Well, first... suicidal thoughts are somewhat common. They need professional help, that should be first and foremost. As for FFS, it's covered on some health plans. The trick is getting it coded as medical necessity. That part gets a bit creative when working with your health care provider and surgeon's office. There is quite a bit that can be done in the absence of surgery. Hair style, make-up, and so forth... not knowing where her problem areas are, it's difficult to suggest. However, she could get a few suggestions from a friend or local beauty college on a budget. Sephora offers classes for trans women. Clothing has pretty much been covered... thrift stores or hand me downs if a friend wears a similar size. Hair removal is expensive, I used a razor to solve that problem until I could afford it. It worked for years. The best encouragement you can give is to let her know that you think she's beautiful, inside and out. As for changes, they are gradual and in a few years her fears of passing will fade as hormones work their magic. I am 3 years in and don't really pass without make-up... but I tell myself that progress is progress... and I remind myself that it's only going to get better. I am still "new" in transition at 3 years. Hormones are slow and steady. I look back at my photos 3 years ago and I see subtle changes. It keeps me motivated to move forward.
Don't let her get overwhelmed with fixing everything all at once. Take it one step at a time... keep her momentum going. An article of clothing once in a while to build a closet, some makeup and practice until she's a pro, then work on voice, all the while working towards surgeries. Even as slow as it seems, you can stay very busy getting the simple things down, and before you know it... you've saved enough for surgery by the time you've got all the basics down. Even baby steps are progress.
