Are you out at work or school?

[Beverly Anne]

I can't really answer my own question. Last spring I went back to school to get a second degree in nursing, and I also work for the school part-time. I had my legal name and gender marker changed on my driver's license and with social security before applying for school and the job. A few administrators know I'm trans, because my high school transcript has my dead name, and a background check for the job shows my dead name. I'm treated so thoroughly as a female by staff, faculty and students, that I believe many of them don't know. I prefer to remain stealth to the extent possible, I just want to be seen as a woman, so I don't go around advertising my gender journey. I'm having a wonderful experience, but I feel a little bit like I'm in trans limbo. Do any of you have a similar experience? Am I wrong to prefer not revealing it to everyone?

[KathyLauren]

I am glad that you are treated as the woman that you are. 

I do not consider myself to be stealth, but I do not generally volunteer information about my transgender status.  If they treat me as a woman and there is no reason to tell them otherwise, I am happy.  If I have a reason to disclose, then I have no hesitation doing so.  And if someone found out, I would be like, "Yeah, so?"

So, no, I do not thing it is wrong not ro reveal what is not relevant to them.

[Beverly Anne]

I am glad that you are treated as the woman that you are. 

I do not consider myself to be stealth, but I do not generally volunteer information about my transgender status.  If they treat me as a woman and there is no reason to tell them otherwise, I am happy.  If I have a reason to disclose, then I have no hesitation doing so.  And if someone found out, I would be like, "Yeah, so?"

So, no, I do not thing it is wrong not ro reveal what is not relevant to them.

Thank you Kathy Lauren,

I feel the same way. I have no problem saying, "yes, I'm trans", if it comes up. I'm not ashamed of it. Though I'm happier being seen as a woman and not a trans woman. I dated another woman recently, and she made the comment that she wished I hadn't told her I was trans, although it wasn't an issue for her. She said she just wanted to see me as a woman. That was a little weird. I date lesbian women, and there comes a time I have to share the secret. So, there's a little bit of extra dating stress there.

[NatalieRene]

The dead name doesn't mean as much as you think. In past documents.

Sometimes parents can't accept that their kid is a girl and name her Kevin. I seriously met this person and she was the sweetest cis gendered female and had the most horrible name for her. I also know a guy named Kelly.

Sometimes people assume the name change was simply because your parents chose a inappropriate name and a person simply decided not to be named that anymore.

That said I'm in the process of getting my birth certificate reissued from California and getting my college records changed to my legal name.

[Danielle Kristina]

I'm out to one coworker at work who is also trans, but other than that, I'm not out yet.

[Northern Star Girl]

Coming out to family, friends, co-workers, etc... initially are decisions and actions that can be very stressful and usually quite difficult. 
Each and every time your personal coming out gauntlet is conquered it can become easier and easier... and it each time it is like a big weight is lifted off of your shoulders.

At some point in many transitioner's journeys, coming out Full-Time may be an option that can be exercised.

I came out Full-Time 2 years ago and I have never looked back...  it is the most liberating and mind-freeing experience ever.   

To my "sisters" that may soon be taking that step, bravely continue on toward your goal, your utmost happiness will most likely be the result.

Hugs and well wishes,
Danielle

[Colleen_definitely]

I'm out to all of my coworkers and long time customers at work since I transitioned on the job.  Newer customers don't seem to pick up on it, but I don't exactly introduce myself like "Hi, I'm Colleen and I'm transgender."  I'm there to take care of something for them and they don't really have reason to care.

Now come January I start a new job and graduate school.  A couple of the faculty know I'm trans since they're old customers of mine from my soon to be former job, but many don't.  I don't plan on advertising that I'm trans, but I don't plan on denying it either.  I'm there to learn, do my job in the lab, get a pretty piece of paper, and a goofy looking hood for my graduation gown.

[Rachel]

Hi, I came out at work November 13, 2015. I transitioned on the job.

Being trans never comes up at work anymore.

There are a lot of people at work that do not know me and a lot of customers. I never get looks or comments.

My work ID picture was taken the night before I cam out. I had FFS and hair transplants and I do not look anything like the picture. I wasn't to get a new pic taken but then again no one looks at ID pics.

[dee82]

I feel the same way. I have no problem saying, "yes, I'm trans", if it comes up. I'm not ashamed of it. Though I'm happier being seen as a woman and not a trans woman.

Beverly Anne, I think the same way.

I think it's great that you can be "stealth" at work. No need to tell them anything is there? From your pic, I can see why you are accepted as a woman. No-one would ever think otherwise.

Me? I largely work from home, (IT contractor) so these questions don't come up on a daily basis, although there are some colleagues I have to see maybe once a month. Still haven't quite figured out how best to tell them.

~Dee.

[CarlyMcx]

I'm an attorney so I don't have a choice.  Any previous name I practiced law under is in the public record.  That said, I'm completely out and full time.

Hugs, Carly

[Meghan]

I can't really answer my own question. Last spring I went back to school to get a second degree in nursing, and I also work for the school part-time. I had my legal name and gender marker changed on my driver's license and with social security before applying for school and the job. A few administrators know I'm trans, because my high school transcript has my dead name, and a background check for the job shows my dead name. I'm treated so thoroughly as a female by staff, faculty and students, that I believe many of them don't know. I prefer to remain stealth to the extent possible, I just want to be seen as a woman, so I don't go around advertising my gender journey. I'm having a wonderful experience, but I feel a little bit like I'm in trans limbo. Do any of you have a similar experience? Am I wrong to prefer not revealing it to everyone?

I was accidentally out myself at work, and now everyone knows I am in Transition

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