Being More Proper

[Gabrielle66]

So, I have this personal issue with profanity. I use it like those words were typical nouns and adjectives. Have any of you found a way to curb your foul mouth to become a more proper and gentile lady? I'm trying to be more conscientious but it is really a struggle. I really want to rid myself of the use of profanity. Love and faith.

Gabrielle

[Rachel]

Hi,

I am trying to eliminate profanity too. It is difficult. I am struggling.

Something to think about. Where I work I only use profanity in certain locations and under certain circumstances. So, if I can limit my use of profanity everywhere else then I can eliminate it entirely, if I want to.

[Sinclair]

So, I have this personal issue with profanity. I use it like those words were typical nouns and adjectives. Have any of you found a way to curb your foul mouth to become a more proper and gentile lady? I'm trying to be more conscientious but it is really a struggle. I really want to rid myself of the use of profanity. Love and faith.

Gabrielle

Great topic. I have also been trying to moderate my language. One thing way out of left field that has recently helped me was binge watching Match Game from the 70s. I picked up the phrase from Brett Somers "good gravy Marie!" She uses this phrase all the time when frustrated. No idea what it means, but I use it at work to replace a phrase like W-T-F and it's fun for me to say it as no one knows what the heck I'm saying, and because of that they pay more attention than if I used the "F" word phrase.

I think the key is to find alternative words and phrases that have meaning for you. I'm a big Sci-Fi fan and picked up the the word(s) "frak" and fraking" from the Battle Star Galactica (BSG) reboot.

Both of these things have meaning for me as I adore the old 70s cast of Match Game and loved the BSG reboot in the early 2000s. So, it's satisfying for me to use these alternatives.

Side note: Charles Nelson Reilly of the old Match Game is a bit of a hero to me as he often wore female sweaters, tops, necklaces and scarfs on the set, which was a big deal for 70s TV.

[CarlyMcx]

My profanity use operates in inverse relation to my blood estrogen level.

[Maria2018]

I think a lot of it is cultural, and to do with the people around you as much as anything. My ex is Irish and curses like a sailor, because over there it's no big deal. When we visited her family they were all the same. We talked about it once, and there were things that I would never say in front of my parents, for example, that apparently they could have said in school without anyone so much as raising an eyebrow.

[Gabrielle66]

In reality I suppose it all boils down to self discipline. If you want to change you will. I find that I am just ashamed of myself for continuing to use profanity so liberally. It's time to put the barrio in the past and move on. I'm determined to be a lady not a trollop. Love and faith.

Gabrielle

[warlockmaker]

I was raised in a family where no one used profanity, raised in a country where only the most uneducated use it. For me, profanity represents an uncontrolled anger and a general lack of vocabulary. In many Asian countries use of profanity in against the law if directed at an individual. I understand that in America the use of words considered profane is part of the culture and may no be a profanity, as such,  but only as descriptive adjectives. True profanity when uttered is designed to antagonize, abuse and threaten and hate. If its against the law you will soon learn to restrain the use.

[Alice (nym)]

I am sorry it is not a problem I suffer from  ... lol. It is one of the reasons why everyone assumed I was genuinely female in the MMORPG world. I type/chat too much instead of playing the game, I don't swear, and I worry about everyone.

So good luck with the swearing... I heard a bar of soap works well - lol 

love
Alice

ok, that's not quite true... I will on a very rare occasion use profanity for comedy value... but it is rare.

[Dena]

My father ran a construction crew where profanity was pretty common. When somebody did something stupid, he would cuss them out with liberal qualities of profanity. One day he realized he was doing it and decided he was better than that and decided to replace the foul language with a better choice of words. The first time he did it, after the words were said, the victim went to the others and said my father must have been real mad because he didn't say a single cuss word.

Always helps to keep them off balance.

[ErinAscending]

I have honestly had a real problem with this in therapy.  I cant stop (emotion being prominent therein) cussing up a storm when trying desperately to articulate what is really going on in my head.  It always makes me feel awkward as I simultaneously feel that it isn't "ladylike" and then realize one of the most womanish women I know uses profanity regularly when emotional...  That being my mother-in-law. 

Still, I just try to curb it conciously and then remember that I dont really need to and that in itself makes me feel like I at least care how how it seems and thus is automatically more femme by relation to the fact I'm actually concerned about it in the first place.  Ha Ha.

Sounds stupid I guess...  But thats how it works in my head.

[KathyLauren]

I grew up in a family where profanity was not allowed.  (Except for my father.  It was "Do as I say, not as I do." )  But then I joined the Air Force, and learned to curse like a sailor.  I toned it down considerably when I returned to civilian life.

Now, my profanity is situational.  When it is appropriate, i.e. in company that accepts such language and when discussing certain politicians, I can still turn the air blue.  But when out in public, I am the perfect lady.

[Kirsteneklund7]

 Profanity definately has its place. In Australia as in other english speaking countries it can be used to put people at ease - to remove formality & pretentiousness. 

Its use in day to day family context or normal conversation with acquaintances requires a large dose of discretion.

The best use of profanity always involves animated body language & poetic or lyrical delivery. This provides entertainment & puts a point across in a persuasive manner.

I aspire to be better at swearing!

A lady always alludes to filth but always holds off on the raw punch line.

One of my nick names is Cupid Stunt!
 
Hugs Kirsten.

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[HappyMoni]

Back when I was the guy in that there classic nuclear family, I held my own cursing. One day my sons were asked who cursed more, Mom or 'Dad?'  They said, Mom cursed more, but it might nothing. They said when I cursed, it was "meant" and was on the scarier side. So, when I transitioned, I lost the anger and decided to let go of it's companion, cursing. I rarely do it now. I look at young women who curse every other word and think, "What are you trying to prove? How macho you are? You sound ridiculous."

The paradox of cursing (big into paradoxes today) is I think it is used in speech to obtain a bit of power or emphasis, used too often and it diminishes your power, your credibility.

[ChrissyRyan]

To modify a sportswear brand's tag line,

Just Don't Do It!

[Lynne]

Oh yeah... I remember that there was a time in my childhood when profanity made us feel very cool and our language has so many possibilities when it comes to swearing... Even 20 years later I sometimes slip up and swear a little more than what I consider acceptable. For the last 7 years I'm consciously trying to express myself without swearing, not just because of my transition. Sometimes it's hard but it's been getting better over the years, so there is hope.

[TonyaW]

The paradox of cursing (big into paradoxes today) is I think it is used in speech to obtain a bit of power or emphasis, used too often and it diminishes your power, your credibility.

True.  A well dropped f-bomb can be effective but  totally lowers credibility when used as a descriptor for every noun and verb.

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