Gender Marker

[Coffeedrew]

I have a question, I do get mis gendered a little bit, and now people do not use pronouns at out to  ask me if I need things. I live in a state that only needs a Doctor to write a letter once I am on HRT for a least a few months. I know in a few months my family will be going to a casino, and I do not want to get flagged for a fake ID. I present as male at work still, but at home I try present as a woman as much as possible and when I go out. I am worried I still look to male to use the woman bathroom. I have not got any hey wrong bathrooms yet.

My big question is should I change my gender marker now even though I present as male? Do I need to notify people I am female if I still look like a male? I was thinking of going to the DMV this afternoon.

[Margarine]

Drew,
that is 100% up to you and your comfort level. For me I changed my ID and gender maker the day I started HRT and was given the letter by my doctor. I started presenting full time in under a month, It was a bit rough at first. If you feel comfortable, heck yes go for it. Before GRS I was required to present as female for a year, I had grs one year twenty-eight days after starting HRT.
Honestly, no one can tell you what is best for you.
Take Care,
Margaret

[Coffeedrew]

If I had a picture of my letter could that help me since it has my legal male name on it?
If anyone is mean enough to question why my ID picture looks so different?

[sarah1972]

Oddly enough, I was only asked twice in 18 months of presenting female about the mismatch between my presentation and my ID. And I have done a lot of traveling, including several international trips. Having an ID matching your gender is very affirming, so I would opt for it. As long as the picture is close to your appearance, I don't think it would be a big deal. Also, keep in mind, there are many masculine looking cis women.

It may help in the bathroom situation if anyone ever asks, at least you can show a female ID. The big issue is that in the US laws are different by state. If I drive 15 miles, I can legally use the bathroom of my choice as a transgender person. In the state I live in... not so sure.

I have to admit that the first 7 or so months of being fulltime, I did figure out ways to avoid the bathroom dilemma. By then I passed well enough that I used the ladies room and never had an issue but who knows. In the early phase, my mantra was: If I present 100% female, it would be the ladies room, if there could have been doubt (e.g. just wearing jeans and sneakers) it was the men's room, even though I did get questioned about that several times.

So, my recommendation would be to get your new ID! The bathroom you can always decide on a case by case basis.

Hugs, Sarah

[Jaime320]

Your choice hun. To each their own. I've seen various ID combinations. Such as presenting male with female marker, and female presentation with male marker. Some states even offer alternate DL ID. I think the Aussies add a new dimension with undetermined. The world is changing.  Now if we can get some places caught up. I swear it's still the 40s-50s in places.

[Jaime320]

If I had a picture of my letter could that help me since it has my legal male name on it?
If anyone is mean enough to question why my ID picture looks so different?

Be careful in some parts of the world that Could be even more dangerous. For now I feel dressing drab in those situations is best,  but YMMV.  If you're ok with a marker change go for it. If you are fortunate to be in a more excepting/anti-discrimination state legally this will work,  it however offers no immediate protection from mr/mrs gender police. In hindsight it would offer protection.   After the authorities arrive on site much later, you would be in the right and the gender police in the wrong.  In some states nothing is required,  but it is still best to have a carry letter/safe passage letter just in case.

[Coffeedrew]

Those are very good insights.Thank you. I think I will carry letter on me, and then I will change the gender marker once it is hard to pass in full male clothes.