Dilating is enjoyable?

[Denise]

I'm 10 weeks post op and there is still some numbness, well a lot actually but it's coming back.

My question is about enjoying (wink wink) it.  I don't see it nor do I get a spark from doing it.  What feels pleasurable about it?

Can someone help me out here?  What am I missing?

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[Northern Star Girl]

I'm 10 weeks post op and there is still some numbness, well a lot actually but it's coming back.

My question is about enjoying (wink wink) it.  I don't see it nor do I get a spark from doing it.  What feels pleasurable about it?

Can someone help me out here?  What am I missing?

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@Denise
Dear Denise:
As compared to a cis-female, what you may be missing for now is many of the sensitive nerves and pelvic floor muscles in and around your new equipment down below.   Over time... muscles, sensations and nerve sensitivity may improve as numbness starts demininshing... talk to your surgeon to get their opinion about that.
 
Enjoy it anyway!!!!   The wonderfully affirming news for you is that doctors and nurses ... almost without exception... will have no clue that you are not a cis-female when you get a physical exam unless they discover that you do not have a cervix at the far end of your new vagina.   That to me is the big thrill of this big step in a transition procedure like this.

Hugs and best wishes,
Danielle

[Anna994]

Do keep in mind, every girl is different. I do not get much pleasure from dilating, unless I use the thickest dilator which can also hit my clitoris while going in and out.

I've spoken to my sister, who's a cis-female and she feels the absolute same way, getting little to no pleasure from penetration unless her clitoris is being hit.

It's different for everyone and no one can predict how it'll be for them.

[LizK]

I'm 10 weeks post op and there is still some numbness, well a lot actually but it's coming back.

My question is about enjoying (wink wink) it.  I don't see it nor do I get a spark from doing it.  What feels pleasurable about it?

Can someone help me out here?  What am I missing?

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Nothing as far as I can tell...inserting a rock hard piece of plastic into a healing wound area did nothing for me... even now when I am healed it does nothing for me...although I have to admit I haven't tried either. I don't find it unpleasant but it's a task I need to complete. I do enjoy being able to have the "Me" time and getting to relax completely  for 1/2 an hour or more. If I want pleasure then I will no doubt need to do a few different things than I would for a dilation.

Liz


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[tarabel]

Zero pleasure.  Dilation is literally and metaphorically boring.  Just watch Netflix or read during your dilation time. 

Having said that, one of my friends sometimes watches porn when she dilates 

[SadieBlake]

Even early on I would imagine something sexy before dilation and paid attention to my clit while doing it. I far prefer sex toys however you definitely need designed for the purpose dilators for the first few months.

[JillianC]

My numbness is starting to go away and I'm starting to feel some sensations. While those sensations are pleasurable, they are nowhere near the ballpark of getting me anywhere. I do find that the thicker dilators feel better and there is a spot way in the back that feels better than other areas.

Sadie brings up a valid point. A lot of people feel that dilation is a chore or task that needs to be done. I know most ladies need to be in the correct mood to get somewhere. I've been trying to associate dilation with sexy times and focusing on the different feelings while doing it.

[Colleen_definitely]

Touching the dilator with something that vibrates does the trick for me.  Of course getting turned on by whatever you prefer helps a lot as well.

[LizK]

From my limited understanding you can swap out a dilator for a vibrator etc for your dilation sessions. Maybe once everything is healed this will be a good alternative. I know that having  penetrative sex counts towards dilations. I guess there is no reason why it can't be a pleasurable time...hmm sounds like a fun way to spend some time


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[Rachel]

I had to achieve an orgasm after my 3 months and before my 6 month check up, it was home work. Dilators were not used for this purpose.

I was afraid of damaging something and started slowly and softly. I was prescribed T but stopped using it as I just could not get my head around using it. My T was 0. Well, I am taking my T, just a dab every day and that really amps up libido from 0 to 10% of male libido. When in the mood it can go to 20%.

Learning the new equipment is important. Caressing is important. Having something (s) for manual orgasm for me is important. caressing your body erogenous zones is important. 

After you are 100% healed and the doctor says it is ok then I used toys. I have learned what makes me tick. Bigger is definitely better. LELO makes a G spot stimulator. There are dildoes that can be used behind to make a very full feeling. Using a magic want and using it around the clitoris and then on the clitoris sends me into an orgasm in no time. You, you can go slow and yes you can be very quick.     

[Denise]

Thanks all.  See I'm not alone.

Next question.  Pulling the dilator out actually is very uncomfortable.  It's a muscle thing not friction.

Any clue?

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[Anna994]

The tip I got from my surgeon for pulling it out is to lay completely flat (As flat as you can), relax all of your muscles to the best of your ability, and gently roll the dilator left and right as you pull out, you can stop from time to time and allow your vagina to sort of reposition the dilator, I mean, the vagina wants it out anyway and can even help you pull.

That said, I am a peritoneal vaginoplasty girl and I've no idea if it's different with us and inversion

[Colleen_definitely]

Coughing or sneezing is a sure fire way to remove a dilator in a hurry. 

The muscle needs time to heal and have swelling go down, that should improve with time.  For me the more nagging discomfort was the incision at the opening of the canal, that stayed uncomfortable a lot longer.