Names and Pronouns

[Zoey421]

When I told a friend of mine I came out MtF, she asked me if I had a preferred name and pronoun. I know these are important questions but I not ready to be called a different name or use her/she pronouns. I have been out only 5 weeks and I feel it is too early to make these type of decisions. When is it appropriate to make these changes? Zoey

[Linde]

When I told a friend of mine I came out MtF, she asked me if I had a preferred name and pronoun. I know these are important questions but I not ready to be called a different name or use her/she pronouns. I have been out only 5 weeks and I feel it is too early to make these type of decisions. When is it appropriate to make these changes? Zoey

Only you can really decide this.  I changed my name and pronouns when I presented female most of the time.  it is funny, I still present male for certain situations, and my friends now address the male me with my new female name and with she! 

[Ryuichi13]

I've been Ryuichi since 2004 when my friends said that I "act like the character" from an anime.  So I'm used to being called Ryu or Ryuichi.

When I first started asking to be called he/him/his, it felt weird for like a year or more.  I've been called by my proper pronouns for nearly 2 years now, and it still makes me smile when someone gets it right! 

To be honest, I simply got sick of being misgendered and misnamed, and now when that happens, I correct them immediately.  Even when my parents misname and misgender me.  

I suppose my point is, when you feel like its okay for you, then change your name and pronouns.  It may be something you need to build yourself up to, or it may be something you have to fight for (I still occasionally get misgendered).  Either way, the choice is yours to make.

Ryuichi

[dee82]

When I told a friend of mine I came out MtF, she asked me if I had a preferred name and pronoun.

You've got a nice friend to have them ask you that. They must be "aware".

I  think it took me a couple of months and coincided with me starting to make appointments to see a gender therapist. I told myself I wanted a new name to be used when I saw professionals. So I went through a conscious process of name picking.

~Dee.

[Linde]

You've got a nice friend to have them ask you that. They must be "aware".

I  think it took me a couple of months and coincided with me starting to make appointments to see a gender therapist. I told myself I wanted a new name to be used when I saw professionals. So I went through a conscious process of name picking.

~Dee.

I applied a different rationale why I picked my new name.  My last name is as
Viking as they come (no, not a "son or sen" at the end, but a location indicator of the largest Viking city ever build).  My first name was ancient Nordic, too (predating the Vikings).  I did not want to change my initials, email, etc., and wanted to stay with a very Nordic first name.  Because of this, I choose the female version of my former male name.  Both names are not very common in northern Europe either, and in the US nobody would know anyway which one of them is the male or female version.  This allows me to slowly drift into the female version.  The female version has the advantage that it can be shortened into Linde (that is the way my friends call me now), while the male version cannot be shortened, and always was a tongue breaker fro all speakers of non Germanic languages (English included).
My life got easier with my new nick name!

[KathyLauren]

It is entirely up to you to decide what name you want to use and when you want people to start using it and the appropriate pronouns.  I picked my screen name here on Susan's first, while I was still exploring.  I started using it in real life when I joined a support group. 

My wife and I had long discussions about what name I should pick.  (She was lobbying for "Loula".  Ick! - No offense to any Loulas out there.)  But I finally settled on using my screen name, Kathy (middle name Lauren), as my actual name about the time I went full-time.  It is now my legal name.

[Zoey421]

I there are two names I prefer, Zoey being one of them, and getting the courage to use it my therapy sessions, individual and group, is an interesting idea. I don't think I am ready for changing my name in public and professional spheres ... it is too early in the process for me. Thanks, girls, for the support. Zoey

[Linde]

I there are two names I prefer, Zoey being one of them, and getting the courage to use it my therapy sessions, individual and group, is an interesting idea. I don't think I am ready for changing my name in public and professional spheres ... it is too early in the process for me. Thanks, girls, for the support. Zoey

I did not do an official name change yet, I am starting slowly to change my credit cards etc.  But it is not that urgent for me, because, as I said before, hardly anybody would know if my dead name is male or female.
I plan the legal name and gender change once I have had my Orchidektomie done earlier next year.

Just do it at the speed and in the manner you feel comfortable with.  Everybody is different, and wants different steps done at different intervals of the transition.
I wish you lots of luck and strength to continue on the exciting journey to be come your real self!

Linde

[Zoey421]

I did not do an official name change yet, I am starting slowly to change my credit cards etc.  But it is not that urgent for me, because, as I said before, hardly anybody would know if my dead name is male or female.
I plan the legal name and gender change once I have had my Orchidektomie done earlier next year.

Just do it at the speed and in the manner you feel comfortable with.  Everybody is different, and wants different steps done at different intervals of the transition.
I wish you lots of luck and strength to continue on the exciting journey to be come your real self!

Linde

Thank you, Linde ...

[Zoey421]

I have been giving more thought to what names I would like to eventually use and have settled on Zoey Catherine. Zoey because it is a rather unusual name and seems carefree. Catherine because this was my mother's name. I don't know when I will start using the names and asking people to call me Zoey and indicate a preferred pronoun of she/her. I think I well away from this point ... there are lots of miles still required to come out to more people, my kids especially.

Sisters, how long did it take you to begin using a new name once we came out?

Zoey

[Linde]

My dead name was very Nordic (from times way before one was even thinking of the Vikings), my last name is very Viking, and I wanted to find a name that would not require me to change my initials, and would be close in meaning to my dead name. 
I chose the female version of it (Diet = King, Queen).  And because of the fact that hardly anybody here in the US knew whether my dead name was male or not, I started to change on a sliding scale. 
All my credit cards and other legal stuff are still on my dead name, but if I sign a little sloppy, nobody would know the difference anyway. 
I use the Abbreviation of my new name, Linde, only with friends and family.  Because of the uniqueness of my dead name, it does not bother me if people call me by it, as long as they gender me correctly.

I changed my name at the time I was presenting as female for most of the time.  I plan for a legal name and gender change as early next year as possible.

[Ryuichi13]

I have been giving more thought to what names I would like to eventually use and have settled on Zoey Catherine. Zoey because it is a rather unusual name and seems carefree. Catherine because this was my mother's name. I don't know when I will start using the names and asking people to call me Zoey and indicate a preferred pronoun of she/her. I think I well away from this point ... there are lots of miles still required to come out to more people, my kids especially.

Sisters, how long did it take you to begin using a new name once we came out?

Zoey

I'm not a "sister" but a brother (I'm FTM), but I started using my chosen name first, and then only two years ago did I change my pronouns.

Start using your chosen name/pronouns whenever you feel comfortable, with whomever you feel comfortable with is my advise.  I started with new friends I met by introducing myself to them as Ryu and went on from there.

I suppose the bottom line is that its your name, your pronouns, you and only you can decide when to start using them.

Good luck sister!

(Brother) Ryuichi

Sent from my SM-G930P using Tapatalk

[Zoey421]

I'm not a "sister" but a brother (I'm FTM), but I started using my chosen name first, and then only two years ago did I change my pronouns.

Start using your chosen name/pronouns whenever you feel comfortable, with whomever you feel comfortable with is my advise.  I started with new friends I met by introducing myself to them as Ryu and went on from there.

I suppose the bottom line is that its your, your pronouns, you and only you can decide when to start using them.

Good luck sister!

(Brother) Ryuichi

Sent from my SM-G930P using Tapatalk

Thank you, brother, Ryuichi, for the reminder that I'm in control of how I want to be named, use of pronouns and when to choose the time.

Hugs Zoey

[Ryuichi13]

Thank you, brother, Ryuichi, for the reminder that I'm in control of how I want to be named, use of pronouns and when to choose the time.

Hugs Zoey

Anytime, sister Zoey!  Just remember that, no matter what, you are in control of what you do, how far you transition, how you live and how you react to others.  No one else.  To quote He-Man, you have the power! 

Ryuichi