>-bleeped-<s and admirers

[MissKatie]

This is something that 99% of men won't experience.
The terms - a >-bleeped-< is someone who finds trans people sexually attractive and in my case send a ton of sexual messages and penis photos.
Admirer - someone who is likes trans people in a romantic and sexual way. Doesn't send penis photos but would if asked.

This is so strange and weird to me. I've never received any attention for my looks living as a guy ever and now I have men trying to get me to have sex with them.
It's very overwhelming and I tried to be polite but then "ding" penis photo.
Yeah,I have my own penis that I don't want, I don't want to see another.

How do you deal with this? Not just the pics, but the attention I mean yikes! I hate people looking at me

[GordonG]

A question I have is how do these men know you?. How do they have your email to contact you? Perhaps you're putting yourself out there in places you shouldn't be. Just a thought.

[Dena]

I don't use social media however post "G rated photo or blocked" then keep your word. The ones who don't listen, you don't want to deal with anyway because they don't understand the word no.

[MissKatie]

A question I have is how do these men know you?. How do they have your email to contact you? Perhaps you're putting yourself out there in places you shouldn't be. Just a thought.

Social media only

[Kylo]

Before not so long ago everyone in my social circle thought I was a (fairly attractive) woman and I've yet to be sent any sort of dick pic. Never got one in my entire life.

Not sure what sort of social media all the cool kids are using but most people I know seemed to have been either sending or receiving them. I've had people send me their face in selfies or random crap and gore (how lovely) and ask to be friends but never the last turkey in the shop.

Is this snapchat, facebook or twitter or something? My presence on twitter is minimal to none, never used snapchat, only instagram and facebook. Generally there are block functions aren't there? If someone sent me their penis I'd ask them what they expect me to do with it. If I was feeling particularly mean I might ask them to send me something zoomed in so it's actually visible. Social media is just unpleasant in general unless you cultivate a small circle of close acquaintances only imo. I usually have my details set to private and visible only to friends with randos unable to message me unless I've added them.

I wouldn't take dick pics too seriously either by most accounts... the type of person to send one at all without knowing anything about a person beforehand is fishing for anything and anyone who might reply and probably has a less than stellar personality, let's face it.

How to deal with the attention? With caution and disinterest, in my case. Flattery from strangers isn't something I can take seriously, doubly so when I was a female. If they don't know how to approach subtly and with some decorum I was not interested. I pity the gentleman deluded enough in the ways of the world to imagine his wang is a magic wand that hypnotizes women at the sight (they have much to learn about the old male-female dynamic).

[Devlyn]

Interesting that while we don't want to be labelled, we seek to label others.

Megan and I recently had a conversation with 5th year medical students at a university following a presentation designed to help them deal with the transgender patients they may have. They were wondering what our relationship would be called, a question we don't have an answer for. Based on this thread, I guess we're either a couple of >-bleeped-<s, or a mutual admiration society. 

We, as a community, don't want people assigning unwanted labels on us... let's resist the temptation to do it to others.

Hugs, Devlyn

[ChrissyRyan]

Interesting that while we don't want to be labelled, we seek to label others.

Megan and I recently had a conversation with 5th year medical students at a university following a presentation designed to help them deal with the transgender patients they may have. They were wondering what our relationship would be called, a question we don't have an answer for. Based on this thread, I guess we're either a couple of >-bleeped-<s, or a mutual admiration society. 

We, as a community, don't want people assigning unwanted labels on us... let's resist the temptation to do it to others.

Hugs, Devlyn

No labels here for you Devlyn and Megan.  You two are simply a loving couple.

Chrissy

[KathyLauren]

I have my security settings on Facebook set so that only friends of friends can contact me. 

Even then, if I get a friend request from someone I don't know, I'll check out their page: where they live, who we know in common, what work they do, if their photos look creepy.  They may have their security setting set as high as mine, in which case I won't see much.  That is fine.  If I can't see a reason why I would want to be friends with the person, I'll click the Reject button.

[ChrissyRyan]

You may need to delete everything from your social media accounts, then delete your accounts, then start over with tight privacy settings and choicely worded posts as the only way to stop receiving unwanted communication.

Chrissy

[CindyLouFromCO]

Just block them right away.  Leave any risqué groups also.  I quit Facebook a while ago.  No way I'm supporting a company that took money from the Russians to divide our country and support a conservative agenda.  Also it's capitalism at its worse.  Also to easy for trolls to track you. 

If I get board I go to survey junky and do surveys and get paid.  Survey junky is at least honest in their business practices and they pay you.  They also don't sell your info to countries that are our to hurt me.

Yes I had that issue.  Even a guy at work that was my boss's boss sent me a penis pic.  I found out he sends his penis pic to lots of girls.  Most guys are gross.  I ended up having a bitchy stuckup your gross I'm better than you attitude toward them.  Just block.  No one sends me pics anymore or bothers me. 

Now it's more guys checking me out in public.  I just smile, stare until their eyes drop and move on.  It's really fun when I'm out with my boyfriend. 

[tgirlamg]

Interesting that while we don't want to be labelled, we seek to label others.

Megan and I recently had a conversation with 5th year medical students at a university following a presentation designed to help them deal with the transgender patients they may have. They were wondering what our relationship would be called, a question we don't have an answer for. Based on this thread, I guess we're either a couple of >-bleeped-<s, or a mutual admiration society. 

We, as a community, don't want people assigning unwanted labels on us... let's resist the temptation to do it to others.

Hugs, Devlyn

@Devlyn

Thank you for the above Devlyn!

Hi Miss Katie!

Yes!... there are many strategies for blocking attention from strangers online... I understand that attention of this nature is a new world in which we must all find our own way...

I think Devlyn's point about labels is well considered...  Are heterosexual men who are attracted to heterosexual women not "admirers" and ">-bleeped-<s" as well? ... Do we not seek out those who have admiration and attraction to us as mates? I married the greatest guy in the world and I have been blessed with the happy years we have had together, and the ones still to come, that resulted from him admiring and chasing me!!! 😃🌸💕

Most women, cis or trans, at some point deal with some degree of unwanted attention... All shall be well though little sister!!!...I have great faith that you will find your way in this aspect of your new life!!!

Onward we go brave girl,

Ashley 🙋‍♀️💕🌸

[Michelle_P]

I have my security settings on Facebook set so that only friends of friends can contact me. 

Even then, if I get a friend request from someone I don't know, I'll check out their page: where they live, who we know in common, what work they do, if their photos look creepy.  They may have their security setting set as high as mine, in which case I won't see much.  That is fine.  If I can't see a reason why I would want to be friends with the person, I'll click the Reject button.

I'll second this!  I'll only 'friend' someone I know in Real Life, or who communicates with me via another mechanism outside social media.  Only 'friends of friends' can comment or message me, which has cut way down on unwanted admirers.

I did acquire an assertive unwanted fan in the Real World last year, but he has gone away once a mutual friend spilled the beans that I am post-op.  🙄  I have no interest in that sort of relationship, so this was a relief for me.  No criticism of others is intended or implied, as this is purely my own choice and opinion, and not something I advocate for any other person.  You do you, I'll do me.

[barbie]

I have actively used Facebook during the past 6 years. I have never experienced such an incident. Sending photos revealing the private part to a unknown person is simply a serious crime here.

Of course I once received a lot of friend requests from unknown, strange people. If their identity is anyway unclear, I never accept the request. Nowadays very few requests from strange people. If anybody is impolite or asks something absurd, then I just block him or her.

If you want, you can control it in any social media.

Yes. I have some Facebook friends from here Susans, too.

barbie~~