1 Month today on HRT. I felt relieved since day I decided to go on HRT. I believe it is mostly psychological. I do feel lower stress levels, but some stress in my life ended so that may be it too. I do seem to be more driven to get things done rather than put them off. I am sleeping much better and actually feel more rested during the days.
Physical changes are slight. Libido was down the first week which was good. It lets me concentrate on things I need to focus on. I believe my body hair is growing slower. My nipples were sticking out off and on, but now they are there most of the time. Nipples also feel bruised if I touch them every time now. It is hard to tell if any growth, I had large pectoral muscles for years, and when they softened before HRT they would fill out a swim suite bikini top. I tried a sports bra before HRT and they actually looked like breasts, so it is hard to tell how much muscle is going away and how much breast is taking it's place. I had a 43 in under bust and a 46 in over the nipple area. From what I read the breast buds come first so any growth in the outer areas are likely my imagination. I am still patient, and I am still really wanting to evaluate if I will transition or not. My main goal for HRT at the moment is to see if the brain being exposed to the hormones will make me feel more normal and at peace with myself. For me it really isn't as much about the physical changes at the moment, and I have read the mental changes happen before permanent physical changes so I am kind of on a trial run. I am just trying to get to know my inner person over a 3 month HRT trial run. It is hard to be honest with myself when I know much bigger issues will happen if I decided to actually transition. I suppose I must be considering it if I have already researched how to do legal name changes in my state on all my documents. My insurance covers any surgeries so I am lucky there if I decide to have any surgeries done. I think I have found a therapist I want to try. My luck, the one I would have loved to use is moving out of state and not taking patients.
I guess that is it for my 1 month update. I am optimistic more changes will come. Either way I have no expectations, I am just trying to take an honest look at my inner self without judging myself and worrying about the consequences if I decide to be who I find I am in the end. If I decide it is not the right direction for me, at least I gave it an honest try. If I decide I am going to transition, well, I guess I will have 3 months under my belt, and I suppose under my bra too.
