What Surgery Can't do

[MelissaAnn]

This is a cautionary tale but a true tale....
There is a person that at one time I was friends with. Actually, quite an amazing person. But someone who became very bitter about their transition and very jealous of others transition. They stopped going to a therapist and became more and more withdrawn, angry, isolated, and suicidal. At one point a friend of hers moved her in with her and eventually paid for her surgery...!
I know it sounds like a good ending but it isn't. This person had her surgery and still had anger outbursts at her friend who just couldn't take it anymore and kicked her out of the house. Now she is homeless and still suicidal. The moral of this true story which is happening right now is.... YOU, yes YOU need to make sure you go through your therapist and work on your issues before you go for surgery. Bottom surgery will not cure your problems you had going in. The only thing it will do is take care of making you congruent...!

[Tessa James]

A reasonable caution to consider.  After we have been out for a few years, many of us will know of folks like your former friend.  Unless lack of gender congruence is the one and only problem in our lives then we, like everyone else, will have a full range of challenges and relationships to mange.

Jealousy and anger are emotions that any of us can feel but, if they dominate our lives, no amount of fixing other things like our appearance will likely suffice or satisfy.  Saying that, many of us have found ourselves far better equipped to deal with life's demands when our gender dysphoria is reduced and our identity feels real.

Fortunately, for many of us, this is a slow moving process with multiple hurdles and obstacles to encounter and time to fully consider our course of action and results.  What a great and interesting journey we take!