Genderqueer LESS conspicuous than trans??

[randim]

As anyone who has read my thread may know, I have recently starting going out some wearing a wig along with more makeup.  Previously, I would wear feminine shoes and tops and carry a purse, but nothing with the hair and just some foundation for the face -- mostly just a man head from the neck up.  I would have thought I would stand out less with a more conventional female presentation, but I seem to draw more stares and double-takes wearing the wig than before.  That's not a problem but it does puzzle me.  Seems like it should be the other way around. Does that make any sense?

[Ryuichi13]

Well, looking at your pic, you look quite female, so I'm willing to bet that you "being a man from the neck up" is bound to draw some stares.

Why not try going all the way female the next time  you go out to see if you are comfortable doing so?  I'd love to hear how you feel afterwards!

Ryuichi

[Maid Marion]

Maybe the makeup is drawing attention?  Many of the GGs at work are pretty low key about that.

It could also be that the purse and top are so strongly gendered that they don't need to look at your face, they already know you are presenting as a woman with that quick glance.

I gender strongly as a woman with my size and shape.  You just don't see short guys with a thin hourglass figure and a full head of hair!

[randim]

I don't think the makeup is too much, although I don't think my lipstick is exactly the right color for me. The experiment continues. It is true that the wig made its debut along with a larger, more obvious purse and riding boots.  I wouldn't think the boots are any more obvious than ballet flats, but maybe they're easier to pick up on at a casual glance.  Or, and this is quite likely the answer, I just feel a lot more more self-conscious taking it up a notch and am much more sensitive to people's reactions. I dunno.  Whatever it is, if a few stares is the price for presenting more feminine, I'm ready to pay it. The last time I was out I needed to get back to male mode before going home and was sitting in my car taking my wig and makeup off knowing I'd need to change back into male clothes.  And God, I hated every second of it.

@Ryuichi

Bless you child.  You warm an old transwoman's heart. 

[Ryuichi13]

I don't think the makeup is too much, although I don't think my lipstick is exactly the right color for me. The experiment continues. It is true that the wig made its debut along with a larger, more obvious purse and riding boots.  I wouldn't think the boots are any more obvious than ballet flats, but maybe they're easier to pick up on at a casual glance.  Or, and this is quite likely the answer, I just feel a lot more more self-conscious taking it up a notch and am much more sensitive to people's reactions. I dunno.  Whatever it is, if a few stares is the price for presenting more feminine, I'm ready to pay it. The last time I was out I needed to get back to male mode before going home and was sitting in my car taking my wig and makeup off knowing I'd need to change back into male clothes.  And God, I hated every second of it.

@Ryuichi

Bless you child.  You warm an old transwoman's heart. 

Trust me, we might be closer in age than you may think! 

I say the next time you go out, you go full-on female!  In for a penny, in for a pound!  You can do it! 

Many of us have been there, afraid of what others see, but really not knowing that we pass, not that passing really matters.  But if you look anything like your icon pic, you should be fine! 

Ryuichi

[Beverly Anne]

At the risk of making you more self conscious, it's probably the wig and not you. When I first started presenting female in public, I had short hair, so I tried a wig. The wig was a major fail, and I found that presenting with my real crop, even short, was much more effective. A receding hairline may require a wig, in which case professional assistance in selecting and styling the right wig can make a world of difference. In my case, with the DIY wig, it looked like a furry animal crawled on top of my head and died. 

[randim]

I think it is probably more paranoia than wig. I didn't get the wig over the internet or anything. I got it at a good shop that works with trans clients and tried on a bunch.  I relied heavily on the owners' advice, since what I don't know about hair is profound. 

By way of reference, this is a close-up (always a mistake!) of male-mode me:

https://imgur.com/m7LAXAd

and a pix with the wig on

https://imgur.com/YxLrNXk

and the profile pix sized more realistically

https://imgur.com/vcyMu8M

I'm not passing either way, but it does seem less incongruous with the wig, to me at least.  I guess you could get into feminist theory and argue that male privilege is something of a shield when you're more obviously a man dressed funny than a more ambiguous presentation.  Not a big deal one way or the other, but it did seem curious.

[KathyLauren]

A receding hairline may require a wig, in which case professional assistance in selecting and styling the right wig can make a world of difference.

The important part of @Beverly Anne's comment is the bit about styling.  You have started out right by buying a good quality wig.  However, all wigs are designed to be styled and trimmed before they are worn in public, so they are made with too much hair.  The most common wig fail is not getting it trimmed and wearing too much hair.  So getting it styled is important for a natural look that does not attract unwanted attention.

My wife complained a lot about my favourite wig, to the point where I stopped wearing it.  She had a hard time describing what was wrong with it, but she did persuade me to take it to a good stylist.  Between my wife and the stylist, they agreed that what it needed was a lot less hair.  The stylist trimmed it within an inch of its life, and thinned out the excess.  It is the one in my avatar pic, and now it looks good.

[Beverly Anne]

The important part of @Beverly Anne's comment is the bit about styling.  You have started out right by buying a good quality wig.  However, all wigs are designed to be styled and trimmed before they are worn in public, so they are made with too much hair.  The most common wig fail is not getting it trimmed and wearing too much hair.  So getting it styled is important for a natural look that does not attract unwanted attention.

My wife complained a lot about my favourite wig, to the point where I stopped wearing it.  She had a hard time describing what was wrong with it, but she did persuade me to take it to a good stylist.  Between my wife and the stylist, they agreed that what it needed was a lot less hair.  The stylist trimmed it within an inch of its life, and thinned out the excess.  It is the one in my avatar pic, and now it looks good.

It looks very natural on you, and you pass well, not that you needed me to tell you that. When I'm out shopping or whatever, which is often, I can spot a trans girl by her wig, when otherwise she may have gone unnoticed. I've seen some real doozies. Cheers!

[Maid Marion]

That makes a lot of sense.  Your hair needs to match your age.  Even if you color it people expect it to thin and the  hairline to recede if you appear older.

[Ryuichi13]

*snip*

and a pix with the wig on

https://imgur.com/YxLrNXk

and the profile pix sized more realistically

https://imgur.com/vcyMu8M

I'm not passing either way, but it does seem less incongruous with the wig, to me at least.  I guess you could get into feminist theory and argue that male privilege is something of a shield when you're more obviously a man dressed funny than a more ambiguous presentation.  Not a big deal one way or the other, but it did seem curious.

I was correct, you ARE a pretty woman! 

I really think that wig looks fine, but I'm a guy so what do I know?

Ryuichi

[randim]

Thanks Ryuichi.  I see you are proof 'tis better to have a good heart than good eyes.