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Support groups and dealing with misunderstanding

Started by BlueJaye, December 17, 2018, 03:00:11 PM

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BlueJaye

My wife and I have been discussing the need to be part of support groups. I will preface this by saying we are both Christians. She would like to find Christians who have transgender support groups. I have managed to find two in my area, but reading through the sites it became very, very apparent that the groups are centered on conversion therapy and not actually helping people who are transgender. They use words like "delusion" when referring to gender dysphoria.

I'm afraid this is going to be a VERY uphill battle. I see being transgender as being more akin to a medical condition than a spiritual condition. I welcome the thoughts and input of fellow Christians, but don't necessarily feel it is a requirement. If I needed treatment for colon cancer, my criteria for a support group would not be focused on matters of faith. It would be centered on finding people experiencing and living with colon cancer.

I read through some of the "testimonials" of the people supposedly "healed" by these groups and they all center on things like having been sexually abused as children and blame being transgender on that. While I am sure that some transgender people have been abused as children, I have had no such abuse and had a pretty normal and safe childhood.

I am discouraged by the idea that many seem to have that being transgender is caused by some abuse or experience early in life. My struggles with gender dysphoria go back to my earliest memories. And, though it would be anecdotal, I can attest that HRT has very positive effects for me and corrects something in me.

I guess I am just venting and kind of rambling a bit, but I feel frustrated. I feel a bit betrayed by the faith community I have been a part of for decades. I know if I go to any church affiliated groups I can expect rejection.
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DawnOday

Here is a connection to the Unitarian Church. The Unitarian Church is an ally and not judgmental. I don't know where you live but hopefully they have a congregation in your area.  https://www.uua.org/     https://www.uua.org/lgbtq
Dawn Oday

It just feels right   :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_kiss: :icon_kiss: :icon_kiss:

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First indication I was different- 1956 kindergarten
First crossdress - Asked mother to dress me in sisters costumes  Age 7
First revelation - 1982 to my present wife
First time telling the truth in therapy June 15, 2016
Start HRT Aug 2016
First public appearance 5/15/17



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Ryuichi13

#2
Quote from: DawnOday on December 17, 2018, 03:23:21 PM
Here is a connection to the Unitarian Church. The Unitarian Church is an ally and not judgmental. I don't know where you live but hopefully they have a congregation in your area.  https://www.uua.org/     https://www.uua.org/lgbtq

This isn't the first time I've heard of the UU church as being an LGBT+ ally. 

Even though I'm not Christian, it seemed like a nice place to go when we needed a place for the local "We Won't Be Erased!" rally when it suddenly started downpouring that day.  The members I talked to were all very affirming and kind. 

Ryuichi


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dee82

Hi BlueJaye,

I have a Metropolitan Community Church nearby and the congregation accepts transgender people whole-heartedly.

They are not everywhere, but you might be lucky.

Same here about the transgender = early abuse. I was not abused, and any suggested link is just coinicidental.

~Dee.

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CarlyMcx

The Lutheran and Episcopal churches have a recent history of ordaining transgender pastors.

However the only Christian sponsored transgender support group I know of is this one, located in Tustin, California:  http://www.churchofthefoothills.org/tg-rainbow/
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Ryuichi13

Quote from: dee82 on December 18, 2018, 12:01:20 AM*snip*

Same here about the transgender = early abuse. I was not abused, and any suggested link is just coinicidental.

~Dee.

Same.  I had a very happy childhood as well. 

Why do people think "you must have been abused as a child" kind of crap?  Why can't they just realize that its us being our natural-born selves instead of finding the need to blame some outside force?  ???

Cis people can be weird. 

Ryuichi


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CarlyMcx

I was never sexually abused as a child.  I was verbally, physically and psychologically abused for not being masculine enough, and believe me I tried.  But when you have a small, feminine body and you are told you have to be a boy, there are limits.  I pushed my body to those limits and beyond.  I was in six fist fights as a child, not counting martial arts classes.  I never broke a bone but I got black and blue and cut up on a regular basis.

I didn't go to law school to be a lawyer.  I went there to learn how to fight in the adult world.  And after fighting my way back from almost failing out twice and graduating with a class where two thirds did fail out, a friend called me "the toughest S.O.B. that ever walked into the place."

This is my fourth attempt at transitioning.  It's mine because I fought for it.  Evangelicals need to learn this runs way deeper than a choice or a reaction to trauma.
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BlueJaye

Quote from: Ryuichi13 on December 18, 2018, 01:03:10 PM
Same.  I had a very happy childhood as well. 

Why do people think "you must have been abused as a child" kind of crap?  Why can't they just realize that its us being our natural-born selves instead of finding the need to blame some outside force?  ???

Cis people can be weird. 

Ryuichi

I wish everyone could be as levelheaded as you.
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Alice (nym)

When faced with Christian transphobia, I've found Mark 9:42-50 useful (when pointing out the high rate of suicide in transpeople). Genesis 1:27 is too when you point out Eve wasn't created until the next chapter and she was created from a man. And a friend pointed out Galatians 3:28.

The Anglican church has recently published guidelines for the treatment of transgender people on the Church Of England website. Might be worth checking out.
Don't hate the hate... Start spreading the love.
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