First of all, thanks for this website/community. I found it a few days ago and have been reading so much.
My name is Delilah and I am transgender and recently out to my wife. I don't know what possessed me, she was being very vulnerable with me and all of the sudden I couldn't help myself. We are both 34 years old and have been married 9 1/2 years and I guess the timing was right. We've probably never been closer. I don't know a lot about how to be a woman, this site has helped a lot, my wife wants to help a lot and has been. She has suggested to me that if I want to transition I should. And I absolutely do. If I hadn't of met her, I was basically planning on disappearing after college and transitioning. I don't know if I will even pass but maybe I will. I'm 6 feet tall and currently 230lbs, I played baseball in college and worked out a lot at the time, and I definitely have dad bod going right now. My wife went all out and bought me a bunch of stuff to crossdress, it went way better than I expected. The facial hair is rough, but that is one of the easier things to eventually deal with. My gut is too big but that is something that I can fix with diet usually, I've been lucky that when I want improve my diet to make it go away it does in a couple months. I know that can and probably will change with HRT.
I do not plan on coming out any time soon to anyone other than my wife. So I want to do HRT while still presenting as male and wow there are so many other people doing that on this site that it makes me feel a lot better. The timelines and testimonials and suggestions on how to hide are so helpful and encouraging that I can do this. I am very interested in the conferences that I have seen for transgender and so is my wife. I'm amazed at how all in she is about this. I know what her worries are, and I'm still scared to death, but we are so good right now.
This is pretty amazing to me because after doing some crazy things when I was in 5th grade like nightly tying a shoestring around my genitals to cut off circulation and kill them, (luckily I never went to far because that would have killed me most likely) I stopped trying to change myself and just stuck to online forums and caps. I devoted my self to physical things because it took my mind of away from who I really was. Actually I still wouldn't be that girly of a girl because I love sports and my dreams usually take me to playing softball instead of baseball. I am attracted to women and that is probably a reason I fit in well with the lesbian women on the softball team in college.
Basically I had devoted myself to being a man, I even went as far as punishing myself with over the counter testosterone when I felt I drifting too far to letting my secret out. So when my wife told me her secret that she watches lesbian porn and that this porn attress's legs and butt with her narrow hips looked a lot like mine, well I couldn't hold back. I actually have a meeting tomorrow with a therapist tomorrow about starting my transition. I know I plan on hiding for probably a long long time, but I'm ready to start.
