There are about a dozen things I want to say so this may be a bit of a rambling post but I will start by explaining what the catalyst was that created these thoughts.
In a different topic I was upset by someone saying it is easy to say the phrase 'don't hide'.
I took exception to the word 'easy'. I don't take it lightly when I say don't hide and having the courage to come out. I did some soul searching about that and by coincidence I got a PM from someone here that I respect. She told me that we are the supporters and not the deciders. That is very true.
I never want to say whether or not someone should transition for very many reasons. Obviously a spouse is a huge concern, also the level of their gender dysphoria ( I believe in a gender spectrum ). Many other reasons include what is most important in your life. Is money your driving influence? That is not a criticism rather a sincere question.
For some professions transitioning is a more complicated issue than others.
Maybe some people are just not up to the challenge. There is nothing wrong with that. We all have our strengths and shortcomings. Some people may just not have the stomach for this. Those people still need a place to discuss, share their feelings and get the pain out.
My personal view is if you wish you could live as a woman and fear is what is stopping you then you need to find a way to overcome that fear. That fear is primarily rooted in what we have absorbed in our society that being a man that wants to be a woman is something to be laughed at. That is where I believe the fear comes from. Nobody wants to be the subject of ridicule. But the reason for that ridicule is false.
That is all I try to preach here. Do not let fear overwhelm you. Don't let the judgment of others rule your life. Don't live in an unhappy existence. You will make those around you including your spouse unhappy.
Those are MY beliefs. But that is the point, they are MY beliefs. As my friend said I am not the decider and I honestly never tried to be or wanted to be. If I have ever come across that way it was not intended.
The primary thing that stopped me from transitioning most of my life was fear. I did not want to be laughed at, rejected, thought to be a freak. To me it was something to be hidden. Through a great deal of hard work I don't believe that anymore.
One person in particular, who some of you know taught me how to search inside myself and realize where the fear came from. I have spent some time with her in person. She knows what a big impact she had on me because I told her but I don't think she fully realizes the seed she planted and how I nurtured it and made it grow into so much more.
That is all I want to pass forward to others here. The support that she and Ashley (tgirlamg) and my therapist and another group of several friends did for me. I would not have got here if not for them.
So when I am being a hard ass or it seems I am being judgmental I am simply passing on the tough love that worked for me. If it helps you great. If not.... well I am just some idiot on the internet .
I wish everyone here happiness and peace and if I ever play a small role in helping find that then that makes me happy.
Mod Edit for TOS 9
