What should I expect in terms of Timeline?

[Dana Thompson]

Thanks Ashley love you too   

Dana -  I'm temporarily hijacking your topic but with a purpose.  Ashley was my first transgender mentor.  She was an enormous help to me when I began this journey and remains a friend.  The reason I single her out is that we have walked this path in different ways.

Ashley has had many surgeries and looks amazing.  Additionally she works very hard to keep herself in shape with exercise and lives a very healthy life.  On the other hand I could lose some weight and have not had any FFS or BA.

What we share though is how we view this life and this experience.  Moving forward with any surgeries is certainly a good thing and can lead to happiness.  Also you can feel like your body 'fits'.  Ashley once told me that her body is a vessel to live this life and she chose how to shape it.  That is a great way to look at it.

Here is where the rubber hits the road.  FFS should not be so you can 'hide' being transgender IMHO.  It should be to make you feel good about your 'vessel' as Ashley put it.  Wanting to hide that you are transgender is - IMHO - because you have not accepted yourself as being transgender.

My point regarding FFS is to do it for emotionally healthy reasons.  Not to hide. 

Ashley can easily pass - she is beautiful.  I pass sometimes but many times I don't but it really shouldn't matter.  Being OK with who you are is what matters.  Even though Ashley passes she does not hide being transgender.  She doesn't walk around wearing a sign but she interacts regularly with the public.  ( I will skip details to respect her privacy ) 

But to conclude my point - FFS is to make you feel good but not to help you hide.  You shouldn't want to hide if it is because you are embarrassed about who you are because there is nothing to be embarrassed about and if anyone is then I direct them to my signature line.

Wise words for sure. I do feel similarly to Ashley. We only have one body and we owe it to ourselves to treat it well. Part of my dysphoria around my face is that I do work very hard to be fit and to work on my body. I can make real changes in my fitness level and weight if I'm disciplined. I can't really do anything about my face tho.

I will work on accepting myself for who I am. Thanks for your advice.


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