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Do I pass

Started by Raven19812004, February 24, 2019, 04:51:17 PM

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Raven19812004

Not on HRT but am transexual do I pass or semi close be honest before is what I used to look like with my hair long now after a year of growing it

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Maid Marion

#1
Your top seems too loose for a female presentation.  Female tops often contain stretch fabrics like Spandex and Lycra.

The smile and longer hair certainly help.

If I work in the yard, I'll shower and make myself presentable for heading out.  All part of dressing appropriately.
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KimOct

Hi Raven,  I usually don't reply to threads on this topic but I chose to make an exception for a couple of reasons.  I think you will like the first one.

Yes I do think you are passable, at least to some degree.  Passing depends on many things - face, body, mannerisms, voice etc.  But your face looks good.  You did a nice job with your hair and that makes a big difference.  One of the few physical things I got lucky about was keeping my hair at a later age.  Based on your face alone I would think you could pass frequently in public.

Here's the other reason that I replied.  In full disclosure do I want to pass also? Absolutely, I would be lying if I said otherwise.  But as you get more comfortable living as a transgender woman the one thing that is important in my opinion is to be less concerned with passing.  This is a deep conversation with many aspects that I think I will start a new thread about in the near future but passing is a very complicated thing with a lot of implications.

One of the most important is why do WE (including me ) want to pass?  Is it because we want to be perceived as women?  Is it because we don't want people to think we are trans?  And if so why?  The need or desire to pass is very common among all of us.  When I first transitioned it was a major part of my fear - that I wouldn't.

Eventually you need to learn to be comfortable living in your own skin, whatever that skin may look like.

Do you pass?  Yeah actually pretty well.  Is it important?  Of course, but don't make it the most important thing.  Far from it .  Being YOU is the most important and learning to be OK with that.
The first transphobe you have to conquer is yourself
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Rayna

Quote from: KimOct on February 25, 2019, 02:06:37 AM
Is it important?  Of course, but don't make it the most important thing.  Far from it .  Being YOU is the most important and learning to be OK with that.
Thank you Kim, that's so important!  I'm learning to go out, even without makeup to cover my shadow, and my imperfect voice.  Just being comfortable with myself, and laughing internally at whatever anyone else thinks.  Sometimes I do the whole makeup thing and try hard, but it's more important to just be myself.
If so, then why not?
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