It’s my birthday today and the dysphoria is awful

[Dana Thompson]

I'm on HRT but am still not presenting female yet. People keep making jokes, "hows it going old man haha." I am not old in a real sense (36) but I am old to just be starting my transition. I've wasted so much of my life.

I hate being called a man like that too, but it's not like they know any better. I don't know, I just wanted to put this out there so that I would maybe feel a bit better.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[KathyLauren]

Dana, happy birthday!!

I get the hurt of the "old man" remark.  True, they don't know any different, but that doesn't make it hurt any less.

No, you are not old, either chronologically, or for starting your transition.  The most common age to start transition is 35-50, and there are plenty of us over-60 folks around.  You have many good years ahead of you, and most of them will be as your true gender.

Hang in there.  It gets better.

[Dana Thompson]

Thanks. I'm at work now and the distraction helps. I appreciate your words.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Northern Star Girl]

I'm on HRT but am still not presenting female yet. People keep making jokes, "hows it going old man haha." I am not old in a real sense (36) but I am old to just be starting my transition. I've wasted so much of my life.

I hate being called a man like that too, but it's not like they know any better. I don't know, I just wanted to put this out there so that I would maybe feel a bit better.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

@Dana Thompson
Dear Dana:
For sure, being clearly greeted and identified as male, even though you are still presenting as male can be quite disturbing and disappointing for sure....  but unfortunately for now, bear with it as you are are just getting started with your transition and HRT.   
As you start presenting as female, the challenge can be exciting and quite challenging as you most like have read about other members personal journeys.   
Hang on, the ride will be full of successes and some failures too... those sorts of things can be a way to learn and to improve.

At 36 years old, you are 3 years younger than myself... so in reality and in comparison to many other transitioners here on the forums we are quite young and there are many members our age and older that are presenting well in their own transitions and successfully living their lives as full-time women.

NOW, BACK TO THE SUBJECT LINE OF YOUR THREAD:
  H A P P Y   B I R T H D A Y
                     
I am wishing you a most happy Birthday... what are your plans for your Special Day?
Hugs and well wishes,
Danielle

[Dana Thompson]

Thanks Danielle. I don't know why I feel so awful today. I logically know everything you're saying is true, but the dysphoria is almost overwhelming if I stop doing something for a second.

It's probably a bad idea, but for a birthday treat I took an extra dose of hormones. That made me happy.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Northern Star Girl]

Thanks Danielle. I don't know why I feel so awful today. I logically know everything you're saying is true, but the dysphoria is almost overwhelming if I stop doing something for a second.

It's probably a bad idea, but for a birthday treat I took an extra dose of hormones. That made me happy.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

@Dana Thompson
Dear Dana:
I trust that you will get past this tough moment with your dysphoria...
... and you are very correct, taking an extra dose of hormones is indeed a bad idea.

Transitionsing and HRT can not be rushed... and taking any meds not following your doctors orders is certainly not advised.   Please don't be tempted to doing it again....   promise me???

Please keep us all posted with your updates as you continue on in your journey.
Best wishes to you,
Danielle

[Sonja]

@Dana Thompson

first of all,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

There is actually a positive to starting transition a little later like some of us girls - you get to have a second life! and that is a pretty rare and beautiful thing!

Make this day yours and go out and make it special!

Take care,

Sonja.

[Lynne]

Not the best birthday one could have but happy birthday anyway!

Being called 'man' is bad enough but being called 'old man' can push so many buttons at once that it can be really painful in our situation.

I'm roughly the same age as you and I worked with a lot of younger guys over the years, I was usually 5-10 years older than them and because I present as male at work I am one of the boys(even if I don't really look like one). Some of them felt appropriate to call me 'father' or something similar.

There were times when I had to concentrate really hard to not show how terrible it felt or to not start crying in front of everyone.
For me it is especially hard to hear such things after longer holidays or weekends when I always present as female, I'm a wreck after I have to revert back to male mode on Monday.
Days like these are really tough and sadly they seem to be inevitable until the situation is resolved.

At work I just usually bury myself in the work and solve hard problems to take my mind off the dysphoria and I have plenty of things to distract myself at home too but there are times when one has to face those emotions. By the time I get home after a day like this I'm usually so easily triggered that it's certain that I'll cry my eyes out but at least I feel much better afterwards.

And as you said, they don't know any better so they cannot be blamed for what they are saying and they probably wouldn't say it if they knew how much it hurts to hear those comments.

Hang in there, it will get better!

[Dana Thompson]

Thank you. That was a really concise explanation of how I'm feeling. I'm glad I'm not alone. Right now I'm trying to work things out with my wife too, so I can't even present how I want at home. At least she knows tho, and that's something.

I'm out to dinner with my wife and she's trying so hard to make this a happy birthday. I really appreciate it but I just feel like crying. I told her I'm just tired and I'm trying to put on a happy face. I genuinely appreciate her efforts.

I hate being a downer, I just didn't know where else to vent.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Dana Thompson]

@Dana Thompson

first of all,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

There is actually a positive to starting transition a little later like some of us girls - you get to have a second life! and that is a pretty rare and beautiful thing!

Make this day yours and go out and make it special!

Take care,

Sonja.

Thanks Sonja. I have had an objectively great life so this is a good perspective to take. It feels like there has been a gray cloud over everything (I've always known I was trans) but I am very grateful for the life I've lead so far.



Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk