motivation and concentration on HRT

[Virginia 71]

Hello all, hope you are well and thanks in advance for reading.

Have any of you experienced lack of motivation and difficulty focusing on HRT? 

I've always been a little ADHD I think although in the past when I got focused on a project I enjoyed I could focus on it for long periods of time when I worked on it and follow it through day to day until completed.

I have fought depression ever since I was a kid with some wonderful breaks from it here and there. The norm is somewhat low spirits which I mask behind a sense of humor. I do see a therapist regularly and a psychiatrist quarterly for medication and they are informed about my transition. (I'm twelve months on HRT at this point.) From the beginning of the summer until the present I have had a real hard time scheduling myself and well....I'm just confused a lot of the time. Part of the problem I am sure is lack of routine. I work but of recent as a freelancer although I am looking for something at least part time to force myself into some sort of day to day. My motivation for anything, even things I used to love, is not at an all time low like previous major depressive episodes but it is very, very low. It takes me half the day to get going, then I manage to get about half a normal days work in and then get angry with myself.

Drinking has been a problem. I was clean and sober for 14 years until I went out again three years ago. It went up and down in severity but as of today I haven't had a drink for nine days, so I suppose I should not expect a lot from myself at the moment. If any of you have fought with alcoholism and care to share your experience strength and hope please PM me! The only thing getting me through each day without a bottle of wine is staying in contact with others who deal with the same.

Thanks for reading this far. I hate dumping my problems on others but I always sincerely tell friends its OK to ask me for help. I guess I should allow myself to do the same as difficult as that is.

[Rachel]

Hi Virginia,

When my T dropped my motivation dropped as well. I started exercising ( I got a trainer so I would make the appointments) and I always went to group. Work is my routine and strong point ( I have to be 100%). So I would recommend making some goals of things you like to do; reinforced behaviors become routines and reinforced routines become habits.

I definitely relate to lack of motivation when I went on T. I had no idea T was so disruptive. I figured cis woman are on E all their life but the have between 36 and 149 ng/dl from the metabolism of progesterone. So, maybe your T is too low. You may want to speak to your doctor.

I am sober 21 years. I am a very bad alcoholic and did a lot of damage to my body. It took me many years for my body to recover. I am better fit and stronger now than at any point in my life, minus when I lifted weights. I would drink to get numb. I added in whisky because beer could not get me really drunk at some point. Then I added in whatever pills I could get because that works like whisky with the beer. I was always hung over or drunk.

I stopped weighing myself when I hit 327 pounds. I was given a choice to lose 150 pounds and stop drinking or I would lose my left foot. My left foot had a diabetic ulcer to the bone and I had a fast flesh destroying infection. I stopped everything and started to eat healthy, when I ate. I exercised every day and lost 5 pounds a week until I hit my goal weight. The doctor put me on an experimental product to grow skin (regranix and polymem). I regrew skin on my foot but not the fat pad.

I am so carful to avoid alcohol serving locations. I sometimes think about drinking and I always associate puking with the thought.