voice lessons worth it???

[Linde]

I never even checked with my insurance, if they would pay for voice lessons!  I have to do this!

I feel that it is way easier for older women like I, to sound more cis than for younger women.  Many cis older women tend to have rather low voices, some are even lower than my natural voice is.  My natural voice is in the low to median frequency spectrum of female voices, and only my male type speech pattern gives me away/or better, gave me away.  I seem to not fall into that anymore lately, because I have no male contact persons left in my environment, and talk with females only.  I thus started to loose my male pattern, and acquired the female one (I am told that i sound like the rest of them).  Funny enough, I still speak "male" when on the phone, if I want it or not. 

Most of the time this is OK, because I am still waiting to receive the judgement of my legal name change!  This judgement was signed 1 1/2 weeks ago, and the bureaucrats are not able to get it to me, the courthouse is only 20 miles away, and they will not allow me to pick it up in person!

[NatalieRene]

Just found this thread and apologize if I missed this but I will go back and read in more detail later. Headed out the door soon.  Can anyone give a ball park idea of cost of voice therapy, length of time of a single session, and if any chance for insurance to cover. Oh, do you usually go weekly, monthly, depends?
Monica

It's been a while but I believe I was spending $150.00 per session and going once per week.

[KatieP]

Just found this thread and apologize if I missed this but I will go back and read in more detail later. Headed out the door soon.  Can anyone give a ball park idea of cost of voice therapy, length of time of a single session, and if any chance for insurance to cover. Oh, do you usually go weekly, monthly, depends?
Monica

I found mine through my healthcare provider, and fortuitously ended up with a complete Trans expert. Each 1 hour session through the healthcare provider cost about $300, and insurance paid about $200 of that. I went once a week. It was the best money I ever spent. Interestingly, I have gone to this same SLP privately, and I think her rate was $75/hour. (I say "think" because I give her $100/hour, and it is still the best money I have spent.)

She can do "remote" private sessions over Skype if desired. She is based in California, and has a license only for California. IF anyone here is in California, and would like her contact info, please PM me. She was amazing!

As well for anyone in WA, Sandy Hirsch is famous, and co-wrote the book on this subject. She also does remote sessions, I am told...

Kate

[HappyMoni]

I found mine through my healthcare provider, and fortuitously ended up with a complete Trans expert. Each 1 hour session through the healthcare provider cost about $300, and insurance paid about $200 of that. I went once a week. It was the best money I ever spent. Interestingly, I have gone to this same SLP privately, and I think her rate was $75/hour. (I say "think" because I give her $100/hour, and it is still the best money I have spent.)

She can do "remote" private sessions over Skype if desired. She is based in California, and has a license only for California. IF anyone here is in California, and would like her contact info, please PM me. She was amazing!

As well for anyone in WA, Sandy Hirsch is famous, and co-wrote the book on this subject. She also does remote sessions, I am told...

Kate

Kate, $300 a hour? I'm in the wrong business! I hope it isn't that expensive. I think it is pretty important to get someone good as bad habits can really screw things  up. The therapist  I have had recommended will call my insurance to see if they will cover anything.

[ChrissyRyan]

Kate, $300 a hour? I'm in the wrong business! I hope it isn't that expensive. I think it is pretty important to get someone good as bad habits can really screw things  up. The therapist  I have had recommended will call my insurance to see if they will cover anything.

Moni,

You could go to this thread
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,243630.0.html
And use radremedy.org to find voice therapy providers. 

I do not think that costs are listed at this tool but if there are Web sites to providers that this tool finds for you, perhaps there are prices there on the provider sites.

Chrissy

[KatieP]

Kate, $300 a hour? I'm in the wrong business! I hope it isn't that expensive. I think it is pretty important to get someone good as bad habits can really screw things  up. The therapist  I have had recommended will call my insurance to see if they will cover anything.

I think this is the joy of having insurance. Health care providers send large bills to insurance companies knowing that only some percentage will be paid.

And, it is all about value. I ended up paying about $100/hour out of pocket, and in the end, was VERY happy to have done it.



Kate

[Tribble]

I'm getting up the courage to use this microphone in front of me and any number of the various recording software packages I have on my PC so I can finally get an honest opinion on my voice.

My mom says I sound squeaky and fake, but then again, I'm always nervous around her so she's never actually heard my real voice.  When I'm nervous, I tense up.  It's something I need to work on, for sure.

[HappyMoni]

I think this is the joy of having insurance. Health care providers send large bills to insurance companies knowing that only some percentage will be paid.

And, it is all about value. I ended up paying about $100/hour out of pocket, and in the end, was VERY happy to have done it.



Kate

Kate, with electrolysis down to two last visits, I could deal with $100 a visit. $300 is another story. I hope to be as happy with it as you seem to be. Chrissy, if this person doesn't work out I'll try out the site you offered. I get the nerves thing, Tribble. I tense up my voice in some situations, with certain people.
Okay, time to face my fear. It's the weekend so I can't call, but I found their website and contact info and I think I'll request a consult. Now, Moni now, you coward!

[Tribble]

Good luck, Moni!

I get nervous talking to my wiretaps. :sigh:

[HappyMoni]

Mission accomplished!

[Anne Blake]

Moni, let me know how it goes for you. I still have some time before my ffs recovery will make voice work worthwhile. I expect a month or two before the healing gets to the point that it doesn't effect my voice and work can begin. But hey girl, I am not sure how much you expect to gain, your voice is beautiful to begin with.

Love you sis,
Anne

[HappyMoni]

Moni, let me know how it goes for you. I still have some time before my ffs recovery will make voice work worthwhile. I expect a month or two before the healing gets to the point that it doesn't effect my voice and work can begin. But hey girl, I am not sure how much you expect to gain, your voice is beautiful to begin with.

Love you sis,
Anne

You are too kind my friend. I can at times have a decent voice. It is so unpredictable that it almost seems like a shot in the dark as to what comes out. As a result I get a lot of anxiety.  I need mental rules to go by to provide a more consistent guide to a better vocal product. Until I get more confidence in my voice, I will still have an impediment to me relaxing totally as me. It's pretty much my last frontier. To go where no trans woman has gone before. My five year mission... Damn you James T. Kirk, get out of my head. lol
Translated, yeah Anne, I'll let you know.
Love,
Moni

[HappyMoni]

I got a quick reply from the therapist's office. She is on vacation so I'm safe for the time being. lol I got an idea on cost. For the evaluation, it''s $180, then $65 per session. Anyone know what they do in an evaluation? Dissect you? Maybe get a baseline on your vocal range? I hope they don't require using the old voice. That embarrasses me.
Moni

[NatalieRene]

I got a quick reply from the therapist's office. She is on vacation so I'm safe for the time being. lol I got an idea on cost. For the evaluation, it''s $180, then $65 per session. Anyone know what they do in an evaluation? Dissect you? Maybe get a baseline on your vocal range? I hope they don't require using the old voice. That embarrasses me.
Moni

They ask Questions to get a self assessment and then get a baseline to see what they are working with.

[Tessa James]

.... I alter my voice not to "please other people" so much as to provide them with more cues to correctly gender me. Whether or not it "should" be this way, it is, and likely will be for a while...

Kate

Thank you for articulating this concept Kate.  Much like what we wear, every detail about our presentation can be a cue.  People typically do try to determine gender when we meet but any reason we work to change our voice is valid.  Of course not changing our voice is valid too.

Ironically one of the best things I gained from my voice lessons was to better understand myself as a person with a non binary gender identity.  As I made successful efforts to change my voice I also recognized increasing frustration at again trying to fit into that gender box, this time marked Female.  Accepting myself as an amalgam of nature and nurture I fall toward the female end.  My comfort zone has grown to embrace being a somewhat femme-androgynous person with a bass voice that fits just fine.  Singing, whispering or raising the roof, make your voice heard!

[KatieP]

Thank you for articulating this concept Kate.  Much like what we wear, every detail about our presentation can be a cue.  People typically do try to determine gender when we meet but any reason we work to change our voice is valid.  Of course not changing our voice is valid too.

Ironically one of the best things I gained from my voice lessons was to better understand myself as a person with a non binary gender identity.  As I made successful efforts to change my voice I also recognized increasing frustration at again trying to fit into that gender box, this time marked Female.  Accepting myself as an amalgam of nature and nurture I fall toward the female end.  My comfort zone has grown to embrace being a somewhat femme-androgynous person with a bass voice that fits just fine.  Singing, whispering or raising the roof, make your voice heard!

Wow. Very nice, Tessa!!

And in terms of advocacy and helping to change the culture, I think your approach will have far more impact than mine will ever have.

Thanks for sharing!

Kate

[Linde]

I think I will continue to be my own trainer, and let my cis woman friends be my motivation and checkers!

I waded through many different people in my health insurance, to finally find out that they don't pay for anything voice related!

[HappyMoni]

Thank you for articulating this concept Kate.  Much like what we wear, every detail about our presentation can be a cue.  People typically do try to determine gender when we meet but any reason we work to change our voice is valid.  Of course not changing our voice is valid too.

Ironically one of the best things I gained from my voice lessons was to better understand myself as a person with a non binary gender identity.  As I made successful efforts to change my voice I also recognized increasing frustration at again trying to fit into that gender box, this time marked Female.  Accepting myself as an amalgam of nature and nurture I fall toward the female end.  My comfort zone has grown to embrace being a somewhat femme-androgynous person with a bass voice that fits just fine.  Singing, whispering or raising the roof, make your voice heard!

In the end, we change our voice or don't change it  to please ourselves. The result could be a non binary outcome. It could be not caring to make the effort at all. Whatever! My voice, more accurately, the voice that I picture for me is female. It's weird but I have lost so much transphobia in my transition. So many things I would not be caught doing before (because they were seen as feminine), I now love and do with ease. I still have this one corner of my brain that sees the male way of talking as safe. It scares me to go full on female sounding. The voice is such a window to the soul so us. I don't get why I want a female voice so badly, yet sabotage it out of fear. I know part of it is the fear of doing it badly. I would be interested if anyone else feels this. It's kind of like dancing as a woman, I think. Until recently, I held myself back from fully dancing in a feminine manner. Reserved would be a good description. I finally got to a "oh hell, just let it go' moment, and it was great. Voice is harder. It's physically and mentally harder to make that leap.
I spoke to a guy from a very male macho portion of my life today. On one hand, I wanted to have a good female voice. On the other, I kept thinking, what is he gonna think of me suddenly talking girly to him. It really makes me realize that my mental adjustment has a ways to go. My hope is with better confidence, this might take care of itself. What ya think?

[Linde]

I am a little different to you here.  But I always had a rather high frequency voice, and being around women only for most of the last several years, I am slipping more and more into the female speech.  I don't even try to talk male anymore, except, and I don't know why, on the phone!

I am absolutely scarred of dancing.  I always was a good dancer and had formal training in ballroom dancing, but I was always the guy, and did the leading!  I have no idea how to dance the female part, and am afraid that I might jerk my male partner around, and scare him to death!  And because of this fear of not knowing how to do things, I avoid any events with dancing like the plague. 
Even assuming I might develop some kind of romantic feelings for guys, I never would meet any because I try to avoid the meeting places!

[Tribble]

In the end, we change our voice or don't change it  to please ourselves. The result could be a non binary outcome. It could be not caring to make the effort at all. Whatever! My voice, more accurately, the voice that I picture for me is female. It's weird but I have lost so much transphobia in my transition. So many things I would not be caught doing before (because they were seen as feminine), I now love and do with ease. I still have this one corner of my brain that sees the male way of talking as safe. It scares me to go full on female sounding. The voice is such a window to the soul so us. I don't get why I want a female voice so badly, yet sabotage it out of fear. I know part of it is the fear of doing it badly. I would be interested if anyone else feels this. It's kind of like dancing as a woman, I think. Until recently, I held myself back from fully dancing in a feminine manner. Reserved would be a good description. I finally got to a "oh hell, just let it go' moment, and it was great. Voice is harder. It's physically and mentally harder to make that leap.
I spoke to a guy from a very male macho portion of my life today. On one hand, I wanted to have a good female voice. On the other, I kept thinking, what is he gonna think of me suddenly talking girly to him. It really makes me realize that my mental adjustment has a ways to go. My hope is with better confidence, this might take care of itself. What ya think?

For me, my more masculine voice triggers even more dysphoria, so one of my goals is for as perfect a feminine voice as I am able to achieve.  It's an internal thing for me and is just part of my perfectionism getting in my own way.

I have a fairly broad range for being AMAB.  I used to be able to hit higher notes than my cis ex-wife.  I couldn't quite reach the lowest of the low notes that Geoff Tate can hit if you know who that is, but I can still get pretty low.  The only time I can scream like Jamie Lee Curtis is if I'm in the middle of a sneeze.  Then, LOOK OUT!  Ned Flanders time.

Now, if only I could carry a tune.

When I detransitioned I briefly took on a job that I had to deal with the public in their own places of business.  I would get really confused and surprised looks with some of the booming bass sounds coming out of this face.  On the other hand, my purely natural voice that I guess I'd developed throughout my 29 years living as a male sound exactly like Ira Flatow.  When I hear recordings of my spoken voice, I can't tell the difference between him and myself.

I know I can be pretty convincing on the phone, but I'm still far from perfect and I still have tons of tells and it bothers me.

I get especially nervous and tense around friends and family that know my past.  I hardly even tried when I was around my dad and even now I have a difficult time not reverting around my mom.

If I can ever afford it, I have hopes that voice coaching will help me with some of these issues.  Voice coaching and MH therapy.

Oh.  Dancing.  You will never, never, never see me on a dance floor.  I'm far too OC.  Worse than the white people dancing to Bon Jovi the meme!

And to see (hear) just where I am now, here's a link:

https://soundcloud.com/daxix/voicelesson001/s-Z29Hz

I guess I need to download and use a voice analyzer of some sort.  I hope I'm able to improve on this someday.