I have decided that I want to make this transition finally. I've dealt with the pain of depression and anxiety for too long now. I've attempted suicide, abused drugs and alcohol, got tattoos to drown out the pain of day to day life, so on and so forth. However, coming out comes at a snails pace. My parents and family are likely some of the most ill informed and politically incorrect people on earth. Gay is a sin and God doesn't make mistakes therefore your gender is set at birth. Period. We had a family friend come out as trans when I was in high school. My parents exiled her and wouldn't allow her around my brothers and I. I applauded her courage but I was never given an opportunity to express that. After seeing how they treated her, it scared me right back into hiding.
Over thanksgiving weekend I was getting more comfortable again with saying something, then my idiot brother and opinionated father opened their mouths. The topic of gender identity came up in passing. My brother referred to people like us as "those ->-bleeped-<-s who think they can decide their own gender." My dad compared transgender rights to people stealing with no recourse. I lost it. I secluded myself the rest of the evening and blamed it on my depression. Which is true but their loud mouths were the triggers.
The following Monday, my fiancé ended up hospitalized after her depression hit a wall. She ended up in the psychiatric wing for the last week. Thank god she's okay and my best friend got to her in time. However, dealing with that made me sure I needed to tell at least one person everything before I was in that same place again. I checked myself into inpatient psychiatric care after a suicide attempt 4 years ago and never want to be back at that point.
After leaving the hospital Monday night, I went to my best friends house for a drink. We got to talking, and he asked me how therapy is going. Well, after a cosmo, I felt pretty willing to talk. Asked him if he realized why I was in therapy. He recognized depression and anxiety, and I told him there was one more major thing that led me to therapy finally. Initially he thought it was manic or bipolar. I swallowed the last sip of my drink hard and came flat out. Between tears, I told him I'm transgender. I don't know exactly why I was crying. I think it may have been my fear of losing my best friend of over 20 years. When I picked my head up he sat accross from me with a huge smile on his face and told me I had his full support. We went out two days later. I was finally able to wear what I wanted and for the first time was comfortable. Granted, I had to deal with the ignorant table of people sitting behind us making comments, but I for the most part ignored them.
Anyway. Back to the point. My question is this. How do you come pot to a family of ignorant people? I was going to wait until physical changes start showing but I don't know if that's a good idea. Any thoughts?
