Do you keep track of "MileStones" or "Hurdles Passed" in your transition?

[Lexi Nexi]

When I needed a place to cry, laugh and learn Susans was the only place I felt safe...the people on this board accepted me unconditionally and listened to my whining but also shared my joys and my accomplishments. I want to return that generosity of spirit to others as my way of saying thankyou 

That's so kind! I had a rough start on this board because I didn't read the rules donated money asked for it back got kicked off they let me back on and I made a bigger donation. These boards do help at first when you have questions I got to a LGBT doctor with trans care and I still referred to these boards its just such a grey area

[krobinson103]

That's what I'm finding its seems less and less like "transitioning" and just living life as a transgirl. I still have my family call me by my male name unless we are out in public because it seems weird to have them say that on days where I'm not feeling trans and not living up to the part. I guess that's what gets me it seems to take effort everyday. My dysphoria is body hair and I refuse to dress more then boxers and a t shirt if I'm starting to grow facial hair. I could only handle one laser treatment so sounds silly but I think being a she being called a she or anything like that and having even a 5'oclock shadow is totally disgusting. Luckily the hormones make it so you wont have a 5oclock shadow as long as you shave first thing every morning. I couldn't imagine waking up next to a guy in the morning and have him lean over to kiss and have his stubble grind on yours. As a former straight guy that would be just about my #1 turnoff before maybe throwing up hungover.

What little stubble I have these days (year and a half of laser) is somewhat useful and my gf likes it lol. I do of course shave every 2-3 days just cause I don't like the feel of it.

[krobinson103]

GCS then voice surgery, what are you doing here? You're cis!!! Congrats. I have a feeling I will always be trans don't know why maybe just because I only need to be feminine and on HRT not necessarily fully female More unique like a unicorn.

I agree. After orchi I more and more accept that I don't care what genitals I have so long as the t is gone.

[Lexi Nexi]

What little stubble I have these days (year and a half of laser) is somewhat useful and my gf likes it lol. I do of course shave every 2-3 days just cause I don't like the feel of it.

You say 1.5 years of laser do you mean you go once a month and pay the ~200(USD so math)per visit and endure the pain? My first experience with laser was very bad, they didn't tell me it was going to hurt the girl was in a rush and not very sensitive trans people (making a remark I couldn't get the female price because I was "female right now" errrrgh.I kept telling her to slow down and as soon as I was done the sentence she was back rushing it again. I heard that possibly they could have turned  the laser down, used a pre treatment of numbing cream or done something to make it bearable. I have a very high pain tolerance(I can get my cavities filled without nova cane) I had one session on my upper back and it hurt but I was able to talk and tolerate it no problem, That was before HRT and that one treatment is as smooth as a baby's bottom so really I didn't need laser except on the face and upper chest. My facial hair is light brown, but not blonde like my body hair and is very thin from the HRT, so maybe with a "lower setting if that exists" pre applied pain cream going slowly and the factor my facial hair is way thinner might make it tolerable? Why are you having so many sessions? That's like 18 and still counting what is your facial hair like or overall hairiness if you don't mind me asking? Did the HRT not help with you hair much? It made most of my body hair go away like lower back and now its completely blonde grows very sparse and slowly. Even my face is real thin lightly colored and a five oclock shadow takes 24 hours instead of 8. I just want it on my upper chest (just for convivence, since all my other body hair is in the range of a less hairy girl.


How do you manage the pain? Why so many treatments where you dark haired and of a nationality that like greek or Italian?


Body hair is my dysphoria and if I never had to shave my chest or face I would be 85% done my transition. I refule to wear make up and dress more then a tshirt or girls clothes if my face isn't perfectly smooth. That would be so great just rolling out of bed and already in girl mode. I just couldn't take the pain. I tried taking strong RX pain meds that I take for my disability and only helped a little, if the had nitrous I could tolerate it all day long and would get it done just for fun!!! Well almost, but I know I could handle on nitrous because second to the pain is I have BAD PTSD from the smell of burning hair and flesh from the time I almost died of a gun shot wound so LHRT is really bad. Maybe the doc could prescribe a valium? But getting controlled meds is so hard these days. I have hard time getting them when I have to go to the hospital and I have 5 year of perfect tract record prescribed through a pain specialist, and I'm already dependent so its not like they have to worry about my getting hooked, I already am! And how do you afford them? Im guessing you need this on other areas too? Being trans is torture the public needs to realize how tough us girls are, I couldn't see them going through this voluntarily and paying out of pocket just so we are not ostracized by ahole homophobes!!!

[krobinson103]

You say 1.5 years of laser do you mean you go once a month and pay the ~200(USD so math)per visit and endure the pain? My first experience with laser was very bad, they didn't tell me it was going to hurt the girl was in a rush and not very sensitive trans people (making a remark I couldn't get the female price because I was "female right now" errrrgh.I kept telling her to slow down and as soon as I was done the sentence she was back rushing it again. I heard that possibly they could have turned  the laser down, used a pre treatment of numbing cream or done something to make it bearable. I have a very high pain tolerance(I can get my cavities filled without nova cane) I had one session on my upper back and it hurt but I was able to talk and tolerate it no problem, That was before HRT and that one treatment is as smooth as a baby's bottom so really I didn't need laser except on the face and upper chest. My facial hair is light brown, but not blonde like my body hair and is very thin from the HRT, so maybe with a "lower setting if that exists" pre applied pain cream going slowly and the factor my facial hair is way thinner might make it tolerable? Why are you having so many sessions? That's like 18 and still counting what is your facial hair like or overall hairiness if you don't mind me asking? Did the HRT not help with you hair much? It made most of my body hair go away like lower back and now its completely blonde grows very sparse and slowly. Even my face is real thin lightly colored and a five oclock shadow takes 24 hours instead of 8. I just want it on my upper chest (just for convivence, since all my other body hair is in the range of a less hairy girl.


How do you manage the pain? Why so many treatments where you dark haired and of a nationality that like greek or Italian?


Body hair is my dysphoria and if I never had to shave my chest or face I would be 85% done my transition. I refule to wear make up and dress more then a tshirt or girls clothes if my face isn't perfectly smooth. That would be so great just rolling out of bed and already in girl mode. I just couldn't take the pain. I tried taking strong RX pain meds that I take for my disability and only helped a little, if the had nitrous I could tolerate it all day long and would get it done just for fun!!! Well almost, but I know I could handle on nitrous because second to the pain is I have BAD PTSD from the smell of burning hair and flesh from the time I almost died of a gun shot wound so LHRT is really bad. Maybe the doc could prescribe a valium? But getting controlled meds is so hard these days. I have hard time getting them when I have to go to the hospital and I have 5 year of perfect tract record prescribed through a pain specialist, and I'm already dependent so its not like they have to worry about my getting hooked, I already am! And how do you afford them? Im guessing you need this on other areas too? Being trans is torture the public needs to realize how tough us girls are, I couldn't see them going through this voluntarily and paying out of pocket just so we are not ostracized by ahole homophobes!!!

I have no body hair at all. My hair is naturally quite dark (avatar is bottle blonde lol... but I like it that way) Never grew any chest or back hair my t levels have always been pathetic. My arm and leg hair just stopped with hrt. Any arm and leg hair remaining gets epilated - and that hurts more than laser most times.

Facial hair I treated six months at home with a laser device (pain was fairly high!) then I paid 2k for a year of commercial laser (OMFG did that hurt the first few times). I just took the pain till now its bearable. I don't use any pain killers at all for hair removal. Then again I once broke my foot and walked on it for 3 days before it hurt enough to see a doctor. I go once every 6 weeks. Few more facial sessions left. Might ask for 1-2 more but, end of the day the remaining hair is mostly white, no one sees it so... who cares?

[Lexi Nexi]

I have no body hair at all. My hair is naturally quite dark (avatar is bottle blonde lol... but I like it that way) Never grew any chest or back hair my t levels have always been pathetic. My arm and leg hair just stopped with hrt. Any arm and leg hair remaining gets epilated - and that hurts more than laser most times.

Facial hair I treated six months at home with a laser device (pain was fairly high!) then I paid 2k for a year of commercial laser (OMFG did that hurt the first few times). I just took the pain till now its bearable. I don't use any pain killers at all for hair removal. Then again I once broke my foot and walked on it for 3 days before it hurt enough to see a doctor. I go once every 6 weeks. Few more facial sessions left. Might ask for 1-2 more but, end of the day the remaining hair is mostly white, no one sees it so... who cares?

Home laser device? I'm guessing that didn't work? You a NdYAG laser and I don't see those in the home unless you buy a defective medical laser and fix it yourself, they are just way too expensive. I could only imagine it using a pump down IR to green 502nm laser diode found in a laser pointer. Those lasers will burn, my friends that were black hated that thing but my white skin felt almost nothing unless it was on a freckle then it felt warm. My friends used to jump in pain and describe "red-hot needles puncturing their skin" That's exactly what the professional one feels like. When you say the pain got tolerable is that because the number of hairs went down so the laser is burning off less follicles? Does the laser turn it white? I noticed HRT really thinned out my facial hair or lightened it hard to say it does feel softer and not hard and bristly.


Anyone tried nair on the face? If it lasted two or three days that would be well worth it. I just hate waking up with it feeling rough. I have a fear of a guy waking up in bed in the morning and kissing my cheek and being grossed out. Every time he wants to kiss me on the cheek when he leaves early for work I have jump out of bed into the shower shave and go back into the bed so he doesn't get grossed out? As a straight guy no matter how hot a girl was kissing a rough face would, well it wouldn't, I wouldn't do that. FU#@$#$ he|| I would rather go through any other procedure then laser on the face again. I was a pretty tough guy been through some really bad life threating injuries but that laser almost had me in tears. Some one once said they could turn it down is that true or was someone just making up BS for the sake of needing to have a reply on the internet? I would gladly do and pay for double sessions.

[CynthiaAnn]

Interesting thread to find and read this morning, I see it's been going for some time now, thanks for this topic. Soooo,

  Yes, I've kept a journal (note book) when I first started seeing a therapist in 2010. I jotted down my thoughts and experiences during the early years of my transition in this note book, I find it interesting to revisit this now and realize how much things have changed since then (what was I thinking then). I've also kept a "scrap books" which is now two folders worth of many transition related milestones, events, and documents. Such as name change updates to all the various entities, letters from Dr's, my hospital name band from GCS. The food menu from the hospital I recovered from (I know that's weird). I also have a digital picture library that started in 2010 to today, that documents many of my changes in images (scary sometimes), places I went, things I did, very useful. I have a very chronological mind that likes to place times to events, transition for me encompassed many years of layering the  changes. I've also posted online to forums when I was actively transitioning, that was very useful. I took a hiatus from posting about transition topics for a few years after my surgery, and then one day, it seemed like I wanted to post again online and reach others, it felt right to be back on here after so long. I enjoy reading other's stories and adding to the conversations when I can.

Have a wonderful day

C -

[Shay9999]

I have not kept track of my transition milestones. I remember coming out to friends a few years ago, but I don't remember the date, nor did I record it. I felt as though most of my friends already knew enough about me to know I was either trans or just really, really, feminine. I started hormones shortly after coming out to a trans friend of mine, who also had just started hormones. I don't exactly remember when my breasts started developing, or when I first started electrolysis.

My point is, as happy as I am waking up and feeling comfortable in how my body is, now, developing, I didn't feel any huge buildup to any particular events in my transition. I knew I was a woman, that I wanted to transition, since I was 15. I've treated a lot of my transition like a cut healing, or popping a pimple. It happened, I feel better, and I continue enjoying life to the fullest.

It's interesting to see so many people record their transition milestones, though. It's really cool that everyone holds these events with so much love and admiration. I can understand why, and I think it's adorable. You're all the best.

Edit:

Anyone tried nair on the face?

For the love of all things, do not do this. Nair is not meant for the face. Your face is so sensitive, and that product will damage it. If you want a smooth finish, shave with a razor and moisturize. Alternatively, for more permanent results, try electrolysis.

[graspthesanity]

I kind of understand why people pay attention to many milestones, I started and it was mostly by recommendation of my ex-psychologist, but I prefer to just live on and see that I've always been like this. I also have prosopagnosia, so every day I see my face in a new beautiful light where I like what I see:)

[Allie Jayne]

I figure if I record my milestones it will encourage me to have goals, and this HRT thing is so different for so many, I don't want to get my hopes up. My wife told me I had breast growth, as I hadn't noticed! Just being on the journey is keeping my dysphoria under control and that's my focus for now.

Allie

[Lexi Nexi]

I figure if I record my milestones it will encourage me to have goals, and this HRT thing is so different for so many, I don't want to get my hopes up. My wife told me I had breast growth, as I hadn't noticed! Just being on the journey is keeping my dysphoria under control and that's my focus for now.

Allie

You will notice that they hurt when they grow. Mine still hurt after 1.5 years of HRT, I guess they are still growing. I do want them to get bigger but not too much bigger. So glad I didn't get implants I would have them taken out or problems now. Depending on your age the hormones do a lot so don't rush them. I'm not so young but my doctor said I have responded like I was 20, so genetics plays a lot. But I think I was born trans, I just have too many female features for me to be a normal cis male.  I think in the womb I didn't respond to estrogen. Also having very low T and not knowing it my whole was also a sign, it was like my body was trying to me I wasn't male. I do accept the fact I'm not female. I will have to settle for transfemale. I was always kind of in between but now I fell like HRT gave me that last little push.

[Allie Jayne]

Thanks Lexi, I had A cups before I started HRT, and I am losing some weight, so there was no size change, but you can see where there is different tissue around the nipple. The new breast tissue is firmer that the fat behind it. Since she pointed out the growth, I have noticed slight pain in my breasts. I am old, and have so many aches and pains I tend not to notice them any more, unless they stop me from doing something! So I couldn't put a date to the start of breast growth as I didn't notice it. Like you, I had low T all my life, so I never had body hair, except for arms and legs, and I still have a full head of hair which I keep just past shoulder length. I have an outspoken sister in law, and over 30 years ago she told me, in front of others, that I had a female brain and from then on she would call me Allie. I suppose that was a milestone...

Allie