Natalie’s Weight Log

[Linde]

Eventually the fat will burn we just have to keep at it. Today I had a Cobb salad. I got full so I didn't finish all of it.

That is a very good sign that your stomach is shrinking.  My lunch is a handful of walnuts, and some almonds!

[NatalieRene]

That is a very good sign that your stomach is shrinking.  My lunch is a handful of walnuts, and some almonds!

I couldn't function on nuts alone but yes it has shrunk a lot. I can't even eat two thin crust pieces of pizza and a cheese stick without getting full part of the way through. Not that I'm complaining.

Once I get my weight down I'll blend right back in with the young crowd despite me being nearly twice their age. They started carding me again at the Christmas party for alcohol and it wasn't the patronizing oh you don't look that young. I'm 37 and people tend to guess 20.

I guess it's the genes as my Grandpa on my mother's side is still alive at 95 years old. My a Grandma died in her 90s because of heart issues brought on from being out of shape for decades. I don't know about my father's side because I have never met that side of my family. I guess I should make an effort to meet them but I wouldn't even know where to start.

[Linde]

People still think that I am about 20 years younger than my biological age is.  But this seems to be normal for almost all persons who have the Klinefelter Syndrome.  We seem to age slower than the general population.  It might be partially because many of us never developed "adult" (rougher) skin, and the "baby skin" might make us looking younger.
I don't know whether we also age slower physically, but I am way more mobile and in better physical shape than most pople of my age I know.  I never had the chance to meet my grandparents on either side, and my father was 80 when he died of smoking related symptoms (ruptured enlarged abdominal aorta), and my mother died on a heart attack when she was in her late 60's.  I don't know what their potential age would have been, if hey would have been able to live their normal life to the end.
I just continue to chuck along with my own life, and hope that I reach the ripe age of 150.  After all, I want to rep some of the benefits of being  woman

[NatalieRene]

People still think that I am about 20 years younger than my biological age is.  But this seems to be normal for almost all persons who have the Klinefelter Syndrome.  We seem to age slower than the general population.  It might be partially because many of us never developed "adult" (rougher) skin, and the "baby skin" might make us looking younger.
I don't know whether we also age slower physically, but I am way more mobile and in better physical shape than most pople of my age I know.  I never had the chance to meet my grandparents on either side, and my father was 80 when he died of smoking related symptoms (ruptured enlarged abdominal aorta), and my mother died on a heart attack when she was in her late 60's.  I don't know what their potential age would have been, if hey would have been able to live their normal life to the end.
I just continue to chuck along with my own life, and hope that I reach the ripe age of 150.  After all, I want to rep some of the benefits of being  woman

What is Klinefelter Syndrome? Are you saying you think I'm intersexed? I guess it might be possible as I do have have a number of female primary characteristics but I don't know. How would I find out?

[Linde]

What is Klinefelter Syndrome? Are you saying you think I'm intersexed? I guess it might be possible as I do have have a number of female primary characteristics but I don't know. How would I find out?

Klinefelter Syndrome is the XXY chromosome thingy (I seem to have some other stuff in addition, like extremely delayed puberty, Non Verbal Learning Disability, etc.).

They need to test one for this  with a certain  hormone test (Karyotype testing).  Typical indicators for Kilnefelter Syndrome are:
Small, firm testicles
Delayed or incomplete puberty with lack of secondary sexual characteristics resulting in sparse facial, body, or sexual hair a high-pitched voice and body fat distribution resulting in a rounder, lower half of the body, with more fat deposited in the hips, buttocks and thigh instead of around the chest and abdomen
Breast growth (gynecomastia)
Reduced facial and body hair
Infertility
Tall stature
Abnormal body proportions (long legs, short trunk, shoulder equal to hip size)
Learning disablity
Speech delay
Crypthochirdism.

I have all of those, and then some!  If that also describes you, you might be a fellow intersex person!

[NatalieRene]

Klinefelter Syndrome is the XXY chromosome thingy (I seem to have some other stuff in addition, like extremely delayed puberty, Non Verbal Learning Disability, etc.).

They need to test one for this  with a certain  hormone test (Karyotype testing).  Typical indicators for Kilnefelter Syndrome are:
Small, firm testicles
Delayed or incomplete puberty with lack of secondary sexual characteristics resulting in sparse facial, body, or sexual hair a high-pitched voice and body fat distribution resulting in a rounder, lower half of the body, with more fat deposited in the hips, buttocks and thigh instead of around the chest and abdomen
Breast growth (gynecomastia)
Reduced facial and body hair
Infertility
Tall stature
Abnormal body proportions (long legs, short trunk, shoulder equal to hip size)
Learning disablity
Speech delay
Crypthochirdism.

I have all of those, and then some!  If that also describes you, you might be a fellow intersex person!

I had to go to speech trading as a kid. I was told it was ear infections.

I had gynecomastia and almost no body hair. It was a source of a lot of fights in middle and high school.

My shoulders are the same width as my hips.

I couldn't say about infertility because I never had sex let alone got to the point where I could try for a child. I also didn't have a lot of fat so I don't know how it stored but it was mostly in the waist and legs I guess.

I wasn't tall for a guy. I guess medium height. I wasn't short but I was close.

I do know that at a young age they put me on Ritalin and I hated it. I was on it through middle school.

Oh and my voice was never very low either. As you are aware my voice can also get up and beyond 250 in a normal speaking voice.

[Linde]

I had to go to speech trading as a kid. I was told it was ear infections.

I had gynecomastia and almost no body hair. It was a source of a lot of fights in middle and high school.

My shoulders are the same width as my hips.

I couldn't say about infertility because I never had sex let alone got to the point where I could try for a child. I also didn't have a lot of fat so I don't know how it stored but it was mostly in the waist and legs I guess.

I wasn't tall for a guy. I guess medium height. I wasn't short but I was close.

I do know that at a young age they put me on Ritalin and I hated it. I was on it through middle school.

Oh and my voice was never very low either. As you are aware my voice can also get up and beyond 250 in a normal speaking voice.

One does not need to have all the typical characteristics of an XXY person, there are also a million and a half similar intersex conditions.
I think it is somewhat important to get tested, because the entire treatment for feminizing might need to be changed!

When you have a blood test coming up next time, ask if the can do this Karyotype testing!
Would it cause you any dysphoria if you would just switch from male to female and vice versa, like one  day male, the next day female?  I can do  this without any problem.  But again, I might have some other stuff going on inside me, which you might not have.
Whatever, I would try to get tested!

[NatalieRene]

One does not need to have all the typical characteristics of an XXY person, there are also a million and a half similar intersex conditions.
I think it is somewhat important to get tested, because the entire treatment for feminizing might need to be changed!

When you have a blood test coming up next time, ask if the can do this Karyotype testing!
Would it cause you any dysphoria if you would just switch from male to female and vice versa, like one  day male, the next day female?  I can do  this without any problem.  But again, I might have some other stuff going on inside me, which you might not have.
Whatever, I would try to get tested!

It would cause me dysphoria. I don't think I could pull it off anyways.

[Linde]

It would cause me dysphoria. I don't think I could pull it off anyways.

And I never felt anything like belonging to a gender.  With the knowledge of today, I would say I was non binary.  But I did not like this, I always wanted to belong to some group.  I assume that still today, some people would consider me to be non binary or gender fluid.  I still don't like it, i want to be a female, but still like the advantage to be a male if it seems to be the better gender for a certain purpose.  And this gender fluency does not bother me a bit, I could change my gender presentation every 2 minutes or so.  But my fall back gender will be female, because that seems to be what my body wants!

Anyway, if you look deep inside of you, and reflect on your feelings, you might discover feelings and emotions that were shoved into a corner until than, and those realizations may indicate possible intersex traits you might have.

[NatalieRene]

And I never felt anything like belonging to a gender.  With the knowledge of today, I would say I was non binary.  But I did not like this, I always wanted to belong to some group.  I assume that still today, some people would consider me to be non binary or gender fluid.  I still don't like it, i want to be a female, but still like the advantage to be a male if it seems to be the better gender for a certain purpose.  And this gender fluency does not bother me a bit, I could change my gender presentation every 2 minutes or so.  But my fall back gender will be female, because that seems to be what my body wants!

Anyway, if you look deep inside of you, and reflect on your feelings, you might discover feelings and emotions that were shoved into a corner until than, and those realizations may indicate possible intersex traits you might have.

I'll check on the Karyotype testing, but my next appointment isn't until March. I'm curious. I don't think I have the body structure to pull of a guy mode. Besides thankfully programming and travel are acceptable female hobbies/professions.

[Linde]

I'll check on the Karyotype testing, but my next appointment isn't until March. I'm curious. I don't think I have the body structure to pull of a guy mode. Besides thankfully programming and travel are acceptable female hobbies/professions.

Well, you just have to find the right stuff to wear.
I go as a guy to auto repair shops, to Do-it-Yourself places, and to some other places at which guys are simply treated better than females.  And I walk every morning as a guy.  It is pretty woody around here where I live, and not very well build up.  Once people are gone to work,we have hardly any traffic here.  And my big dog (mix between Rottweiler and Great Dane) and I (with my 6' stature) are certainly not the objects for any rape attempt.  In girls mode, I would feel way less save on my walks.
I like this being gender fluid thing in one way, as long as I can be a woman when I want to be one!

[NatalieRene]

Well, you just have to find the right stuff to wear.
I go as a guy to auto repair shops, to Do-it-Yourself places, and to some other places at which guys are simply treated better than females.  And I walk every morning as a guy.  It is pretty woody around here where I live, and not very well build up.  Once people are gone to work,we have hardly any traffic here.  And my big dog (mix between Rottweiler and Great Dane) and I (with my 6' stature) are certainly not the objects for any rape attempt.  In girls mode, I would feel way less save on my walks.
I like this being gender fluid thing in one way, as long as I can be a woman when I want to be one!

I don't take care of the cars. My boyfriend handles that domain. I'll take it in to get the oil changed and rotate the tires but the other aspects I let him handle. I wouldn't even know where to begin.

I also don't walk around outside at night.

In terms of clothes it wouldn't make much of a difference. To give you an idea. This photo was before I gained weight, when I was pre op and had been on hormones for only a few months. It was roughly 90 days. I would have needed super baggy clothes and there is no hiding the breasts.



These were a matter of days later in the evening after work and after I had came out at work.





Even with the weight I still can't pull off the guy mode. My avatar was right around the time I got my GCS completed. I don't remember if it was pre or post but that was 15 months into HRT.

[dee82]

Interesting thread Natalie!

Though a difficult time to be trying to keep the weight down. I find this time of year really challenging. There always seems to be a reason/excuse to eat too much.

I think I am resigned to putting on some kgs during December.

I have found what works best for me is getting used to feeling hungry, and embracing the feeling. I never starve myself, but I do things like waiting to be hungry before eating at the start of the day. Having a healthy lunch and then waiting until dinner before eating again.

In other words, no snacking. I have learnt that feeling hungry is okay. Like you say, water can help too.

I don't have a precise weight goal, but I have a belt that has a particular notch I like to use. If my tummy gets too big and I can't comfortably wear the belt, then it's time for more care with the eating!

~Dee.

P.S. You look gorgeous in those pics.

[Linde]

You could wear a binder for the girls that would keep them nice and warm.  My breasts are not as large as yours, but I have baggy enough tops to hide them pretty well.  I put a cap on and that covers most of my head and hair.

I live alone, and I have to be able to go out when dark, and I have to do all the stuff your boyfriend does.
Guy mode is very important for me, and I hope I can do it for a long time, specifically also, because it is no source of dysphoria for me.  it actually takes my voice dysphoria away, because nobody cares whether I constantly switch between a male and a female speech pattern!

[NatalieRene]

You could wear a binder for the girls that would keep them nice and warm.  My breasts are not as large as yours, but I have baggy enough tops to hide them pretty well.  I put a cap on and that covers most of my head and hair.

I live alone, and I have to be able to go out when dark, and I have to do all the stuff your boyfriend does.
Guy mode is very important for me, and I hope I can do it for a long time, specifically also, because it is no source of dysphoria for me.  it actually takes my voice dysphoria away, because nobody cares whether I constantly switch between a male and a female speech pattern!

I don't like my voice if I go deep. I only really use it to sing Queen songs. Day to day my natural voice has always been around 180 to 200 hz. I have paper work somewhere back home from the voice training documenting my metrics.

Being male for me is a huge source of dysphoria. To the extent where I only had girl friends for when my parents came over and they where just friends I knew. Many of them would have wanted to have been mine but I wasn't emotionally available. Everything about the role was foreign and aliens to me. The only thing I was ever good at was track, shooting, martial arts and programming.

[NatalieRene]

Interesting thread Natalie!

Though a difficult time to be trying to keep the weight down. I find this time of year really challenging. There always seems to be a reason/excuse to eat too much.

I think I am resigned to putting on some kgs during December.

I have found what works best for me is getting used to feeling hungry, and embracing the feeling. I never starve myself, but I do things like waiting to be hungry before eating at the start of the day. Having a healthy lunch and then waiting until dinner before eating again.

In other words, no snacking. I have learnt that feeling hungry is okay. Like you say, water can help too.

I don't have a precise weight goal, but I have a belt that has a particular notch I like to use. If my tummy gets too big and I can't comfortably wear the belt, then it's time for more care with the eating!

~Dee.

P.S. You look gorgeous in those pics.

I keep my eating window in the day confined to roughly a five hour window and everything else is fasting. The funny thing is before I met my boyfriend that was my habit well except that I had cereal for a snack in the evening but that was after a long treadmill run so I had to maintain weight.

I didn't used to have to worry about my weight either. My weight is coming off fairly easily so it's good to know my metabolism is just as effective as ever. I just have to run a deficit for a few more months and then I can add in a snack like more fruit between meals to give me more natural sugar and fiber.

Thanks. I'm roughly 62 pounds away from being back in the same position as those photos. I should still have those clothes packed away. I'll be happy to pull them and others back out again.

[dee82]

You can do it, Natalie! Photos like that are a good motivator. It sounds like you have the attitude and the will-power.

Go girl.

~Dee.

[Linde]

I don't like my voice if I go deep. I only really use it to sing Queen songs. Day to day my natural voice has always been around 180 to 200 hz. I have paper work somewhere back home from the voice training documenting my metrics.

Being male for me is a huge source of dysphoria. To the extent where I only had girl friends for when my parents came over and they where just friends I knew. Many of them would have wanted to have been mine but I wasn't emotionally available. Everything about the role was foreign and aliens to me. The only thing I was ever good at was track, shooting, martial arts and programming.

My voice is lower than yours, somewhere between mezzo soprano and alto, but that can be age related.  It is not the pitch of my voice that gives me away, it is this stupid male speech pattern that I acquired while living as a male all those years.  I also had mostly female friends, and felt (and still do - I hate this constant pounding the chest to show who is the bigger, better guy) rather uncomfortable around many males.  It did not help that I had to attend an all male school, at which my closest friend ( knowing what I know now, I think he was also intersex or trans) and I were pretty much outsiders.
You were much more masculine than I was, I was not good at all at any sports, just dabbled a little around with basket ball, because I was so tall for those times.
My friend and I liked tinkering around, first on our bicycles, than with our mopeds, and finally with cars.  And both of us became engineers (I was a EE prior to going to med school.  And I worked for a while for Big Blue and did my fair share of programming).

But I have no dysphoria whatsoever running around as a guy, because I am still pretty much free of any gender identity, but I lean very heavy toward the female side, and I hope very much to be able to finally identify with this gender.

Well, but for the moment I am still glad that I can be a guy whenever I feel like I need to be one!

[Linde]

I didn't used to have to worry about my weight either. My weight is coming off fairly easily so it's good to know my metabolism is just as effective as ever. I just have to run a deficit for a few more months and then I can add in a snack like more fruit between meals to give me more natural sugar and fiber.

I was like you, I could gain and loose weight upon the snap of a finger.  And I was banking on this, very much, too, once I found that I was way to heavy.  All of a sudden I had to realize that age played a dirty trick on me and slowed down my metabolism.  I am still able to gain weight without any problem, but loosing it is now not that easy anymore, and I have to work hard for it, like any other mortal being of my age group has to.  Being intersex is no help at ll with this!  The typical thing, where is my intersex when I need it?  One should assume that we intersexers have magic superpower, after all, there are two genders living inside of us!  It must be my male part who is not doing his job, because like all men, they are never there when you need them! 

[NatalieRene]

When the weight won't come off you have to power through it. It's a force off will to not inhibit the laws of thermodynamics. Your body screams for food, you tell it shut up I know what I'm doing and I'm in charge. Metaphorically speaking of course.

I lost another .2 pounds or 90.7185 grams and am below 212 at 211.9 pounds or 96.116223kg. So far this month I have lost 8.2 pounds. On a side note I wish we would switch over to the metric system already. I had to learn both scales in elementary school, everywhere else is metric and yet here we are 30 years later still using the imperial system.

I ate 1295 calories and burned 3380. I drank 40.57 oz of water or 1200ml. I walked 6.97 miles or 11.21713km. It seems like I should have lost more weight so I either retained water and or my legs have more muscle. I need to start measuring my waist for days like these. Oh well at least I am now officially below 212. May I never see that number on the scale ever again.