It Has Begun

[MadisonJoan]

Call me Madison.

I have begun to question my gender identity.  I am an autistic person who quite possibly feels more female than male.  I just don't believe I can truly live life as a male.  I'm 31 years old, and I have a girlfriend.  But I feel like I'm more female than male.  I'm beginning this questioning because I feel like I could never thrive with being male.  I tend to possibly have a more female psychology than a male one.  I feel like females are more nuturing and compassionate while men have to live with this faux-macho bull->-bleeped-<- that has made me feel inadequate.  And I don't want to feel inadequate.  I wish I was born a female.  I'm sick of being male and having to be bellicose, paranoid, and I just feel like I don't cut it as a man in general.  I feel like I respect and cherish the feminine way more than the masculine. I can't be an Alpha male, I don't want to be a Beta or an Omega.  In addition I feel way more sensitive to things which is a female trait. 

[Janes Groove]

Welcome to the site Madison.

And bon voyage on your transgender journey.

[Michelle_P]

Welcome, Madison.

You've already done more than most people ever will, in actually questioning your gender identity.  This sort of deep self-examination is worthwhile no matter the outcome.  When we do this we learn so much about ourselves.

I'd suggest working with a therapist if possible, and preferably a gender therapist.  They can guide this self examination as we discover ourselves and our needs in moving to become our authentic selves, whether or not that involves being a transgender person.

[Maid Marion]

Hi Madision,

Welcome!

I think a therapist is especially important if you have multiple issues, such as autism in addition to gender issues.  It is hard enough to sort out one issue on your own, never mind two or more.

I don't see one gender as better than another.  They both have their good and bad points.  I think if you go to an autism forum you will find that females autistics have a lot of issues keeping friends and maintaining relationships with coworkers.  In a lot of places females are expected to spend a lot of time looking good, as they are constantly judged by other women.  And expected to engage is social chatter.

Marion

[KathyLauren]

Hi, Madison!

Welcome to Susan's Place.

I second the recommendation to talk to a gender therapist.  That is the best and safest way to explore who you really are and what you would like to do about it.

Please feel free to stop by the Introductions forum to tell the members about yourself.  Here is some information that we like to share with new members:

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[MadisonJoan]

Thank you beautiful people.