Dealing with the turn-on/fetish and conviction of the Holy Spirit/sanctification

[amandam]

I've had two years of therapy. I have gender dysphoria but not enough to "force me" to transition but at certain times it is a desire. CDing at times is a welcome relief. At other times, it can be quite erotic. I recently tossed out some costumes I had such as cheerleader, etc. Yes, it bummed me out, but I didn't want to use this as an outlet because of not enough time to dress, teens home all the time, etc. You know, dress up, get turned on, take care of it, then undress. Rinse and repeat. I guess you could say I've emphasized the fetish as a quick fix.

I feel as though the Holy Spirit wants me to not CD for sexual purposes while alone. After the times my wife is involved in some sexy time, I don't feel this conviction. Also, if you have this issue, you can't really know if you are truly TS if you don't try to decouple the sexual component. Remove the fantasy aspect so it doesn't fool you into believing you should be a girl.

As Christians, do you have similar struggles? Have you been on a similar path?

[PurplePelican]

I've had two years of therapy. I have gender dysphoria but not enough to "force me" to transition but at certain times it is a desire. CDing at times is a welcome relief. At other times, it can be quite erotic. I recently tossed out some costumes I had such as cheerleader, etc. Yes, it bummed me out, but I didn't want to use this as an outlet because of not enough time to dress, teens home all the time, etc. You know, dress up, get turned on, take care of it, then undress. Rinse and repeat. I guess you could say I've emphasized the fetish as a quick fix.

I feel as though the Holy Spirit wants me to not CD for sexual purposes while alone. After the times my wife is involved in some sexy time, I don't feel this conviction. Also, if you have this issue, you can't really know if you are truly TS if you don't try to decouple the sexual component. Remove the fantasy aspect so it doesn't fool you into believing you should be a girl.

As Christians, do you have similar struggles? Have you been on a similar path?

Without HRT, you are a prisoner of hormonal needs, so this is a moot argument. Many trans women have issues with the sexual component until they successfully suppress their testosterone.

[Complete]

Purple Pelican is correct. Male hormones do have a compelling effect. Because the hormone driven urge to copulate and procreate is rigorously suppressed by society we humans find other outlets. Chemical castration, as provided by the various testosterone suppressor will work to reduce your need to "get off", but it will also impair your ability to copulate.
This whole issue is of course completely separate from the fetish aspects although admittedly,  the fetish is in fact and alternative to the normal human reproductive function.
There is some thinking which theorizes the fetish as a sexual target error, where the objects of our desire become transposed and internalized.

This is not medical advice. Always consult your doctor