Keira 1.0 Introduction

[Keira 1.0]

Hi Everyone,

This is my first time posting.  I am a mid-40's male (externally anyway), married w/kids, and deeply entrenched in my current life.  This is my first time acknowledging, outside of my own mind, something that I've always sort of known in one way or another since a very young age.  I'm fairly certain that after lots of internet reading, I definitely fall somewhere on that trans spectrum (exactly where this goes, I don't know).   I, like many other people, moved on with life when I never magicallly woke up as the girl that I always wished I could be.  I've done a pretty good job of compartmentalizing this part of me for many years.  The feelings have never gone away.  They have come and gone with varying intensity over the years with accompanying levels of untreated depression as well .  I've just sort of pushed ahead in life, slowly at times, but still ahead. 

For the last 4-5 years, the dysphiric feelings have been steadily ramping up.  The last 6 months have been especially hard.  There are days where I manage okay and then there are days where I'm an internal wreck and the dysphoria hits me like ton of bricks (with physical effects).  One thing that I am certain of is that I need to talk to a trained therapist that specializes in transgender issues (I will post in that forum when I get a chance)

So, here I am, confused with lots of questions.  Step number 1 is now about to be checked off.

Thanks,

Keira 

[dee82]

Hi Keira,

I can see similarities in your story so far with mine. It's amazing how suich feeling can be pushed aside because of family/commitments/work or simply being fearful of what it all means.

You have the right idea about seeing a gender therapist. Go for it and see where it takes you! It can be scary, but exciting too.

There is so much information right here, and so many nice people to help support you.

Welcome!

~Dee.

No doubt an official welcomer will come in with helpful links and rules, but I was just passing by and wanted to say Hi!

[V M]

Hi Keira 

Welcome to Susan's Place    Glad to have you here, join on in the fun

Here are some links to the site rules and stuff that we offer to all new members to help them along

Things that you should read

Site Terms of Service & Rules to Live By	Standard Terms & Definitions	Post Ranks (including when you can upload an avatar)	Cautionary Note
Reputation rules	News posting & quoting guidelines	Photo, avatars, & signature images policy	Membership Agreement

Hugs

V M

[Kirsteneklund7]

Hi Kiera & Dee,
                          Your lives are very similar to mine. I married, bought  a house had kids am deeply entrenched/committed - I am an Engineer by day- dress as a woman in the evening & run on estrogen even though I am XY. I am 49 years old.

Kindest regards, Kirsten


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[KimOct]

Hi Keira - I am glad you are here.  You will find your story ( albeit it your own ) is basically one that many of us have lived.  Many people think that transgender people typically have been flitting around their entire lives acting very effeminate.  Far from it.  I will tell you my story in a moment but many transwomen actually over compensated much of their lives.  One friend of mine used to be a bomb disposal expert (yeah you know who you are lol ).  Another was a gunner in a tank.

We come from many different backgrounds - I knew since I was 5 yrs old.  I first saw a transgender therapist at age 55 and transitioned at age 56 - 2 yrs ago.  I was married with 3 kids - never had any interest in men sexually and just seemed like a run of the mill guy with a middle management job at a major company.

Now I am here LOL.  Everyone was very surprised - nobody suspected.

So what I am trying to say is - I am YOU.

This place can be very helpful - read lots of opinions - see which ones ring true to you - post your feelings - ask questions.  A lot of people helped me with my thoughts - feelings - plans during my transition and that is why I am here.  I owe it to them to help others the way that they helped me.

Participate - we are here to support you.

[Keira 1.0]

Thank You all for the warm welcome.  Yes, some of our stories do feel very similar, I agree. I have a lot of reading and browsing to do at this point (just so many questions and not a lot of answers).  For me right now, whatever direction this takes, it will be slow. I too possess that engineer thought process and I crave information, knowledge, and other points of view in order to make informed decisions.  That has its pluses and minuses. 

Right now, the uncertainty and "fog" are a pretty heavy burden.  For so long, I have put everyone else ahead of myself and it has taken a pretty heavy toll.  That one forum topic on how not to blow up your marriage and family life definitely resonates with me and is omnipresent.  Anyway, thank you again, and I'm sure the questions will slowly start flowing and I look forward to the feedback that everyone here has to offer. 

Keira

[Jessica]

Hi Keira, welcome to Susan's Place, I'm Jessica!
Your experience is similar to many here, including myself.
Counseling with a therapist with gender experience help me find answers within myself.
Big help, I endorse it!

Hugs and smiles, Jessica