, just thinking about it makes me cry and puke from an anxyety attack. It is hard for me even to write about this feeling and make it joustice... Have anyone else had this happen how did you handle it?

[Arianna Valentine]

To explain the title a bit more: my girlefriend have not explisitly said that she wants to but implicitly she have hinted to that she wants to have penetrativ sex once before my operation. I have explained to her before how traumatic that was for me when I in my youth tried to have penetrativ sex. I would feel the same now, just thinking about it makes me cry and puke from an anxyety attack. It is hard for me even to write about this feeling and make it joustice... Have anyone else had this happen how did you handle it?

I am so sorry that you feel the way you do about penetrative sex and it's not easy that you feel like you were born in the wrong body my ex my ex wanted penetration sex as well even though I'm not anywhere near starting surgery I think that the best thing you can do is to really sit down and talk to your girlfriend if she loves you cares about you and supports your decision then you just found the best woman in the world but at the same time I do understand how she is feeling maybe perhaps ask her about using a toy with her instead that would ease your mind a little bit and make you more a little bit more comfortable and it would give her what she desires as well but seriously sit her down and talk with her about it

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[IAmM]

If you can't, you can't. It sounds like you have been up front about how you feel. I never could penetrate either and ended up spending my life alone. It still causes problems with the guys I have been with since I have started to transition, not penetration but them wanting to take care of me there. Since no one wants to have sex with a girl that's crying it has never happened more than once and there have only been two and hopefully I will be with my current boyfriend until I have my surgery. For me it is not an option, it has never been an option and it never will be. They have the rest of me they can do whatever they want with, leave that alone. It is not quite the same, they never wanted to just wanted to take care of me and it never effected our sex life.

You want to make her happy and take care of her needs but some things can make the relationship worse not better. I have been there, with men and boys before I was 13 and with girls from then until I was 18 and decided I was never even going to try to be with a girl again, giving in when it carries that much potential for pain was never worth it. Being pressured into something sexual that you don't want to do is not that unusual in relationships, and I do not make a big deal about it usually but there are limitations and both should know and respect what they are.

[Michelle G]

It's been over 17yrs since I've had sex and does not bother me at all, my wonderful spouse seems to be just fine with it and she admitted a long time ago she just isn't into it anyway.
We get along perfectly and she is my biggest protector and best friend 😊

[nikki9402]

To explain the title a bit more: my girlefriend have not explisitly said that she wants to but implicitly she have hinted to that she wants to have penetrativ sex once before my operation. I have explained to her before how traumatic that was for me when I in my youth tried to have penetrativ sex. I would feel the same now, just thinking about it makes me cry and puke from an anxyety attack. It is hard for me even to write about this feeling and make it joustice... Have anyone else had this happen how did you handle it?

I am so sorry to hear about this, and i understand your feelings so well

I really do hope that you'll see that staying true to yourself is of utmost importance in this stage your transition. As someone who is currently transitioning herself, i can't help but relate to your feelings. Stay strong <3

[Jessica]

@nikki9402

I am so sorry to hear about this, and i understand your feelings so well

I really do hope that you'll see that staying true to yourself is of utmost importance in this stage your transition. As someone who is currently transitioning herself, i can't help but relate to your feelings. Stay strong <3

Hi Nikki 🙋‍♀️ Welcome to Susan's Place!  I'm Jessica.
Thank you for sharing.  The more we reach out to each other, the more we help one another.

I see you're new here, so I'll post some links that may help you get better acquainted with the site. Pay attention to the site rules they can be of great help and don't forget the link highlighted red.  It has answers to questions that are commonly asked.  Then join in on a topic you find interesting and learn and share.

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[Arianna Valentine]

I am so sorry to hear about this, and i understand your feelings so well

I really do hope that you'll see that staying true to yourself is of utmost importance in this stage your transition. As someone who is currently transitioning herself, i can't help but relate to your feelings. Stay strong <3

I'm not trying to hijack the thread but I did want to say Nikki welcome to the family

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[Northern Star Girl]

@nikki9402 
Dear Nikki:
I want to  thank you for recently joining Susan's Place and coming here to share information about yourself in your post.. 
Also, please know that you are always welcome here.  Many of our members will now be aware of your arrival to the Forums and will be able to share with you, and you with them regarding your questions and comments.

I see that you have already been Officially Welcomed to Susan's Place
by our lovely member  @Jessica  ...
 
Please also allow me to also give your a warm Welcome to Susan's Place.
I am thinking that you may have a lot more questions and concerns, this is the right place for you to be to find out what others have done that may have been in your circumstances.  Be aware that there are many members here that can identify with your concerns and questions.
 
You will find this a safe and friendly place to share with others  and to read about others similar trials, tribulations, and successes.  When frustrated or if you have successes you can share it here on the Forums if you wish and receive support from others and offer support to others. ....

***It's a very good chance that you might find that you will make some new friends here. 
Please come in and continue to be involved at your own pace. 

In her Welcome Message  Jessica included Important LINKS that will tell you about Susan's Place.  Included there is information about the site that will help you navigate around and best utilize the features here.   
Please look closely at the LINKS in RED, answers are there to many questions that new members ask.   

Please don't be a stranger, we want to share postings and thoughts with you.

Again, Welcome to Susan's Place.
Danielle

NOTE: Per Jessica's suggestion please be sure to go to the Introductions Forum to tell more members about yourself.