HRT Concerns and Fears

[JannaLM]

Hi everyone!

After a bit of a hiatus, I am back online and I have some news.

I met with my therapist for the first time last week and she was super nice! I really like her a lot and I opened up to her very easily. Part of the way through our first session she asked if I would be interested in HRT and GRS at some point in tbe future, and without hesitation I said yes I would be.

She is willing to refer me to a doctor for HRT. All I need to do is send her an email asking for it and now all of a sudden I am very hesitant. I really do think I would like to start hormones, but I have this voice in the back of my head saying "What if you regret it? What if this isn't what you are supposed to do?"

Now I'm scared and nervous because I've seen some horror stories about transgender folks regretring their transition, and now I am scared that what if I end up being one of those people?

I'd like any advice you can give, and I'll keep you updated on what is going on with me! It's good to be back!

Kisses!
-Janna

[AnneK]

I think we all go through that.  It's a big change and I'd worry if you didn't have concerns.  I certainly have them.  I have an appointment with an endocrinologist booked for April.  In the short term, HRT effects are reversible, so you can discontinue it if you don't like the results.  However, after a few months breast growth kicks in and that's not reversible.

Bottom line, give it a try and see what happens.

[Allison S]

Well, you do go male to female hormone wise. Taking an anti androgen and estrodial is a huge commitment. But I think the bigger horror story for me is not taking them or reverting back. Everyone is different though and there's no right and wrong. Also, pacing yourself is a good idea because there can always be disappointments along the way... Very huge disappointments that are crushing. Genders male and female are very set in stone in society... But if you're questioning then you're already not fully "cisgender" anyway.

Sent from my VS501 using Tapatalk

[AnamethatstartswithE]

She is willing to refer me to a doctor for HRT. All I need to do is send her an email asking for it and now all of a sudden I am very hesitant. I really do think I would like to start hormones, but I have this voice in the back of my head saying "What if you regret it? What if this isn't what you are supposed to do?"

I went through the same thing, it was several weeks between when my therapist said she would write my letter, and when I could directly say that I wanted it. It's a scary thought, there's nothing wrong with being nervous. I basically had to give myself permission to fail, to say that if I didn't like it I would admit it and stop. Depending on the exact way you do it, the mental effects should kick in within a few weeks, and as others have said since you're MTF you have a while before the changes are noticeable and irreversible.

It was the right choice for me, I hope you find what you're looking for.

[Melinda@heart]

I started HRT April 30th of 2018. I do not regret it. It has given.me a sense of peace on the inside that I have never experienced. After 35 years (since age 10 or so?) Of battling with what I thought I should be and what my body said I was, HRT was the thing that finally calmed my thoughts.

HRT shouldn't  be taken lightly. You are right to be cautious. Discuss it further with your therapist. Determine your true reasons for wanting to do it. Then discuss it in depth with the doctor you're referred to.

You can start out on low dose HRT to see how your body reacts to it. My doctor has me do bloodwork every 3 months to check on things. She said we could move it every 6 mo ths but I prefer 3 months. At my age of 45 I want to make sure nothing gets missed. In my update post I talked about how it wasn't until I went on a Full transition dose of Estradiol Valerate that my mind finally cleared completely and had peace about myself for the first time in my life. It truly saved my life. I was on the verge of the abyss and HRT was a last ditch effort for me finally quiet the demons so to speak.

You know you. You have to decide what is best for yourself. Work with your therapist and doctor and make sure you are completely honest with them and yourself about why you want this, what you expect and what you intend to do in the future.

I hope you find the answers you need. It's an exciting journey. It has many ups and downs but so far, it's been worth it for me.

~Mindy

Sent from my SM-G935V using Tapatalk

[pamelatransuk]

Hello Janna

It is only natural to have concerns and fears as starting any medication is a decision to take and is more serious if the medication is HRT.

I knew I had nothing to lose by starting HRT last February and potentially so much to gain; so hence I decided to "explore". Within 3 months I was certain it was the right decision as I knew I was on "the right fuel". it took 8 months for any noticeable boob growth and hence reversible for that timespan. You should start on low dose anyway and my advice is start and take it from there.

I wish you every happiness whichever route you choose.

Hugs

Pamela

[Zoey421]

Hi everyone!

After a bit of a hiatus, I am back online and I have some news.

I met with my therapist for the first time last week and she was super nice! I really like her a lot and I opened up to her very easily. Part of the way through our first session she asked if I would be interested in HRT and GRS at some point in tbe future, and without hesitation I said yes I would be.

She is willing to refer me to a doctor for HRT. All I need to do is send her an email asking for it and now all of a sudden I am very hesitant. I really do think I would like to start hormones, but I have this voice in the back of my head saying "What if you regret it? What if this isn't what you are supposed to do?"

Now I'm scared and nervous because I've seen some horror stories about transgender folks regretring their transition, and now I am scared that what if I end up being one of those people?

I'd like any advice you can give, and I'll keep you updated on what is going on with me! It's good to be back!

Kisses!
-Janna

Hi Janna, I am at a similar stage to you. I'm 54y, came out 2 months ago and have had 2 sessions with my gender therapist. We discussed briefly medical intervention including surgery and HRT. Going slow and making sure you are ready for this next step is really important. My therapist asked me to consider what are my fantasies about being a woman, the meaning or essence of being a woman to me. This is a great question because it forces me to really explore my mindset of being transgendered.

Medical intervention is a huge step and taking it slow is the direction I'm taking. I have learned there are many different transgendered women, some of whom never have GCS or HRT yet still identify as a woman, dress, act, and live as a woman. This was very comforting for me to understand and allowed me to understand this process is not a sprint.

You will come to a decision that is right for you. Good luck,

Hugs Zoey xoxo

[Janes Groove]

I'd like any advice you can give.

The only advice I can really give you is this:

Listen to your gut.
Do what you know.

[Jeal]

Hi Janna,

I am with you, %100.  I can not imagine NOT doing HRT now that I know the option exists, but I also can't imagine really doing it.  I think for me the advice that has resonated the most from this thread and others (thank you all) is to remember that it is not a race, expect some disappointments along the way, and to be able  mentally/emotionally to accept if it doesn't work out for what ever reason.  That last one is the hardest for me, I admit  I may not get there and have to just take the plunge and deal with the fallout as it happens.

My Daily Mantras are:
Enjoy the Journey
You don't NEED to KNOW

This helps me soften the compulsive worry/analysis I often find myself embroiled in.  There are so many variables I can't understand intellectually, or even know what they all are.  I wouldn't be here at my age if I had learned to listen to my gut and intuition, so, I am trying to let it lead me forward.

All the best!  I will be seeing my gender therapist next week and this will be my number one topic of discussion.

Love,

Jael

[JannaLM]

Thank you so much everyone. I'm glad to know I'm not alone with these fears!

It is also comforting to know that I can stop the process if I don't like where it is headed. That is one of my biggest fears with medicine is losing control of myself.

I'll bring this up with my therapist during our next meeting. At this point, ive started to move past my fears, at least a little bit! Now that I've calmed down a bit, I feel,really excited at this opportunity to be my real self!