Apologies to anyone that even tries to read this. TL:DR synopsis is that I had fun and everything was fine.______________________
I am such an idiot sometimes. Actually maybe most of the time? Things didn't go exactly according to plan but I did have a pretty great evening.
I didn't end up going to bed until around 10:45 Friday morning. Somehow I was motivated and stayed up jammin' tunes in my headphones, doing housework, four loads of laundry, handwashed a few delicate items and then did my nails and then nothing until they were dry enough to go to bed. I woke up about 3:00 PM and couldn't go back to sleep or really feel like I was conscious or slept enough so I stayed in bed and watched YouTube videos until about 4:30.
When I did get up I felt un-rested and lazy and there was absolutely nothing left to eat so I pooped around at the computer a while contemplating my plans and timing for the evening hoping to get my motor running enough to think about getting ready. If I didn't screw around, I could dash to the market for a few essentials and something for a quick meal but I did screw around and then began to worry I'd have to rush getting ready or was going to be late.
Damn, a long shower didn't help. Washed my hair and couldn't get the tangles out then it was a shaving day so had to do my legs and underarms. I put the water on super hot enough to turn myself nice and pink and just let it run over me hoping that would help get over my grogginess and give me some energy. Crap! The bra I had washed out the night before was still damp so I hung it in front of a fan with fingers crossed it would be dry by the time I needed it. Little things were annoying me.
Normally doing my makeup is a fun and creative thing for me I really enjoy but I wasn't really feeling it and sort of just went through the motions trying not to dawdle, geek out or obsess or I was never going to get where I was going when I wanted to. I curled my hair and pinned it up to cool. Tried on a couple alternate outfits but wasn't feeling them either so resorted to my original plan. It was already about the time I had wanted to leave, I was starving and started feeling the pressure about running late but I was also waking up more and gaining focus.
I took the pins out of my hair, let it down, arranged it and decided it needed more work so threw in a few more curls, said "meh" and hit it with a little hair spray. Not bad, I can live with that but now with a little more motivation and functioning brain cells, the makeup job I'd half slept through needed a little fine tuning. Since it was now the time I wanted to be there, I reconciled with myself that I was just going to be late and that was okay so I did geek out and obsess a little until I was satisfied enough with how I looked. It was now an hour past the time I wanted to arrive.
Finally ready, vapes filled up and charged and all the crap I lug around crammed into my purse to leave but there's no way I can go out and drink anything alcoholic without having eaten a single thing all day. I'll hate myself for it but I stop at McDonalds for a basic cheeseburger and small Coke and pull into the parking lot to take a few deep breaths, compose myself after feeling rushed and stressed and eat my uninspired dry burger without wolfing it down knowing I was ravenous. I try to remember the last time I ate bread? While I'm sitting there, I start getting text messages from an out of state friend and former Susan's member asking me how the band was or if I'd been accosted by scooter trash? Confessing I wasn't even there yet, I was playfully given a ration of crap that I deflected saying it was diva privilege to be fashionably late. She had read my first post in this thread and teased me about writing novels. I had completely forgotten about texting my local friends or maybe I just felt brave enough to go it alone?
I got there at 10:30. I'd never seen the parking lot so full and ended up parking in the back 40 I didn't even know was parking. As soon as I got out of my car, I could hear the band so knew it was going to be loud AF inside. As I walk to the side door, some drunkish guy walking out tries to talk to me and I'm thinking, "oh great, here we go" but with a quick acknowledgment, I head for the door and step inside.
I pause for a moment and scope things out wondering which way to go? The place is packed. Really packed. I hunt for somewhere at the bar I can squeeze in and order a drink. Although out of sight of the band, I find a gap to stand and look around. I know absolutely no one. I had never even seen the four bartenders before but I finally ordered a pint of domestic light swill and sort of stood my ground for a while checking out the people and to see who was looking at me while trying to avoid serious eye contact with anyone. I attempted to not my nervousness show and did so fairly successfully.
The crowd wasn't quite as bad as I had expected from previous visits, there were no obvious bikers or gangbangers but there were a lot of single guys milling about that all seemed really big and intimidating nonetheless. Most of the women I could see were part of a couple but still I went through the mental process that I think we all do sizing up "the competition" trying to gauge how I ranked amongst the girls most like me in style and presentation. Who is prettier in other words, not that I'm really critical of others or judgmental or horribly insecure about my own looks but just curious where I fit into the picture. Of the five or six women that I thought were pretty, well put together or wearing something to look good, I didn't feel any of them had a whole lot on me so my confidence was bolstered to think I was somewhat in the ballpark.
I found a gap at the end of the bar in view of the band and the dance floor and filtered my way through the masses to occupy it. Almost immediately, I catch the eye of the guitar playing guy I'd gone there to see and he gives me a nod, a wink and a big smile. Late and I'd missed the entire first set but he was happy to see me. The guy standing next to me keeps trying to make eye contact and wants to make conversation but I ignore him as long as I can then finally he does start talking. I'm polite but not encouraging.
The band plays for over an hour without taking a break and I'm wanting my friend to come rescue me. I order another pint. Holy crap $4.25 for tasteless swamp water! That's ridiculous and another reason I don't like this place but finally the band does take a break and my guitar playing friend beelines it over and gives me a big hug. We chat for 15 minutes. He asks me where my other man friend is, my not boyfriend boyfriend, the guy I was hoping wouldn't be there and I tell him I don't know and don't care. Although really not, we've been assumed to be a couple for seven or eight months but these last couple of weeks, I've decided I'm really done with his lack of moving forward and hopefully for the last and final time will dump his sorry ass and move on myself. I made sure guitar man, I'll call him John, knows me and this other guy are just friends. (it's cycled between friends I wanted to sleep with and being enemies depending on my tolerance for his stupidity but I didn't mention this)
The band returns to the stage to start their last set. The guy next to me asks for my number but I decline. Then he asks me to dance but I don't do that either. The band plays a lot of good tunes. My boy can really play and I was impressed. They have a female lead singer but he sang lead or solo on at least half a dozen songs. I could tell he was keeping an eye out for me and I was digging the whole thing and having fun. Sometime after midnight, the chatty fellow next to me leaves about the time I spy a table near the stage had emptied out I quickly occupy because I was tired of standing up.
I try to take some video but none of it comes out. I manage to snap a few stills but people dancing keep getting in the way. Two more guys ask me to dance. A girl asks me to dance. I hate to dance so I continued to nurse my second pint because I sure as hell wasn't going to spend $4.25 not including a tip for another one and enjoyed the music.
At 1:00 AM, the band finished their last set and I wanted out of there. I talked to my musical friend for a few minutes and he asked me if I was heading to my regular watering hole where I know him from. He said if they got packed up in time, that he would meet me there before they locked the doors at 2:00 if he could.
With a good 2nd wind going and it being the time of the day I'm usually at my peak, I zip down to my neighborhood pub, my home away from home, to find the place mostly empty but I'm totally jazzed my closest male friend and confidante, a guy I absolutely love and adore and his new girlfriend that's becoming my new bestie were there and they were totally stoked to see me. This was the couple I was going to text to meet me at the other place but didn't.
He wraps his arms around me in a bear hug. He's almost a foot taller than I am and he picks me up off the floor, kisses me all over my cheek about 10 times, tells everybody loudly how much he loves me and doesn't put me down until he realizes I'm turning blue because I can't breathe (not really) and remembers I'm an old woman then asks if he hurt me. (He didn't and can hug and kiss me all he wants!) He is so sweet and I think we both know if I wasn't 24 years older than him that we would be a thing. His new gf hugs me and gives me a kiss on the cheek too then she drags me outside on the patio for some girl talk because she knows me and her new boyfriend are tight and really close.
Back inside, the three of us do shots, laugh, sing to the jukebox and more or less cuddle as they're both very physical and affectionate. She's as damn cute as he is and I'm happy that she makes him happy as he was a wreck for months after breaking up with his last girlfriend. I was about to give up hope but about 10 minutes before closing, in walks my guitar man and I get another big hug from him. We talked about his gig and I showed him some of the blurry pictures I took.
(I further blurred out his face)
The two guys know each other so the four of us hung out together after the doors were locked (we're special!) so we didn't get out of there until 2:40, of course with more hugs all around.
I came home elated, happy and a little tipsy. I'd stepped out of my comfort zone that really wasn't the big deal I thought it was going to be. I am pretty brave, scored points with somebody new I'm anxious to get to know better that seems to be interested and got to spend time with two of my favorite people. It was an awesome night!
Back in my lair, I ended up farting around. I washed out like 30 makeup brushes, ate some refried beans because that's all I had to eat and tried to take a selfie or two just because I hate photographs and am trying to desensitize myself to the process. I don't do faces so had to blur it up a little but this one came out half decent even though for some reason I wasn't wearing my glasses?
Basically, I'm calling this one "mission accomplished".
PS
"J" if you're reading, I probably wouldn't have written this novel if you hadn't teased me about the first one! Quit stalking me too! Ha!
