Moni, Ann, and everyone who has been so kind as to wish me well, on this thread,
Thank you for your concern. All is well in my world.
My initial HRT appointment was just a few days ago. The staff were very friendly and supportive, and gave my wife and me plenty of time to ask questions and consider the choices. In the end, I walked out with the prescriptions already sent in to my pharmacy. I never expected this to happen so fast!
So my HRT has only just started and I doubt it has had any real effect on me yet. Still, I feel so happy. In fact, I cannot remember ever feeling happy like this and so a part of the world. For once, I feel as though my lifetime, and my body, can be perfect for me. I feel as though my body is finally beginning to express my true self. I feel increasingly comfortable being out in public, comfortable in my clothing choices, and comfortable that how I choose to look is how I should look. (Is this what non-trans people feel like all the time?!)
In some small way, this is like being able to go back to that point, when I was a very young child and first experiencing gender dysphoria, and taking the other path... the one where my gender and physical sex were in perfect alignment. It's as if all the dysphoria-related unhappiness that came between that moment and the HRT appointment just vanished in a puff of smoke. Who knows if this feeling will last. But even so, I've gotten to a place where, as recently as a few months ago, I never imagined even reaching for.
During the lead-up to Christmas, I told my story, by letter, to several of my old friends. One response was a transperson's dream: immediate and fully supporting. He couldn't have been more helpful and encouraging. The other response was strange and disappointing, coming, as it did, from someone who had once been such an excellent friend. He completely ignored my coming out story; it was as if those paragraphs of my letter had never been written. I suppose everybody who comes out has a story or three like that (or worse).
A few months ago I couldn't foresee if coming out and transitioning would turn out to be the right thing to do or if it it would be a mistake. I finally decided that I would just take one step at a time. And if completing a step left me feeling healed and energized, I'd know that it was a step in the right direction. If not, that would be the end of it. By this measure, every step so far, especially HRT, has turned out to have been exactly the right step to take.
Transitioning has been a very healing experience for me!
I hope everything is going well with you. I'm looking forward to hearing more of your stories.
Beth
