FFS vs. BA? Thoughts on passing?

[Beverly Anne]

I add a picture here, so we know what we are talking about

This is me, in work mode as a nurse I remind you. I need to keep my hair tied together. In civil life, I have shoulder length hair.

And I know, pictures are difficult. So many different things affecting it. This was taken 2 days ago, 1 year and 1 month of HRT.

Don´t quote the picture, I will remove it later.

But what would you do with FFS for my face? I honestly don´t know, what I would change? Bigger lips perhaps...?

More hair to forehead, yes that I know is a problem, but that comes from genes. My mother had a similar hairline already at age of 19. I have her wedding picture on my bookshelf

I think your face is more feminine than many cis women I've seen. My face has gotten more feminine with HRT, but I'd like to have a little tightening here and there to make it more so. I'm in nursing as well and have to wear my shoulder length hair in a pony tail and only use light makeup. I've found that good eye makeup can make a world of difference, and as long as it's rather conservative, as in my avatar, there isn't a problem with it violating policy. My only suggestion to assist with feminizing in your case is to work on your eye makeup routine. Otherwise, I think you look great!

[Colleen_definitely]

If you're gagging to get something cut on, the only things I would bother with are your brow bossing and maybe your nose. 

All in all I'd say you're doing pretty well as is. HRT will help soften things up some more but it can't change hard tissue like a skull.

[GordonG]

Oh, I don't know about that... The "How-Old" website says that you're a 28 year-old female.
--AshleyP

Interesting web site but I wouldn't put much credence in it. I put in 6 pics of myself and got 6 totally different results; 25 - 86.

[CindyLouFromCO]

You look great for only one year HRT.  In two years or 3 you will look even more female.  Your cheeks and skin are great! 

At this point I would just look at forehead and maybe nose. 

You could do with a lip lift with fat injections into the lip.  Chin implant or chin work of some sort to get rid of the square looking chin.

Honestly though you look very feminine.  The second group of stuff is more for looking prettier.  And that's all been put into my head from seeing ffs doctors.  You are pretty.

You're a very lucky girl.

Just stay with HRT for another 1.5 years.  Save money.  Then do what you want.  Either way you will end up with more money than you have today and be more feminine looking.


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[Mendi]

Thank you all for kind words!

I know the issue is mostly in my head, because I most of the time just see the old male staring back from the mirror. Like nothing hasn´t happened! Now and then I even see still a beard, even when I know that is impossible

Occasionally from the mirror stares back a female and I like what I see.

I think hardest part of transitioning, is getting the reflection from mirror matching what is the reality. That is hard!

Patience

[Sarah.VanDistel]

Hi!

Here are my two cents, for what they're worth...

I'd wait at least 2 years under HRT before doing BA, because there's a good chance that your natural breasts will keep growing along that timespan (it has clearly been the case for me). How long one has to be under HRT is not that relevant before FFS.

In my opinion, for passing and relieving dysphoria, FFS is much more of a priority than BA. There are many cis women with flat chests and no one pays attention, but a masculine face on a woman, on the other hand, tends to get much more second looks.

In my case, I did FFS + tummy tuck + hip liposculpture after 1 year under full dose HRT. Together with a hair transplant and laser+electrolysis, this allowed me to achieve passability ASAP (including using a swimsuit on the beach without getting awkward second looks). Just 2,5 months from now (which will be after 2 years and 1 month under HRT) I'll be undergoing SRS and BA during the same intervention.

And I'm happy... [emoji4]

Warm hugs, Sarah

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[Allison S]

Mendi, you sound exactly like me and I'm at 15 months hrt... Thing is, my nose and brow bossing and maybe jaw/chin are issues for me. My mom actually has similar brow bossing at me and she's 65, but none of my sisters do and my dad doesn't I don't think... I still see it being more visible on me since I was born male and that along with my nose really bothers me [emoji22] so I know the feeling, and even places I choose to sit is decided by avoiding people seeing my left side of my face... I'm insecure about that side showing my flaws more and people (well guys) treating me differently because of it. I also commute to a very big city and people aren't shy with staring. All in all ffs seems like a life saver to me to be honest

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[luckygirl]

Mendi, you sound exactly like me and I'm at 15 months hrt... Thing is, my nose and brow bossing and maybe jaw/chin are issues for me. My mom actually has similar brow bossing at me and she's 65, but none of my sisters do and my dad doesn't I don't think... I still see it being more visible on me since I was born male and that along with my nose really bothers me [emoji22] so I know the feeling, and even places I choose to sit is decided by avoiding people seeing my left side of my face... I'm insecure about that side showing my flaws more and people (well guys) treating me differently because of it. I also commute to a very big city and people aren't shy with staring. All in all ffs seems like a life saver to me to be honest

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I agree Allison, but you know what? There's some very beautiful women out there with some very male markers. So there is that. I think smooth skin and feminine voice goes so much further. I've seen people and wondered and they open their mouths and it removes all doubt one way or the other. Philosophically of course. Who cares, ya know? cuz' there are some very obvious trans-women out there that are just sooooooo beautiful. Someday soon it's gonna be totally cool to be the third sex and we'll be judged on our character, That will be nice, nice, nice.

[CindyLouFromCO]

Maybe a BA will be more important to you to help with dysphoria instead of passing?

Body dysphoria can be hard in the bathtub, or after a shower.  Or getting ready for work or going to bed.

If you prefer a BA I would still give it another year of HRT and let them grow more if you can handle the wait.

[Mendi]

I think I will take the BA next summer. These moments of some misgendering are just moments where I get into dispair.

Now after few days, I feel again ok and even like the way I look. But those moments of dispair, just make me feel like I wanna get a completely new head 

I´ve been told by guys that I´m pretty, sexy etc etc...of course they do know that I´m ts, but that doesn´t really bother me that much. I rather be open who I am if someone wants to know.

But I think the BA just is more gender confirming to me, even when face is important too, but I´m very afraid of starting to cut my face, because I know that the view that I have about myself, is not completely real or true and starting to have face surgery probably just means for me, that there is no end in sight for that. I´ve just seen too many very pretty young ts girls getting face surgery, when they didn´t need it. They were sexy and very good looking, but like me, they couldn´t see it themselves from the mirror. That´s the saddest part of this transitioning, that it´s very difficult to see the correct reflection from mirror.

[Maid Marion]

Maybe you aren't being misgendered.  Instead, you may be the subject of gas lighting by mentally unstable people with an ax to grind?

We have a similar situation at work.  Management makes controversial decisions and customers take it out on the paid staff.

[CindyLouFromCO]

I was reading popsugar today and saw this.

She is cis, but I probably have bigger boobs than she does.

Her face indicates to me she is cis.  Her boobs tell me nothing.




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[reborn]

You look female to me, at least in the picture. Hairline lowering, forehead reconstruction, orbital rims, nose job, lip lift and chin surgery will certainly make you more feminine and pretty but to my perception you look female already

[Wendi]

You look great Mendi.

If I was you I'd skip the FFS since you already look female. I see you mentioned BA next summer. I think that's a wise choice because you'll have more natural growth with HRT by then and that far out you might see you don't need it.

[Mendi]

I booked a BA next July 26th at PAI. Going to take a holiday also in Thailand. Three weeks first travelling there and then a boob job, before going home 

At that point I have been on HRT for 21 months.

These will probably grow still, but I doubt that they achieve the measurement that I want. Not that I´m looking anything huge, but noticable boobs, because at the moment I don´t really feel comfortable of going to swimming hall etc, because basically I am quite flat chested. The boobs are just so separated.