God doesn't make mistakes?

[Fallen_Meteorite]

So I lived as a cis-gendered male for 38 years. I accepted Christ at age 11 and have been involved in the Church my entire life.

That said, I had extreme social and anger issues as a teen due to relentless bullying by "jocks." The jock culture is toxic and supports mysogynism in young men and reinforces patriarchal society. Some grow up to be decent family men, others not so much, but that's for another topic.

I had extreme difficulty relating to peers growing up (and only very recently within the past few months discovered the cause was female mental gender), and after high school entered college, where I was just accepted for who I was. I went through a "hippie phase" growing out my hair and wearing tie dye, but I also suffered from severe clinical depression. I started drawing female figures but didn't know why, and got labeled as a "pornographer" by the church. I was allowed to stay in the congregation, but was told to clean up my act, which I did. I would argue art is not the same as porn. Anyone who is so offended by the human body I would suggest reading Song of Solomon.

2018 was a transition for my fiance and I. Her mother passed on to be with the Lord, same day as Billy Graham. She felt unsafe and persecuted in our home congregation. We discussed the matter privately, and after hearing her story, I came to the determination that we would leave our current flock and start "shopping" a new Church home immediately.

We eventually settled down and joined an inner city black congregation, mainly to get away from the racibm, bigotry and politics prevalent in white congregations. They have so far accepted us with open arms. The sermons are powerful, music upbeat. People dance and clap and sing. I feel moved by the spirit on Sundays when before I used to nod off in the pews. I cannot fall asleep in such a place. Even my reverend said he prayed for diversity a week prior to us showing up.

My fiance and I are both evangelical Christians, and both liberal political views. She was raised Methodist and I Southern Baptist. Many Christian denominations, especially white congregations in the bible belt, tend to be politically conservative and try to press upon their congregations to support these views. There are many racist and homophobic church goers who use religion to conceal hatred. That LGBT is an abomination to God's plan for humans.

This archaic principal stems from the fact in early humanity, procreation was necessary for survival. Two men or two women cannot procreate. This is biological fact. However many heterosexual bedroom activities also do not result in procreation. However with medical technology ensuring that the majority of children reach adulthood, overpopulation, pollution, and competition for resources means procreation isn't necessary for survival. People have done it for mellinia and will continue to do so. Protesting LGBT people, or picketing outside of abortion clinics does nothing to further the kingdom. It screams hypocrisy. "God loves everyone, except for _____"

While the Bible has strong words against homosexuality and other deviant practices (ex: Sodom and Gommora), it also has severe dietary restrictions on clean and unclean foods which few still follows, "eye for an eye", stoning adulterers, and other practices which no well meaning modern God fearing individual would support. Jesus also said, "let one who is without sin cast the first stone." "Remove the log out of your own eye; then you can see clearly to examine the spec in your friend's eye."

I've been a closet supporter of the LGBT community for years, but now that I identify with them, it is personal. These people have as much freedom to worship as anyone. Salvation won't "cure" dysphoria or homosexuality, but religion can lead to leading fulfilling lives.

I am currently using an otc hormone (dhea) to androgynize my body, and my adrenals are now producing estrogen. Since my mental gender is female, but my body is male, and hormones do cross the blood-brain barrier, I cannot treat my mental dysphoria without physiological changes to my body. And I am transitioning, though currently I still "present" as male.

They've been begging my fiance and I to join the choir. Well up until a few month ago, I was a tenor, but now my singing voice is now a very effeminant alto with a higher resonance, due to my larynx shrinking. I cannot sing baratone anymore at all, and forcing my new voice so sing tenor range is painful and could damage it. So if I join, I'll be the only "male alto" on the praise team, and the only "male" standing up there period. So my new voice should blend right in. 😅 I've been closet singing and my voice sounds almost angelic, though it's harder for me to hit perfect pitch like I used to because it's still transiting.

My breasts are beginning to bud somewhat. I need to wear two shirts to conceal them. During the service, we have a "meet and greet" where we hug other members of the congregation. I love giving and receiving hugs from both men and women, however I am becoming self conscious that people will notice even if they don't say anything.

Should I come out to my pastor, or wait it out? Amber will come out and reveal herself eventually if I don't. I've opened to a few trusted close friends who don't have ties to my family. Some of them are very accepting, other confused, and some have gotten preachy, accusing me of choosing a dark path. Friends, LGBT people don't chose their path; the path choses them!

"God doesn't make mistakes," is a argument I hear a lot, and a fairly week strawman at that. Humans, while created in God's image, are inherently flawed. Babies are born everyday with Downs, a chromosomal anomaly, yet we love and nurture them. Nobody says, "God messed up again," when a downs child is born. To suggest this would be blasphemy, yet they have no problem suggesting that I am a mistake?

I have ADHD meds I take to help me focus. I have hypertension. How is hormone therapy any different? Something mind or body is out of alignment, and modern medicine can fix that. If I revert back to male without allowing my transition to continue, I will be forever stuck with permanent gender dysphoria, which would be a miserable existence. Waking up every morning with positive energy in my veins, motivated in a way I never have been before, optimistic about my situation even if life throws me a curveball. I haven't suffered clinical depression in a decade-and-a-half, but I've never felt as radiant and happy as I do now. Does God want me to be miserable? I would hope not.

A trucker friend told me I am destroying my life, then why do I feel so positive? A female coworker, also Christian flat out told me I am trying to become something I wasn't created to be. Yet my agnostic male coworker, who recommended I read the Kybaloin (specifically the mental gender chapter - I did get a hardcover Centenary edition and have started reading it) totally supports and "gets" me.

I'm not losing my faith over this. If I have to relocate and fknd a new church home, I will. I am still "His" child. If it weren't for my faith, I would probably be dead or institutionalized by now, but I'm here and living a fulfilling life.😇

[Faith]

I tend to skim lengthy posts, I read yours verbatim. There is a lot in there that resonates with me. If you don't find your welcoming where you are, keep searching, they are out there. No, God doesn't make mistakes. The phrase that I like is, "People make mistakes, God makes plans"

While not as well articulated as your,  I shared two posts on Facebook similar in concept. I'll quote them here.

There's always a plan whether you recognize it or not

I fully believe and feel that my wife and I are soul-mates, she feels the same. In our world of gender-bias, sexuality-bias (list of bias go on, I'll stop at the two relevant), how can two soul-mates find each other and live together as intended. Thus, I was born male. It's a fact, I do not discount it. I have resurfaced memories of fighting against my mental leanings in favor of my biological one. These were brought out in therapy. The fight I was fighting was not evident to others, barely evident to myself. I knew something was wrong, I didn't know what it was.

I married, had children, now grandchildren. Life was right? Normal? No. My life wasn't miserable, I love my wife, my family. I would not trade that for anything. Within myself I was miserable. I expressed it in introversion, depression, anger, sullenness, All normally hidden from others as I found distractions in life .. I could not hide it from my wife. The more years together, the more evident. Then something clicked, I do not know what or why.

My thoughts triggered into something new.old. I began to research into transgender (I didn't even know the term at the time). In the course of the following weeks I dug deep, not just Internet (there's a lot of bad information out there), also in scripture (how it was originally written; how it was translated; how it was interpreted). my wife noticed something else going on with me (the full story is hers, I'll not recount it) and confronted me.I wasn't even sure myself where I was heading. I told her what I could, my suspicions. I had to answer a lot of her questions with 'I don't know' because I didn't. We both did a lot of text and soul searching, together ans separately.

That 'click' moment:

At the same time that my brain triggered and started to investigate, my wife had given up on us and was seeking to end our life together. My life, my soul, my wife, a person who does not believe in divorce was ready to leave me. If I had been born female she would not have been with me. No way we would have had a family. We wouldn't even have known each other. There was no way changing earlier in life that we could have been together. At any other moment in our life together if this had come up it would have destroyed us. Any later and it would have been too late. At the very moment that our life together was crumbling into disaster, a trigger, a thought, turned it around. The result? My wife and I are closer now than ever, it has changed from her wanting to leave into her wanting to stay - her words, not just my hopes.

There was a Plan, I know who made and implemented that Plan .. it wasn't me.

First, the disclaimer. This is not a comment about the Bible, religion, nor faith. This is about people.

-=begin vent=-

In this past year I have encountered many different people and personality types. I consider myself very fortunate that the haters are, by far, outnumbered by the supporters - even taking in to consideration the non-committals.

The worst type I have met are not honest haters. Honest haters simply hate and are not afraid to express it for themselves. The worst type dig through the Bible in search of passages and phrases without regard to context. The only criteria necessary to them is to find support for their own hateful beliefs and opinions.

It is not about faith for them. It is not about love, kindness, non-judgment, acceptance, tolerance (the list goes on). The only thing that matters to them is validation for their own views.

I call these people bible bigots. I have no use for them in my life.

-=end vent=-

I would like to thank each and every person that has showed me support on my journey (and continue to do so). Words cannot express how deeply I am moved by the thoughts sent my way and the actions that reinforce them. I am a better person because of you. You know who you are ... Thank you

[Ann W]

I was raised fundamentalist, though I no longer identify as a Christian.

The statement, "God doesn't make mistakes," has always seemed breathtakingly shallow. As you pointed out, babies are born with birth defects all the time. I have long looked at what we are born with as a birth defect; it's a bit unusual, in that, although our brains are different from our bodies, it's our bodies that are wrong -- because the brain, not the body, is the seat of personality.

I think most of the people who say this aren't really listening, however. It seems more of a conversation-stopper than an argument. I think they say it because they're scared. There's not much you can do about that, but give them time.

[Linde]

@Fallen_Meteorite
It seems that the only Christians are those that are the evangelicals, who consider them self reborn in Jesus, are the ones who don't get it that Jesus preached love and inclusion, and not exclusion!
The only people who rejected me were very long terms friends, who were "reborn"!  They consider me to be mentally ill and I would need to be institutionalized, because Jesus would not wan t people like me around!
I don't know which Jesus they are talking about, because my version of Jesus is the loving son of God! 
My niece, who is one of my strongest supporters, is a Methodist pastor, and I cannot repeat what she thinks of those people, because it would not be right if somebody would find out what this pastor has to say about such lovers of Jesus!

Just move away from these toxic versions of Christianity, and find a church which is really inclusive, and lives the gospel they preach!

PS:, my niece also says that God makes no mistakes, because of this God made me to show the world that I am not a mistake, because God makes no mistakes!

[Fallen_Meteorite]

I tend to skim lengthy posts, I read yours verbatim. There is a lot in there that resonates with me. If you don't find your welcoming where you are, keep searching, they are out there. No, God doesn't make mistakes. The phrase that I like is, "People make mistakes, God makes plans"

While not as well articulated as your,  I shared two posts on Facebook similar in concept. I'll quote them here.

Thank you for the kind words. I'll try to keep it brief instead of long winded when I have so much feelings inside me.

I've come out to about 5 or 6 people now that I am trans. More specifically, my dysphoria was always mental, never about body image. As such, I love my penis, facial hair, my expanding chest, glowing skin, shrinking abdomen, and expanding chest.

If I ever go off the DHEA and get real hrt therapy, I will need low does testorone in addition to estrogen to keep my sex drive healthy and functional.  My mental gender will remain female but my body more androgynous or bigendered. I'll never get top or bottom surgery.

Two nearly lifelong friends, one cis-female from college and my old buddy from hjgh school, both Christian, said they will support me.

My trucker friend, also Christian, told me I was destroying my life, career, fiance, and family. I explained to him what gender dysphoria was in a text, why it was the fight decision for me, and it's been radio silence since.

My Agnostic male coworker supports me 100%, and my female Christian coworker doesn't fully comprehend that it is not a choice, and thinks I have made a wrong decision and I should basically pray until I see some sign that I should continue or stop. She does care and will continue to care, though it is hard for her to process. But I know in my heart it is right for me.

My fiance, also Christian, has agreed to stay, though she has reservations. My pheremones have changed, mannerisms, speech, but my love is consistent. Sex is the best healing I think because it reinforces the fact we still share passion. While she's not enthusiastic with my progress, we are still bonding and spending time and making love.

Also I have begun a new stage of androgynizing my appearance in "safe" public spaces. I have come out to community artists as androgynous or gender non-conforming by wearing purple hair with lipstick. Art is part of counter culture anyway. I've gotten nothing but complements. And I bought a handbag today to keep my accessories.

But thank you people avzin for the support.

[Michelle_P]

My son attends a progressive Evangelical Christian church (Yes, they exist!).  I explained my situation to him like this:

God does not make mistakes.  God does test us, and those around us, through His gifts.  He may grant us gifts to use in our lives, if only we can recognize them. What we do with those gifts matters.

Recall the "Parable of the talents".  A man going on a journey calls his three servants together.  He entrusts 5 talents (a talent is about 80 pounds of silver, roughly 20 years wages at the time.) to one servant he sees as being very able, 2 talents to a capable servant, and one talent to the third servant.  Then, he leaves.  The servant with 5 talents invests them, and makes another 5 talents.  The servant with 2 talents invests them, and earns another 2 talents.  The third servant buries his talent, fearful of risking it.   The man returns after a long period and settles accounts with them.  The first servant returns 10 talents, the original 5 plus the investment gain, and the man praises him, granting him a high position.  The second servant returns 4 talents, the original 2 plus the gain, and the man praises and promotes him as well.  The third servant returns the original talent he buried.  The man decries his wicked and slothful ways, takes the one talent from him and gives it to the servant with the 10 talents.  "For to everyone who has will more be given, and he will have an abundance. But from the one who has not, even what he has will be taken away.  And cast the worthless servant into the outer darkness. In that place there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth."

Now, when I was created, I had a family that was fairly well off, a good home, and I would develop with an intelligent and curious mind, the potential for a good education, as a white male.  I think God looked at this and thought "OK, this one has it pretty easy, and needs a special challenge to fully develop.  I think I'll give this one the soul of a woman and see what they do with that."  God caused my mother and doctor to use a new medication, DES, that made my brain ready to receive a female soul.

Now, having been granted this gift, and realizing what I have, what am I to do with it?  Shall I bury it, hiding it from the light, so at the end of my days I can only return this gift, unused and uninvested?   Or should I bring this gift into the light of day, use it to it's fullest extent, to let it grow and flourish, for the benefit of myself and those around me, so I may return this gift manyfold at the end of my days?

Now, there are those who would have me bury it, suffer in silence, for this gift makes them uncomfortable.  At The End Of Days, they may very well be cast into the outer darkness.  In that place there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.

[Linde]

@Fallen_Meteorite,  I really don't care for the misuse of the word Christian.  I am as Christian as anybody I know, because I was baptized and believe in God.  I do not understand why evangelicals feel they have a ownership of Christian.  Specifically, as you mention, several of your "Christian" acquaintances are anything but Christian!
Please, if you mean evangelicals with this, don't call them Christian, because this automatically makes me feel to not be Christian!
Thank you and I hope you understand and respect my feelings!
Hugs
Linde

[Janes Groove]

Welcome to the site Fallen_Meteorite.



God doesn't make mistakes.

Man, in pride, chooses to judge God's work and name it bad or good.

[Fallen_Meteorite]

@Fallen_Meteorite,  I really don't care for the misuse of the word Christian.  I am as Christian as anybody I know, because I was baptized and believe in God.  I do not understand why evangelicals feel they have a ownership of Christian.  Specifically, as you mention, several of your "Christian" acquaintances are anything but Christian!
Please, if you mean evangelicals with this, don't call them Christian, because this automatically makes me feel to not be Christian!
Thank you and I hope you understand and respect my feelings!
Hugs
Linde

I think many people's faith are genuine. But some are not. It is not our place to judge. If a Christian friend says I am misguided, and I feel they are misguided for judging what they do not understand, it does not mean either of us is wrong or not saved.

The Bible is open to interpretation. I was once homophobic myself due to my upbringing, and Christian, but I quickly grew out of my homophobia during my college years. I cannot judge someone for their opinion that I am on the wrong path, or even judge them for judging me. Many Christians harbor unforgiveness. All have vices or sins of some kind.

A lot has changed in the past 20 years in our culture. A lot has changed in the past 20 years inside me. A whole lot has changed inside me in the last two months. Of the Christian friends whom I've come out to, all but two have been 100% supportive, one has disowned me (the trucker), and one more thinks I am misguided, but 100% shows her love even if she doesn't support or understand my "decision" or why I didn't "chose" this (the female coworker).

Eventually everyone will know. Then I'll know who my true friends are. Until then I am extremely cautious who I come out to. The ones I have, it feels good to let my guard down and be myself.

I have to leave for work. I apologize if I said something offensive or misinterpretive. I need to reread my previous two posts on the subject.

Also you seem to interpret Evangelical and Christian to have different meaning. I consider them the same. So I mention "Evangelical Christian" and it struck a chord with you. If so I apologize.

[Linde]

Also you seem to interpret Evangelical and Christian to have different meaning. I consider them the same. So I mention "Evangelical Christian" and it struck a chord with you. If so I apologize.

Evangelical Christian is OK for me.  I believe that everybody, who was baptized in the name of the Lord and his son Jesus Christ, is a Christian to start with, some of us practice their faith, others don't, but after bein baptized, you can't take Christianity away from them.  I was raised to be Catholic, which means I was a Catholic Christian.  I don't feel like belonging to Catholicism any more, and lean now towards Methodist, which would make me a Methodist Christian, but I never stopped to be a Christian!  It is pretty obnoxious of many evangelicals, to capture the term Christian for their religious direction, it is the name for anybody who was baptized in the Christian faith!

[Fallen_Meteorite]

Evangelical Christian is OK for me.  I believe that everybody, who was baptized in the name of the Lord and his son Jesus Christ, is a Christian to start with, some of us practice their faith, others don't, but after bein baptized, you can't take Christianity away from them.  I was raised to be Catholic, which means I was a Catholic Christian.  I don't feel like belonging to Catholicism any more, and lean now towards Methodist, which would make me a Methodist Christian, but I never stopped to be a Christian!  It is pretty obnoxious of many evangelicals, to capture the term Christian for their religious direction, it is the name for anybody who was baptized in the Christian faith!

Having reread everything (I'm on lunch), I can see where you are coming from. "Christians" as members of a church, may or may not be born again, but evangelicals are. I actually consider my transition to be like a "third birth," in addition to the physical and spiritual birth.

Having said that, some people take a very literal interpretation of the Bible. If any passage mentions an act as taboo, it is forbidden, period. Trans people must not modify their bodies, and LGB people must either chose a partner of the opposite sex, or live in celibacy. That's a lonely way to live, suffering alone and in silence.

Yes, my body is a temple, and I am taking better care of it now (by exercising, eating right, avoiding caffeine/alcohol etc) than I ever have. If a congregation raises money to remodel a church building, is it not still a church? That is exterior. The soul is the congregation. Why should it concern people if my body transforms? My soul housed inside is still the same.

I had a coworker last year (he is no longer with the company) tell me the Earth is roughly 6000 years old and dinosaurs never existed, but were placed in the soil by the devil to fool us. Um-kay. Not sure who told him that.

There is lots of false doctrine out there. Some may consider us to be false, but we know better. Gotta go, lunch is over with.

[Linde]

There is lots of false doctrine out there. Some may consider us to be false, but we know better. Gotta go, lunch is over with.

Now we speak the same language!  As my Methodist pastor niece said, God does not make mistakes, God made you, and because God does not make mistakes, you are not a mistake, you are just another one of God's children!

And that what we are, children of God, and God knew why we were made the way we are!  No preacher has any idea what God will was, by making us!  And thus they should keep their trap shut forever when talking negatively about us!