Feeling weird and guilty after masturbation

[MissKatie]

I have quite a low sex drive so I rarely masturbate but sometimes it just happens right?
Anyway, the last I dunno five month or so if I masturbate I feel weird afterwards, like I shouldn't be touching my penis at all because I'm a woman and then I feel guilty about doing so.
I really don't know what to make of this.

It's just getting myself off, I know, and I never felt like that growing up, heck as a teenager I could've pulled it off entirely haha but lately I dunno, I cannot explain it well.

Any advice or similar peeps?

[EdLynn]

I understand your feelings. I wish my penis gone but until surgery to rearrange my plumbing, it is just a big clit. Perhaps thinking of it that way may help? Also, I have found using a vibrator on it just feels SO much better!

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[Arianna Valentine]

I have quite a low sex drive so I rarely masturbate but sometimes it just happens right?
Anyway, the last I dunno five month or so if I masturbate I feel weird afterwards, like I shouldn't be touching my penis at all because I'm a woman and then I feel guilty about doing so.
I really don't know what to make of this.

It's just getting myself off, I know, and I never felt like that growing up, heck as a teenager I could've pulled it off entirely haha but lately I dunno, I cannot explain it well.

Any advice or similar peeps?

You know I go to that exact same thing I have for quite a bit longer it's like for me ever since my mid-to-late twenties I felt bad after I masturbate seeing as I'm 38 now that's quite a while honestly I don't know why maybe it's from a religious standpoint I don't know if your religious I used to be but that would be one reason I felt bad also feeling like I'm a woman and I'm touching myself badly or I shouldn't be touching myself at all and honestly I don't think it's bad that you feel that way I don't think it's bad that I feel that way I don't like that I feel that way but I don't think it's bad either I think it's just maybe on a subconscious level it has been drilled into our heads that you're not supposed to do this it's a bad thing to do and that's how we react whenever we do it...

I guess I'm saying look at it from a psychological standpoint and maybe it'll help you understand why you feel bad when you do it I mean that's what helped me a little understand it a little bit and I do hope that this helps you I don't think you're a bad person because you do it I do it I think it is just our parents churches schools everybody has spent so long drilling it into our head that this is bad you're not supposed to touch yourself like I remember when I was a kid being told if I play with it it's going to fall off it's literally drilled into our heads from the time where infants do not do this this is a bad thing to do so we feel bad when we do it...

Also I want to apologize if my answers are similar and long well longer than intended

If you can't accept yourself,  how can you expect others to accept you?

[MissKatie]

You know I go to that exact same thing I have for quite a bit longer it's like for me ever since my mid-to-late twenties I felt bad after I masturbate seeing as I'm 38 now that's quite a while honestly I don't know why maybe it's from a religious standpoint I don't know if your religious I used to be but that would be one reason I felt bad also feeling like I'm a woman and I'm touching myself badly or I shouldn't be touching myself at all and honestly I don't think it's bad that you feel that way I don't think it's bad that I feel that way I don't like that I feel that way but I don't think it's bad either I think it's just maybe on a subconscious level it has been drilled into our heads that you're not supposed to do this it's a bad thing to do and that's how we react whenever we do it...

I guess I'm saying look at it from a psychological standpoint and maybe it'll help you understand why you feel bad when you do it I mean that's what helped me a little understand it a little bit and I do hope that this helps you I don't think you're a bad person because you do it I do it I think it is just our parents churches schools everybody has spent so long drilling it into our head that this is bad you're not supposed to touch yourself like I remember when I was a kid being told if I play with it it's going to fall off it's literally drilled into our heads from the time where infants do not do this this is a bad thing to do so we feel bad when we do it...

Also I want to apologize if my answers are similar and long well longer than intended

If you can't accep yourself,  how can you expect others to accept you?

It's definitely not religious haha

[Arianna Valentine]

It's definitely not religious haha

Okay then I revert back to the it's been drilled into your head like I mentioned in the edit I remember being told when I was young if you keep playing with it it's going to fall off so it's a way of making you feel bad that you're doing it so I guess what I'm really trying to say when all else fails blame your parents

If you can't accept yourself,  how can you expect others to accept you?

[LizK]

Maybe you could look at "re-wiring" your thinking. Masturbation feels good for a reason...it is healthy and we can all do with a bit more self love. It reduces stress promotes good sexual health and it is normal

If you are on HRT then like any organ without regular exercise it will atrophy

Felling guilty for touching yourself because you are a woman sounds like it might have something to do with...

How can I be a woman if I like to touch my penis?? That diminishes my femininity??

You can be and it doesn't

We work with what we have and in spite of all the garbage poured into our heads none of it means diddly squat.

Hope that helps

Liz


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[GingerVicki]

I don't feel guilty because when I so I am so disappointed.   It is a waste of time. My days of male masturbation are done. It just doesn't do anything.

[IAmM]

  That's just it isn't it?
  We are doing all we can to be a woman right? It's against what we want right? It has to be wrong... right? Nein darling. Don't believe it, don't fall into that trap.
  Why transition to exchange one set of rules for another? Okay, I don't want anyone to touch it, not at all, never have. Not an, "I am a girl thing" but a ,"I got molested and raped so young and so often that the thought of someone touching it makes me vomit." thing. Sexual desire is a normal part of being human so who is going to take care of that for me if no one else is allowed to? I am no less a girl because of it. I will get my surgery until then, with a guy or by myself, it is what I have to work with. Truthfully it gets so old faking an orgasm when I can have the real thing, he is happy and I am happy.
  Forget what anyone else thinks about it, what they think, what we here think, is unimportant. What makes us a woman is above the neck and not below the belly button, if not everyone here needs to go home and figure out a new plan.
  I am 5'4", I am petite, I have always felt this way, my boobs are big, my waist is narrow, this is so natural for me... I can't stand to touch it. Confirming but ultimately damaging things that I have heard here over and over again. Maybe everyone here is the perfect woman, I seriously doubt it however, most women that were born with the right genitalia are not perfect women.
  I am 5'10", I am not petite, I have always felt this way, my boobs are okay, my waist is narrower than my hips but my hips are huge, I had to work at this... I don't mind touching it. I also live fully as a woman and have for years. My church going girlfriends know about me and have no problem sitting in the stall next to me in the bathroom. I tell someone that I am 49 and they freak, I tell someone that I am trans and they look at me like I am speaking a different language.
  Being you is okay, being human is okay, thinking that there is one true way is sooooo not okay.

Relax, it is okay if you do, it is okay if you don't. It won't hurt transition if you do and won't fast track transition if you don't. Please don't feel guilty though. It is time for all of us to let that emotion go.

[Linde]

I don't feel guilty because when I so I am so disappointed.   It is a waste of time. My days of male masturbation are done. It just doesn't do anything.

That's like it is with me.  Sometimes I think that it is about time to masturbate again, and 5 minutes later I forgot about it until a month or two later.  But I never do it anymore. Even the thought to have a large clit down there, will not do it for me anymore I am basically asexual with the desire to be lesbian.  It might be that I start with masturbation again once I had bottom surgery, but until that time, I have just a water hose down there.

However, I like the semi sexual feeling I get when I massage my breasts!

[dee82]

Can't relate to what you are saying, Katie about guilt.  But the low sex drive I can relate to completely.

To be honest, it's been so long since I felt the urge I can't properly remember how it felt, and whether is felt good or not.

The brain is a powerful thing. I say that, because my lower than before sex drive began well before starting HRT. I can't really explain it, but somehow masturbation lost it's appeal, once I stopped pretending to be a man.

I don't think I am trying to be some stereotype of a woman.

I dunno it just happened.

~Dee.

[Alice (nym)]

I see it as a chore... if I don't do it then it eventually leaves a mess. Before I found it as a means of controlling my desire to be a woman. I found that afterwards I would have a lot of shame and guilt but also it diminished the desire for a few hours. Doing it regularly helped control it and when I stopped then the desire to be a woman became increasingly stronger the longer I left it. So it has always just been a chore. But now I am more accepting about who I am, that doesn't work anymore, so I do it every 2-3 weeks just so I don't wake up having to change the linen. It is more like milking a cow than anything sexual. I am looking forward to day when I don't need to do it anymore.

So perhaps just think of it as a chore rather than part of your anatomy. I sometimes I think of it as doing someone else. When I used to have sex with my wife and past girlfriend, I always imagined that it was my partner penetrating me, rather than the other way round. My ex used to sit on my thighs and masturbate me as though it was her penis and not mine. Things like that. My ex was bisexual but she had a great way of making me feel feminine in the bedroom. Probably one of the reasons why I was able to survive... although in hindsight, it might've been better had she not done that and I might've transitioned sooner.

[jake3029]

I feel the exact way whenever I do, and it just annoys me because I always try to avoid it but eventually I will do it. And afterwards I feel guilty. I soon hope to get rid of my penis.

[sally0196]

Katie, I'm not a scientist but I have actually researched this very thing.  After ejaculation all males experience a post-orgasm let down known as the "refractory period."  During this period the pituitary gland releases a hormone known as prolactin which serves to mute the sexual desires coming from the limbic system (known as the primitive brain).  It is believed that when this happens, the frontal lobe of the brain, where our higher functions reside, can now take control back from our primitive brain, which may be the reason males experience weird feelings and regret after orgasm. This is a temporary condition lasting from a half hour to as much as 24 hours afterwards. This may very well be the reason many of us who are transgender have moments of regret and confused thoughts immediately after an orgasm. 

Hugs,

Sally