I've had quite a journey figuring out my sexuality... and my gender. They were both damaged/complicated, and for basically the same reasons.
Short answer: I'm only into women, which makes me a lesbian.
However when I say that it's a slight simplification that is probably not gonna be popular here. Hence why I hesitate. I'll try to explain it as kindly as I can. It appears my sexual attraction only goes to other bio females. And that although there's a strong preference for cis women, on very rare occasion I do get attracted to trans men too. I'm sorry, but it doesn't make me bisexual or actually into men in general, because my attraction goes to sex, not gender. Trans guys simply slip into my radar occasionally because of their physical reality. I'll most likely only date cis women regardless (cause of other reasons), cause that's to whom 99% or more of my attraction goes, which is why I simplify my answer to those +99% in this particular post. Had it been my word choice I would have said females or afabs. My clumsy labeling is only meant for me to be true to myself over being kind to people I do not even intend to date. I do struggle to explain my newly discovered sexuality in ways that won't make it seem like I'm a total bigot, while also not stepping over myself to please others. It is my observation that I'm very exclusively homosexual and that can often to some degree slip into unpopular territory when it comes to trans people. I do try to be sensitive. And I don't want drama. But anyhow, let's move on.
It's been a very intense year in those two departments, gender and sexuality for me. As much as it has shocked me, I started this year thinking I was a gay trans man and I'm ending this year knowing I'm a lesbian cis woman.
My lesbian discovery was very recent and I'm still not sure if I can quite comprehend it. My past traumas that I left unprocessed for most of my life have really knocked me around, and since digging into them and sorting them out, I've been hit with one shocking realisation after the other, as I'm finally starting to put the pieces together and get somewhat of a full picture of myself. It's quite amazing to "see" myself getting put together like a puzzle and the clarity it brings.
All my life I simply assumed and took for granted that I was into men, and didn't even think to question it. But I kept questioning my attraction to women, over and over. I kept unsuccessfully suppressing my attraction to women, which made me switch between calling myself bi and gay as a trans man. In detransition however, I quite quickly started accepting and being fine with that I like other women, but struggled to accept myself as bisexual.
I was right to be skeptical about my presumed bisexuality, but I should have looked into and questioned both those attractions, and compared them more closely. Cause as soon as I did, a very clear pattern revealed itself and I didn't even need to go through everything until I realised that... no, I've never actually been into men, only women.
Considering I've only been in relationships with men, been sexually assaulted by men, lost my virginity by rape by a man, and spent the past 13 years trying to repeat those traumas with self-harming sex with men despite never actually having been into them (there were definitely signs of my lack of attraction all along, I just didn't get it)... eventually I just hit my breaking point and I got instantly repulsed by the thought of being sexual with any man.
And I'm being plagued by really nasty intrusive thoughts about men that are really just... flickering images and feelings of random men abusing me in various sexual ways. Very disturbing and upsetting, and it's every day. It feels like I unkowingly traumatised myself further through all those years (my entire adult life, from loss of virginity to a few months ago) and it finally caught up with me. I guess it's just hard to come to terms with.
However there is a strong positive side to this as well, which is I no longer have any wish to harm myself with sex, or with men, but rather only want to heal my damaged sexuality and start from scratch with it, but with women instead. I don't regret having "tried" it with men, as I'm sure that's a valuable experience to have, but I do kinda wish I had listened to myself sooner.
Also I'm fine with being a lesbian, like that's alright and I don't fight it at all. I really like it cause it feels like a long lost part of me that I've finally found and brought to my heart. It's hard for me to understand how it could have all gone so bad and how I can possibly repair all this damage, but my lesbianism in itself I can only think of as beautiful and good for me.
But I digress. Back on topic:
Since the gender/sex categories I belong to are detransitioners and women... I have noticed that most detrans women are lesbians, however as trans men they were (most of them) very masculine and seeing themselves as straight, and then in detransition reclaimed their butch lesbian identities. In a very over-generalising way, of course. If there is a common way to detransition as a bio female, my observations tell me it's most likely that. During earlier times, it was far less accepted to be gay or bi (and feminine) as a trans man, which perhaps kept more of them in the closet one way or another. That is of course related to how it then most commonly turns out for detrans women, as they come from having lived as and been seen as trans men.
My experience very much differs from what I can conclude might maybe be the "generic detrans woman" narrative. Most prominently I differ because I have "reverse" dysphoria (medically induced instead of the neurological kind, and previously used to have the trauma-induced dysmorphia kind; and it seems common that detrans women in general have some kind of dysphoria targetting their natal parts), but with my sexuality specifically I differ because I'm a femme and not butch, and I differ because I lived as a gay/bi man in my transition and didn't know about my lesbianism until after having begun to detransition.
And as a person in general I'd say my story became very overly complicated, as I went from thinking I was bisexual female to bisexual male, then back and forth between gay and bi male, then to straight female, to bisexual female, to homosexual female. That was quite a ride, I'm exhausted.